all they desire (after a little trouble)

Today, I babysat for the last time until break for the Moore family. The three-year-old twins told me, as I was walking out the door, to "have fun at college!" Their mother prepares them well for many of life's circumstances, even how to say goodbye to their summer babysitter who will be gone for quite some time. I hope they don't forget about me, for they touched me indelibly.

Following my babysitting job, I ran by the bank, stopped in Chik-Fil-A for some lunch, then drove quickly to meet Tori at Tinsletown where we would be watching the first available showing of
Becoming Jane in Jacksonville (it came out a week ago in Orlando. The audacity!). There was a totally random bout of traffic which seriously hindered my ability to arrive with time to spare, but I parked at 12:35 and met Tori inside, who had already purchased my ticket. Katie Stuart was there with her mom (and her dad, but he watched The Bourne Supremacy), which was a lovely surprise. Anyway, we made it in the theatre in time, and even got top row seats (it was actually fairly crowded but, as I suspected, the majority of viewers were sporting silver perms and 4-inch-thick bifocals...bless 'em). Tori and I are old souls, I suppose.

I thoroughly enjoyed the film, finding many times in which I could either relate to it, or at least want to, and this would result in the welling up of the tear ducts. I could have sobbed if I had let myself. But there were other people there, and they had paid to see a movie, not hear an angst-ridden teenager cry. So I kept my wits about me.

I'm not going to discuss the movie, because then I'll tell you everything about it. But if you are a fan of Jane Austen, a fan of her novels, a fan of her novel's film adaptations, or looking for a good but unconventional romance story, then I would highly recommend it. If you aren't a fan of Jane Austen because you've never read her work, then shame on you, and I would command you to see this film.

I love this recent phenomena, so to speak, of movies about female writers. It's so fascinating to me to see how their [love] lives greatly contributed to their passionate work.
Miss Potter was a wonderful film, and further enriched the beloved childhood bunny stories to which I fell asleep listening at night. After watching Becoming Jane, I would like to know why she never took the time to write her autobiography, although it seems that her letters share enough of her story to compile a biography, and her novels are certainly paralleled to many aspects of her life. So perhaps she didn't feel the need to be obvious; perhaps she wanted historians to have to search for the answers to her life. Or perhaps she never really wanted anyone to know. And perhaps...we don't.

Jane, in the film, reminds me very much of myself, as I'm sure she reminds every woman in some way or another. But I especially connected with her when she spoke of the actual definition of "irony," a word so often misused and mistreated, poor thing, and also when she referred, aloud, to the literary techniques being used in her own speech. Oh, Jane Austen. The heroine of her own life, and yet she created six of the most touchable, relatable, and passionate heroines in literature's history.

I leave you with one of my favorites quotes from the film: "...His heart will stop at the sight of you, or he doesn't deserve to live. And, yes, I am aware of the contradiction embodied in that sentence."

I remember, sometime this year during AP Literature, leaning over to Victoria and asking her if she knew why Jane Austen never married. A woman filled with so much passion and inspiration surely must desire to love and be loved and to commit to do so. The movie provided me with answers to this question. Interesting to find that her sister, Cassandra, never married either, although both came very close, and both most certainly fell in love.

Life may be a beautiful thing, but happiness is another thing entirely.

God bless,


busblog, boyfriends, and babies

Yes. I realize it has been a year and 6 days since I last posted.

But I was recently asked if I would be interested in contributing to a public blog for my college, Queens University of Charlotte. Saying yes reminded me of my own journaling domain that I had let go due to the pressures of teenage life--which consisted of too much homework, too many friends, and too many options. Such a struggle, isn't it? Also, after exploring my blog for the first time in a year, I discovered that Tony Pierce linked to my blog (imagine that, Tony Pierce, the God of all Blogs, linked to teeny tiny insignificant me), as he had promised to do so after I posted his "How to Blog" post on my blog--but only after inserting apostrophes and bracketing out profanity. :) In his December 2006 post, he links to "The Life of an Oxymoron" as the one who "toned-down" his famous "How to Blog" post. I'll take that as a compliment. Not to mention, holy freaking crap. Tony Pierce linked me. Does anyone else realize what this means? Yeah. I have to keep writing.

At any rate, the struggles in high school are ones that I am now past, and Tony Pierce has indirectly inspired me to keep writing about my all-to-boring but dying-to-be-written life. I sit here before you boldly and excitedly looking forward to my new slate of trials that I am bound to face and have already felt tickle my face before I've even arrived on the college campus and as a writer who wants to share her story with the world...even if that consists only of Tony Pierce (whose blog is, basically, the world) who can certainly be called "My Re-inspiration." Thanks, Tony.

Now...my story. Or the parts we've missed out on over this last year.

I dated Nicholas for over a year, and we parted impossibly, not wanting to say goodbye, much less leave each other. He left for University of West Florida on August 4th, the day before his 19th birthday. In our perfect world, we are going to stay friends forever. At the moment, in our tiny unexperienced world, we cannot live without each other and can scarcely even bear the thought. Getting through this time will be hard for us, but we are confident that we can make it and, as I pray, emerge as stronger individuals. I'll let you know in 10 years how it all played out. But know this: hurting each other is not an option of escape.

In addition to my "single but taken" status, I am leaving for school on Wednesday, a week from yesterday. I am terribly excited, although somewhat nervous, seeing as how I have not packed, shopped, or cleaned for the occasion. I also have not completed my Core summer reading assignment (which includes a written essay). But, such are my procrastination tendencies. And such is the reason I am telling you about my life rather than reading. Procrastination is a natural high. Or something like that.

Yesterday, my cousin's baby (whatever that makes him to me, in terms of semantics, is insignificant) was born. A healthy, strong, grey-eyed baby boy, Cooper Michael Sauls, is my favorite baby. He was 8 pound 2 ounces, 21.5 inches long, and destined to be a football player: big feet, big hands, and long legs. I think he and I are going to have a photo shoot on Monday before I leave, both as a present for his parents (whom I adore) and as a chance for me to try out some photography techniques I've always been curious about.

Today, before I went to visit little Cooper and cousin Ashley in the hospital again, I had to stop by the doctor's office for myself and get a TP Time Test...a fancy way of saying they tested me for tuberculosis. It was fascinating, actually. It's a shot, but not like the typical vaccines you receive at the doctor. They stick a needle in the middle of your forearm and inject a tiny bit of the disease into your body. When they take the needle out, there is a raised bump filled with the fluid. Pretty cool if you ask me. I watched the whole thing. I have to go back in two days, and if the area is swollen, red, or irritated in some way, it could mean I have TB. But I should be fine. The only reason I had this done is because North Carolina law requires that it be done within a year of attending school there. And I hadn't had it done sinec 1992. But I haven't been coughing up blood, so I am confident that all is well.

Perhaps there are more exciting things going on in my life to tell you about, but none of which I can currently think.

Oh, I just thought of one. Recently, there was an article published in The Charlotte Observer that included segments of interviews with both my fellow classmate, Lauren Nation, and me. You might be interested in reading it here.

God bless,