chalkboards are for chumps

Today, I found this whilst searching for blogger's Microsoft Word feature, and felt obligated to share it with all of you. Everyone who reads my blog should laugh because of this post, and, frankly, you should all laugh even harder because you've actually read the book. Yes? If you haven't, you're totally missing out.

When I'm an English teacher, it will be my text book. Ahem.

Oh, school. I greatly look forward to the day when I'm the one controlling what the students do instead of the reverse. What a brilliant paradigm shift that will be.

List time. Just because.

Creative ways to do your homework (and actually get it done):

  1. While taking a bath. This works best when you have a headache, because then you actually have an excuse to take a bath instead of a shower. But, make sure the water is really hot when you first start so that it doesn't get cold too fast. You need to be able to sit for at least half an hour. Make sure you have everything you need before getting in: text book, writing utsensil, calculater (chemistry, come on), and music.
  2. While watching television [commercials]. Don't freak out; you can still watch your show. Just mute the tv during the commercials and set a goal for yourself (e.g. to get 3 problems done) every commercial break. This does require self-control, because sometimes commercials are just more interesting than your graphing calculator. I do not recommend this to guys, as they pretty much suck at multi-tasking (and I doubt they could handle to take their eyes off of the tv during commercials).
  3. While listening to a new CD. I've found this is the perfect way to break in your new music that you aren't quite familiar with yet. If you listen to a CD you have memorized while doing your homework, you'll only want to sing along (at least, that's how it is with me). So, put on music you know you'll like, but won't sing along with (because you don't know it yet). This is also convenient, because then you have an excuse to give your parents when you tell them once a week that you need a new CD -- "because it's helping with my homework!"
  4. Outside. Provides for a little change of scenery, eliminates a lot of distractions (i.e. little brothers playing the trumpet), and makes you feel less claustrophobic (after being in a classroom all day). I recommend sitting on the porch or getting a lawn chair and...yeah...sitting on the lawn.

That's all for now. I'm sure I'll have more by the end of this week.

God bless,


tori said...

:) hehe. that was very cute.

thats the funniest blog entry EVER (the "blog, shoots, and leaves" one, of course).

somehow i think even with those helpful suggestions, i will still procrastinate severely. of course i always intend to do my homework. i always think "well, my intentions were good," but then im also reminded "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." haha. so.....yes. well. i enjoyed reading this post anyway! yay for lists!

Melanie said...

Hehe. I love that list. Some pretty good ideas. Studying or doing homework whilst listening to music I've memorized does not work for me for the reasons you've mentioned. I've tried the commercial break method before but it didn't really work with me because, I guess, I just suck at multitasking too. ;) I should try the bath method because - knowing myself - I'd probably drown my books in the water by accident.

Poker Pot said...

YES, it is exact