The Life of an Oxymoron

something i can send you from across the sea

2010-03-14T22:34:00.004-04:00

lvpacrossthesea.blogspot.com

See you there.

The Gift of ADHD

2008-08-13T22:33:00.002-04:00

The title is an allusion to a book Brian and I saw at Barnes and Noble on the same night of the tragedy of which I am about to tell you.

Tori, Brian, and I went to P.F. Chang's for dinner.

And there was a toddler eating his noodles. What looked like his mom, his mom's friend, and his mom's friend's child-aged daughter were also at the table with him. In front of the toddler was, no lie, a portable DVD player, right in front of his face, playing the movie Cars.

WHAT?

Yes. Apparently, the toddler cannot practice enough patience and manners and self-control to normally dine with his family and friends. I cringe to think of that youngster as a teenager.

But seriously, world. This HAS to stop.

God bless,
lv

Highlights of My [first] Summer [in college]

2008-08-08T13:36:00.003-04:00

Crazy, I know, that I'm in college now. About to start my second year, no less. And my cousin's baby, the one who was born last year right before I left for school, is one today. That just kind of puts it in perspective.

Anyway, just wanted to bullet some of the highlights of my summer, which will probably end up including all of my summer. Because it was that monotonous, and almost every week and weekend was exactly the same. With a few exceptions.

For the record: something that was not monotonous in my summer was my amazing Savior. He had something new for me everyday.

Here you are. The most memorable parts of my first collegiate summer (in no particular order):

The Fant family. I babysat for these four kids all summer long, sometimes up to 40 hours a week, and loved every minute of it. Jack, Rad, Kakki, and Lauren are such amazing kids and their parents are wonderful people to work for. I am still amazed at the things those children taught me in the simplest of terms.
River City Church. Need I say more? I was concerned about my relationship with God coming back home, mostly because the church I go to in Charlotte (City Church--actually a sister church to RCC) had been really strengthening for my faith, and my church back home, I knew, was going to leave me feeling dry. Apparently, God had been working on my parents' hearts as well, because we all started going to River City, which is exactly what I wanted to happen anyway! The results have been life changing. Every week I am blessed by the people there, by the words shared, and by the Lord's overwhelming presence in that place. My summer would not have been the same without RCC.
Thursday nights. I don't know if that whole college group gettogether has an actual name, but, it's basically a time for college students to come together and study the Word/study the culture/fellowship/eat/laugh/etc. And, of course, this was just another part of RCC that made my summer incredible. Derek and Beth, the hosts/leaders, are so anointed and truly have a gift for connecting with our generation. I am so, so, so thankful for them, and for Thursday nights. I was humbled to be a part of that group of people. And I will be back to visit!
AG gatherings. If you don't get it, don't ask. But seriously: I love you guys more than you know and am so thankful for your place in my life! Thanks for taking the time to cultivate a friendship that could just as easily have never happened. And I think I speak for all of us when I say that the spontaneous one was definitely the best of the summer, if not the best so far!
Brian Eltomi. I only saw him a few times this summer, but every time was funnier than the time before. Our day in Orlando, the I-owe-you phone calls from the car, and the crazy night of Thai food and cigars were all extremely memorable. And of course, Tori was apart of all of this, because it's always Brian, Tori, and Leslie. And sometimes Brian and Tori. But I'm afraid of Brian, so Tori always has to be around to protect me. Look him up on iTunes. Now.
Queens. Everytime I talked to someone from school (which was pretty often), I wanted instantly for us to all be together again. 3.5 months felt like a lifetime, but now it's almost over. And I cannot WAIT to see you guys again.
Family. No, really. I actually enjoyed hanging out with them, getting to know my growing-up little brothers a little more, and having lots of spiritual conversations with my mom. And Dad and I spent lots of time laughing, of course. Because that's what we do best. I got to see my grandparents and my mom's side of a family a bit, which was nice, especially with little Cooper growing more every day. (Also, I will note that I think the reason I didn't go crazy and actually got along with my family had a lot to do with the teaching and encouragement we all were getting from RCC. Just sayin'.)
Tori. My best friend. I really can't say anything else, because I have to get ready for Cooper's birthday party, and if I start to talk about Tori, then we will be here all day. But she is the greatest. And I adore her. And I would be lost without her.

