There's a point during the year when one feels as if one cannot go on anymore, as if life needs to come to a pause and everything would have a chance to catch up with him, as if the world is spinning and one is standing there watching time pass one by.
This is generally referred to as exhaustion.
Not simply being tired, however much of a factor that is. But, even more so, physical, emotional, spiritual and mental exhaustion.
I've reached that point.
I actually entertained the thought that perhaps I have mono, which I quickly denied, knowing that I could not deal with such a diagnosis at this stressful period of my life. However, I have come down with a case of exhaustion, and it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I was slipping last week before LADF, and that just completely tore me down. Now I feel as if I'll never be able to get back up. I'm almost prepared to spend the rest of my life in this state of exhaustion. It's strage though ... as I sit here discussing how exhausted I am, I still cannot bring myself to carry myself to my bedroom, take a shower and climb into bed, despite the ticking time clock (10:41...42...43...). Because, I know that whether I go to bed at 10:30, or 12:30 won't really matter at this point. I don't think it's possible to be any more exhausted than I already am ... so might as well endulge my exhaustion. :blink: Fascinating way to look at it, don't you think? Just when I think I've come to a place where I can rest, something else comes up, and the torturous cycle begins again. I feel as if I'm running on a hampster wheel ... not in the way people usually mean it, saying that they're life isn't going anywhere ... I just feel like my hampster wheel has popped off of the track and it's rolling all over the place and spinning out of control; it's unstoppable. Kind of like my schedule. It's endless. I could practically tell you what I'm doing every day through July.
Well, now that I've rambled about my exhaustion which I'm sure none of you were interested in ... I'm curious to know if anyone knows or understands this level of frustration that I've reached as well. Please, share your stories. Perhaps we can start a support group or something. Haha. Well, hope you all have a good, restful rest of the week.