chalkboards are for chumps

Today, I found this whilst searching for blogger's Microsoft Word feature, and felt obligated to share it with all of you. Everyone who reads my blog should laugh because of this post, and, frankly, you should all laugh even harder because you've actually read the book. Yes? If you haven't, you're totally missing out.

When I'm an English teacher, it will be my text book. Ahem.

Oh, school. I greatly look forward to the day when I'm the one controlling what the students do instead of the reverse. What a brilliant paradigm shift that will be.

List time. Just because.

Creative ways to do your homework (and actually get it done):

  1. While taking a bath. This works best when you have a headache, because then you actually have an excuse to take a bath instead of a shower. But, make sure the water is really hot when you first start so that it doesn't get cold too fast. You need to be able to sit for at least half an hour. Make sure you have everything you need before getting in: text book, writing utsensil, calculater (chemistry, come on), and music.
  2. While watching television [commercials]. Don't freak out; you can still watch your show. Just mute the tv during the commercials and set a goal for yourself (e.g. to get 3 problems done) every commercial break. This does require self-control, because sometimes commercials are just more interesting than your graphing calculator. I do not recommend this to guys, as they pretty much suck at multi-tasking (and I doubt they could handle to take their eyes off of the tv during commercials).
  3. While listening to a new CD. I've found this is the perfect way to break in your new music that you aren't quite familiar with yet. If you listen to a CD you have memorized while doing your homework, you'll only want to sing along (at least, that's how it is with me). So, put on music you know you'll like, but won't sing along with (because you don't know it yet). This is also convenient, because then you have an excuse to give your parents when you tell them once a week that you need a new CD -- "because it's helping with my homework!"
  4. Outside. Provides for a little change of scenery, eliminates a lot of distractions (i.e. little brothers playing the trumpet), and makes you feel less claustrophobic (after being in a classroom all day). I recommend sitting on the porch or getting a lawn chair and...yeah...sitting on the lawn.

That's all for now. I'm sure I'll have more by the end of this week.

God bless,


after Your heart

You said come, so I ran like a child running to meet his daddy who’d been away at war.
You said imagine, so I dreamed of a fantastical adventure that blew Cinderella away.
You said think, so I pondered more than the greatest philosophers and Einstein combined.
You said speak, so I shouted as though I only had one more chance to say something important.

Then you said surrender,

So I took a few steps back and secured myself in my control.
But You said no, so as to mean that my control was not secure; it was fallible and incomplete.

You said surrender again, so I gave You my weapon.
But I kept myself.
And You said that wasn’t enough, so I took it all back.

I was weary, and I thought I was weary of You.
But You said no, that it was my faulty control I was weary of.

Then You said abandon, so I gave up myself like David when he danced before You.
I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.