There's more, but I'm out of time.

God bless,
lv

Failing Somewhere

2008-08-07T09:12:00.002-04:00

I was on a pretty good roll in the month of May with posts. And then work started and life took over and I though about blogging a lot, but never actually did.

So here I am, saying hello.

I go back to Charlotte one week from today. Be excited with me.

I could write an entirely too long post about my summer, even though it has been, for the most part, uneventful.

But God has been doing some incredible things in my life. Ask me about them.

I also want to say that I finished the book I had to read (the freshmen's summer reading--I had to read it because I'm going to be helping them with it) a month ago. I am just so pleased with myself, because this never happens! No matter how hard I plan to read the book with plenty of time, I always end up finishing it the day we start school or whatever. But not this time. And I'm glad to say that my study habits and work habits are really improving. Not that they were ever bad; I always got my work done. But I probably wasted a lot of time and did more procrastinating than was necessary, causing more stress than was necessary. I'm getting over that. Finally. I'm getting to the point where I can work on a paper a little at a time instead of trying to write a 10+ page research paper the night before it's due. BAD IDEA. Just saying.

Well, I have to run, because I'm baking some goodies to take to Bible study tonight.

But remember this: God doesn't just love you. He adores you. And He doesn't need or want anything from you. He wants to give something to you. And he will always, always be there.

I love you all.

God bless,
lv

if i were anything but a christian

2008-05-20T21:37:00.003-04:00

I would worship the following (in no specific order):

Tony frikin Pierce.
Music (Coldplay, Goo Goo Dolls, Hanalei, etc.).
Philippa Gregory.
Julie Kent.
My best friend, Victoria.
My parents (and other intellectual adults who have inspired me to be a better human being).
The Google boys.
Gregory Maguire/Idina Menzel/Kristin Chenoweth/Stephen Schwartz/everyone who made Wicked possible.
The rain.
Barnes & Noble. For getting a bookstore right.

But alas, I am a Christian. And therefore these things must always remain secondary to the rest of my life (with the exception of Tori, mis padres, and Tony, of course).

This list is just getting started.

God bless,
lv

yesterday was my birthday

2008-05-20T14:12:00.002-04:00

And although I don't like to blog about my days, I just have to tell you about my day. Because it was, quite possibly, the best birthday of all 19 thus far.

I began my day early, waking up at 7:30 (well, I got out of bed at 8, actually) to shower and go babysit little Agnes. Agnes is the happiest baby I've ever watched, and she's a joy to be around. We had a pretty good time together, and I was lucky to spend some of my birthday with her.

After babysitting, I met Tori--my bestest best friend--at Al's Pizza for lunch. She brought me a present: a Nemo-themed goodie bag for my car, Nemo! And a poster of The Other Boleyn Girl movie. Even though the book is better, Tori pointed out. Which it is.

"So, we're having pasta for dinner tonight."
"Oh. We're having pasta now, for lunch!"
"Oh, right. We are. I didn't think about that. But we're having ice cream cake!"
"We're having the Molten Chocolate Cake for lunch."
"Oh, right."
"So we're having pasta and cake for lunch, and pasta and cake for dinner."
"Yeah. Whatever."
"Happy birthday!"

That was part of our lunch conversation. We got the Molten Chocolate Cake. And decided the one we got at Crisper's last week was better. Just for the record.

We left lunch and went to the nails place in the new WalMart shopping center (across from the Target, yeah, on Beach and Hodges) to get manicures. I've never had a manicure or a pedicure, so Tori got me both. It was lovely! Tori had a slightly painful experience (one of the tools cut her finger) but I thoroughly enjoyed being waited on...hand and foot. Although, I did manage to mess up my finger nail polish before we had even left the store. Whoops.

