frustrating changes

It's funny how fast life can change right before your eyes and you don't even notice.

It's been odd for me this year, although it's the beginning (of the school year, anywho) in a lot of different ways. The school year started off strange not being a freshman. It took me a while to figure out what being a sophomore meant and to put it into perspective. And now, at dance, things are even stranger. This is my third year in the highest level, and now, I'm one of the best. I don't mean to sound conceited, but now that all of those super good seniors are gone, I am in the better percentage of the class. And, its frustrating. I feel like I have no one to really look up to, no one to push myself with or to aspire to. Instead, I'm making sure I look my best for the girls just coming up to advanced ballet; and, believe it or not, it takes a lot less work.

When I was at Arts Triumphant full time in 7th grade, Miss Yvonne put me in Pavlova, the highest level. At the beginning, it was awful. I was always behind, I was certainly not as advanced as the rest of the class and I was constantly intimidated by the other students. There were 23 year olds in my class. I didn't know what in the world I was doing there. And then, after three months or so, it clicked. I finally got it. My flexibility came, my brain started processing the combinations, I picked up on things quicker, I was doing the hard stuff like I'd done it all my life. And, it was because I was being pushed. Everyone around me was better, and there was no where I could go but up. All I wanted was to be as good as everyone around me.

But now, I'm one of the people that younger girls look up to. And, as cool as it is, it's frustrating because I feel like I have no where to go. I'm not a good enough dancer to be looked up to, and just because I'm "looked up to" doesn't mean I can't get better. So, I feel as if I'm kind of stuck at this place of not being able to go anywhere. And, this doesn't just apply to dance. It applies to a lot of my life too.

We had P&P again today...ah, I can't even describe how awesome it is. I just love how God is using our generation. Even something as simple as a small worship outside of school one morning a week-it's incredible the power that goes into that. His love is so abounding for us, you guys. I pray that each and everyone of you recognize that. :)

God bless,


labor day--living up to its name

Wow. It has been quite a labor day weekend, complete with quite a bit of work...

It started off before the weekend had actually started, but on Thursday, I got to school at 7 o'clock. My brother had to take an AP Psych test, and I wanted to be there early for this thing I guess they call Praise and Prayer. I could either go super early and make it to P&P, or I could go with my friends later and miss it, but get to sleep in. I opted for the first, because I really thought that God was wanting me to go to this thing. And I'm so glad I did. It was awesome. Just a group of high schoolers gather outside the front of the school on Thursday mornings, Jordan plays the guitar, we sing praise songs, and then pray for each other, or whatever is on our minds. It's so incredible. Jordan is hoping to get it to a "See You At the Pole" type of group, with tons and tons of people, but I think at the moment, a whole lot of people are intimidated by the idea. I will openly admit that I was. Honestly, even though it kills me to say this, I was worried about what others would think of me, and worried that I might turn people away from my life, worried that people would think I was just trying to show that I was a good Christian. But, God took that away. And it's such a relieving feeling. As soon as we started singing, I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. And now I can't wait until this Thursday! It was a great start to the weekend, and to the rest of the year, and probably to the rest of my life. It's amazing how God can change your heart with just one little action, but I am speaking from first hand experience. It was unfathomable. I can just feel God's joy inside of me, and His love pouring over me. Crazy what a little praise music outside of school on a hot morning can do you for, aye? Imagine my dissapointment when I found out we weren't having chapel that day, but class meetings. It got a sigh out of me, that's for sure.

That evening was very interesting, and quite a contrast after the great morning I had had; my mom had to call the police on me and a friend of mine because we had been gone for an hour and a half - and she panicked. We just went on a walk, and I had forgotten to bring my cell phone, not thinking much of it. We had told my dad we were going on a walk, but my mom wasn't home at the time. Had she been, she would have made sure I had my phone. Anywho, after an hour and a half of not hearing from us, my mom started to get worried...long story short, we got home to some very frustrated, worried parents. Its the third time my mom has called the police when she hasn't been able to find me. :shrug: What can I say? I'm an adventurous little girl...^_^

And now, of course, the hurricane. We have been without phones or electricity since 1:30 Sunday afternoon. Which would make it approximately 46 hours. :eek: Thank goodness my grandmother has electricity. We've been staying here, where there's actually air conditioning! It gets so incredibly hot here without air conditioning. I don't know how the Europeans survive without it!! But, thank goodness electricity is our only problem (and our DSL Cable line is snapped in half). There are trees down everywhere, roofs ripped off of people's homes, boats ruined, flooding in some areas, debri covering the roads...it's pretty bad. It will take quite a while to get all of this stuff cleaned up.

In the meantime, its been a super long labor day weekend - 5 days. Unfortunately, I think we're going to have school tomorrow :shrug: It's going to be hard to make it without electricity. Maybe I can get out of doing my homework...haha.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well. I've had a fascinating, eventful weekend and I wish you all the best!

God bless,