After lunch came Claire's. Yeah. Teeny Bopper Claire's. Claire's where we used to go when we were 13 and buy cheap, tacky jewelry and be attacked by pink, purple, and cubic zerconia. We went there. It was a tribute to our last year as teenagers. Not really. We actually went because I wanted to get my second ear piercing, and we decided Claire's was better than a skechy tattoo parlor. After showing my ID, signing release forms, and paying way more than I did when I was 12, I emerged with new CZ studs in my ears and a "I just got my ears pierced!" bag. Embarassing. And then, of course, I ran into someone I knew. I swear, I just turned 19.

Then we went and saw Baby Mama, which we laughed through the entire time. Also, let it be known, that as soon as a possible love interest for Tina Fey's character entered the scene, I had the entire film figured out. Baha. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are, of course, brilliant and hilarious. And why wouldn't I want to watch a movie about babies with the funniest actors ever? I used to watch Baby Geniuses for my funny baby movie kick. Now I've got this one, thank goodness.

Tori and I came back to my house only to be inundated with the smell of homemade cooking and the mad rush of a family preparing for a sister's birthday celebration. I did what I could, but they had done a darn good job of getting everything ready. And we were 45 minutes until takeoff!

Needless to say, loads and loads of my friends showed up and we had, I hope, a great time. Ate lots of pasta, talked and took pictures, demolished an ice cream cake, played a painful round of Catch Phrase (but my team won, which is the important thing), goofed off on Guitar Hero for a bit, and had a few physical fights...all without injury!

In the middle of the party, Joey called from Argentina, so I put the shindig on hold while I chatted with him for a few minutes. I couldn't believe he called me from so far away. "I don't know how much this is costing me," he laughed. So if he doesn't make it back to North America, we all know what happened. He ran out of money. And died.

Anyway, it was so fun to spend the day with my best friend and the evening with my friends and family. You guys rock my world.

Thanks to everyone who made my birthday so special!

God bless,
lv

some things to think about

2008-05-11T21:48:00.004-04:00

"Love (understood as the desire of good for one another) is in fact so unnatural a phenomenon that it can scarcely repeat itself, the soul being unable to become virgin again and not having energy enough to cast itself out again into the ocean of another's soul." -James Joyce

I love this quote. It was one of my "quotes of the day" on my google homepage a while ago. But "love" is one of those terms thrown around so easily that I am always thrilled to find a deep and insightful definition of the word. I like this one because it reminds me that there is one individual out there whose heart will fit into mine, and vice versa. I'm going to give my heart to one man and one man only, and the day I give my heart to him will be the day we stand before God and witnesses and promise to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of our lives--no matter the circumstances. The love that I long to experience is this kind of love that Joyce talks about--the kind that is reserved for one other person in your life and is not tossed around lightly. The one that involves commitment and sacrifice, not just emotion and feelings. As Thomas Mann put it, "He who loves more is the inferior and must suffer."

" 'Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.' 'Sounds like a wrestling match.' 'A wrestling match.' He laughs. 'Yes, you could describe life that way.' 'So which side wins?' He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth. 'Love wins. Love always wins.' " -Mitch Albom

Someone had this on their profile once, and I liked it, so I borrowed it. It's kind of self-explanatory and more sweet than anything. I'm not a huge Mitch Albom fan (he's so idealistic), but this little conversation just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"The thing you have to understand about Daddy is that he wasn't just saying that stuff about the Lord. His God was a God who had a plan for your life, but who left you room to make your own mistakes. Your job was to watch for signs and to listen for guidance. What others might dismiss as the vagaries of fate, my father interpreted as dancing lessons from the Divine. Every step was part of a ballet too large for you to see it all, a provisional choreography perhaps not even intended for you to understand, and the key was to move into its rhythms with both humility and boldness, never mistaking yourself for the director." -Timothy Tyson

This is from Blood Done Sign My Name, the book we had to read last summer as incoming freshmen. I wasn't terribly impressed with it, but this quote struck me and I immediately wrote it down. It's such a beautiful way to describe a relationship with the Lord--at least a small part of it. And the fact that he used dance and choreography as an analogly, of course completely resonated with me.

That's all. Just wanted to share some little thoughts with you.

God bless,

it's all so beautiful it's unbearable

2008-05-04T15:46:00.002-04:00

Last time I wrote, I was preparing to start my freshman year of college.

Now it's the beginning of post-freshman year summer. And I cannot believe it's over.

College, thus far, has been an amazing experience. I have loved almost every minute of it; of course there were those that I would not want to relive, but the good times greatly outweigh the notsogood times. If you'd like to read specifically about what I've been doing over the last semester, you'll have to read my "student blog." But I am going to leave it up to you to find it, because it's not something I'm particularly proud of. Not that I'm ashamed of it...but it kind of goes against my typical blogging style which is to not go through a list of what you did that day or week (unless you're actually doing something exciting, like traveling).

Anyway. Moving on.

Leaving Charlotte was a bit rough for me. Not depressing, I suppose. Not even sad. But strange. I said goodbye to my friends at school (most of whom left before I did; the only ones left by the time I went home were JBIP participants, graduating seniors, and residence life), said goodbye to my family at City Church that has been an amazing blessing in my life, and said goodbye to the kids I babysit for every week. The looks on their faces when I was leaving matched what I was feeling; I sure hope I get used to it since I'm going to have to leave them three more times!

It was very interesting to me that the day I returned home (this past Friday) was the Providence seniors' last day. It made coming home from college even more of a shock. The end of my freshman year meant that it was the end of their senior year--and place I remember being just yesterday. Oh, wait. It was a year ago. That's almost unfathomable.

High school will always be a precious memory in my heart. Providence was a fabulous place for me to grow up and build a foundation. It definitely prepared me (along with my parents, of course) for the world, at least as far as I can see it--that is, college. I don't want to go back to high school, though. College is a fabulous place to be in life, and I couldn't ask for a better university to be at such a time. Queens, though it is not perfect (as Providence was not, either) is so clearly where I am supposed to be and I feel blessed every single day I am there.

It's hard being away from it. I have two homes now, and, as my best friend pointed out, "No matter where I am in life, I will always be missing a set of people."

I guess I better get used to it.

God bless,

all they desire (after a little trouble)

2007-08-10T16:38:00.000-04:00

Today, I babysat for the last time until break for the Moore family. The three-year-old twins told me, as I was walking out the door, to "have fun at college!" Their mother prepares them well for many of life's circumstances, even how to say goodbye to their summer babysitter who will be gone for quite some time. I hope they don't forget about me, for they touched me indelibly.

Following my babysitting job, I ran by the bank, stopped in Chik-Fil-A for some lunch, then drove quickly to meet Tori at Tinsletown where we would be watching the first available showing of Becoming Jane in Jacksonville (it came out a week ago in Orlando. The audacity!). There was a totally random bout of traffic which seriously hindered my ability to arrive with time to spare, but I parked at 12:35 and met Tori inside, who had already purchased my ticket. Katie Stuart was there with her mom (and her dad, but he watched The Bourne Supremacy), which was a lovely surprise. Anyway, we made it in the theatre in time, and even got top row seats (it was actually fairly crowded but, as I suspected, the majority of viewers were sporting silver perms and 4-inch-thick bifocals...bless 'em). Tori and I are old souls, I suppose.

I thoroughly enjoyed the film, finding many times in which I could either relate to it, or at least want to, and this would result in the welling up of the tear ducts. I could have sobbed if I had let myself. But there were other people there, and they had paid to see a movie, not hear an angst-ridden teenager cry. So I kept my wits about me.

I'm not going to discuss the movie, because then I'll tell you everything about it. But if you are a fan of Jane Austen, a fan of her novels, a fan of her novel's film adaptations, or looking for a good but unconventional romance story, then I would highly recommend it. If you aren't a fan of Jane Austen because you've never read her work, then shame on you, and I would command you to see this film.

I love this recent phenomena, so to speak, of movies about female writers. It's so fascinating to me to see how their [love] lives greatly contributed to their passionate work. Miss Potter was a wonderful film, and further enriched the beloved childhood bunny stories to which I fell asleep listening at night. After watching Becoming Jane, I would like to know why she never took the time to write her autobiography, although it seems that her letters share enough of her story to compile a biography, and her novels are certainly paralleled to many aspects of her life. So perhaps she didn't feel the need to be obvious; perhaps she wanted historians to have to search for the answers to her life. Or perhaps she never really wanted anyone to know. And perhaps...we don't.

Jane, in the film, reminds me very much of myself, as I'm sure she reminds every woman in some way or another. But I especially connected with her when she spoke of the actual definition of "irony," a word so often misused and mistreated, poor thing, and also when she referred, aloud, to the literary techniques being used in her own speech. Oh, Jane Austen. The heroine of her own life, and yet she created six of the most touchable, relatable, and passionate heroines in literature's history.

I leave you with one of my favorites quotes from the film: "...His heart will stop at the sight of you, or he doesn't deserve to live. And, yes, I am aware of the contradiction embodied in that sentence."

I remember, sometime this year during AP Literature, leaning over to Victoria and asking her if she knew why Jane Austen never married. A woman filled with so much passion and inspiration surely must desire to love and be loved and to commit to do so. The movie provided me with answers to this question. Interesting to find that her sister, Cassandra, never married either, although both came very close, and both most certainly fell in love.

Life may be a beautiful thing, but happiness is another thing entirely.

God bless,
lv

busblog, boyfriends, and babies

2007-08-09T15:38:00.000-04:00

Yes. I realize it has been a year and 6 days since I last posted.

But I was recently asked if I would be interested in contributing to a public blog for my college, Queens University of Charlotte. Saying yes reminded me of my own journaling domain that I had let go due to the pressures of teenage life--which consisted of too much homework, too many friends, and too many options. Such a struggle, isn't it? Also, after exploring my blog for the first time in a year, I discovered that Tony Pierce linked to my blog (imagine that, Tony Pierce, the God of all Blogs, linked to teeny tiny insignificant me), as he had promised to do so after I posted his "How to Blog" post on my blog--but only after inserting apostrophes and bracketing out profanity. :) In his December 2006 post, he links to "The Life of an Oxymoron" as the one who "toned-down" his famous "How to Blog" post. I'll take that as a compliment. Not to mention, holy freaking crap. Tony Pierce linked me. Does anyone else realize what this means? Yeah. I have to keep writing.

At any rate, the struggles in high school are ones that I am now past, and Tony Pierce has indirectly inspired me to keep writing about my all-to-boring but dying-to-be-written life. I sit here before you boldly and excitedly looking forward to my new slate of trials that I am bound to face and have already felt tickle my face before I've even arrived on the college campus and as a writer who wants to share her story with the world...even if that consists only of Tony Pierce (whose blog is, basically, the world) who can certainly be called "My Re-inspiration." Thanks, Tony.

Now...my story. Or the parts we've missed out on over this last year.

I dated Nicholas for over a year, and we parted impossibly, not wanting to say goodbye, much less leave each other. He left for University of West Florida on August 4th, the day before his 19th birthday. In our perfect world, we are going to stay friends forever. At the moment, in our tiny unexperienced world, we cannot live without each other and can scarcely even bear the thought. Getting through this time will be hard for us, but we are confident that we can make it and, as I pray, emerge as stronger individuals. I'll let you know in 10 years how it all played out. But know this: hurting each other is not an option of escape.

In addition to my "single but taken" status, I am leaving for school on Wednesday, a week from yesterday. I am terribly excited, although somewhat nervous, seeing as how I have not packed, shopped, or cleaned for the occasion. I also have not completed my Core summer reading assignment (which includes a written essay). But, such are my procrastination tendencies. And such is the reason I am telling you about my life rather than reading. Procrastination is a natural high. Or something like that.

Yesterday, my cousin's baby (whatever that makes him to me, in terms of semantics, is insignificant) was born. A healthy, strong, grey-eyed baby boy, Cooper Michael Sauls, is my favorite baby. He was 8 pound 2 ounces, 21.5 inches long, and destined to be a football player: big feet, big hands, and long legs. I think he and I are going to have a photo shoot on Monday before I leave, both as a present for his parents (whom I adore) and as a chance for me to try out some photography techniques I've always been curious about.

Today, before I went to visit little Cooper and cousin Ashley in the hospital again, I had to stop by the doctor's office for myself and get a TP Time Test...a fancy way of saying they tested me for tuberculosis. It was fascinating, actually. It's a shot, but not like the typical vaccines you receive at the doctor. They stick a needle in the middle of your forearm and inject a tiny bit of the disease into your body. When they take the needle out, there is a raised bump filled with the fluid. Pretty cool if you ask me. I watched the whole thing. I have to go back in two days, and if the area is swollen, red, or irritated in some way, it could mean I have TB. But I should be fine. The only reason I had this done is because North Carolina law requires that it be done within a year of attending school there. And I hadn't had it done sinec 1992. But I haven't been coughing up blood, so I am confident that all is well.

Perhaps there are more exciting things going on in my life to tell you about, but none of which I can currently think.

Oh, I just thought of one. Recently, there was an article published in The Charlotte Observer that included segments of interviews with both my fellow classmate, Lauren Nation, and me. You might be interested in reading it here.

God bless,
lv

tell me what you thought about when you were gone

2006-08-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

So, wow.

I haven't written anything in a long while. Too long of a while.

I guess I haven't had the motivation or the inspiration.

There really hasn't been much to write about.

I could write about my busy life, but honestly, I'm sure we're all too busy to read about that.

I could write about my Bahamas trip, but it'd be easier to just send you to the pictures.

I could write about my best friend, Tori, but that would take way too long.

I could write about the newly Significant Other in my life, but I'd prefer just talking to you about it [him] rather than attempting to make sense of it in words.

I could write about how much I loathe summer reading, but somehow I think I'd simply be repeating what all of us have already said to each other.

Basically, there is too much to write about to write at all. If that even makes sense.

Hope you are all enjoying your last moments of summer. Feel free to call me and catch up if we haven't done so in a while; I haven't forgotten you, just been focused on other things.

God bless,
lv

when you love someone but it goes to waste

2006-06-05T13:53:00.000-04:00

Selections from The Last Boleyn by Karen Harper, specifically for Elyssa. Because I love her, obviously.

Also, in the very near future, I will be posting in entry in which I compare and contrast The Last Boleyn to The Other Boleyn Girl. I was doing it in the shower, in my head, this morning. I’m very excited, so you should be too. Wee.

-

The summer weeks flitted by on butterfly wings for Mary Carey at King Henry’s busy court—and in his massive bed. Will Carey’s honeymoon with her had lasted but a week; this one, with the loud and laughing king, went on and on. They hunted, they rode bedecked barges up and down the Thames, they laughed and danced and sported and held hands. For Mary, it was truly the first courtship she had ever had, and she was wholly in love with being loved, if not with the effusive lover himself.

~

He turned to her and pulled her gently away from the willow tree. ‘But the difference, my Mary, is that I love you, and I believe you truly love me. Do you deny it?’

‘No,’ she drawled slowly as memories mingled with the griefs she had felt without him at Plashy and the joys she had felt so often with him. ‘I think I do love you, Staff, but you see…well, my life has been so confused, and I have been so unhappy with Will and His Grace and so, maybe I…’

He gave her a rough shake and she stopped speaking. ‘I asked you once if you loved Will and you said ‘I think I do.’ I told you then that if you think you do, you do not. Do you remember? I do not want you to ‘think’ you love me. I will have you and your love, lass, and you will know it is love or I might just as well marry at the king’s whim or bed some court lady who catches my moment’s fancy.’

Tears came to her eyes, and the tiny hurt grew that always came when he spoke of bedding others. The grip of his hard hands hurt her arms. She smothered the desire to tell him how much she loved him.

~

His arms went strong and sure around her. ‘I love you, my golden Mary. I have always loved you.’ His voice faltered. ‘Yet I am not certain saying ‘love’ is strong enough to tell it all—all of how deeply I have felt for you over the years…’

-

Well, that’s it for now. I did actually enjoy the book, however much it reminded me of Philippa. I can’t wait to show you all the differences between the two author’s portrayals of the same amazing, invisible historical figure.

God bless,
lv

time of death = 12:28 pm

2006-05-05T22:38:00.000-04:00

AP Exams are over.

That’s all I have to say.

(Sorry for those of you who still have AP Chem, AP Psych, or whatever else is next week. Good luck with that.)

God bless,
lv

advanced placement ocd

2006-05-01T15:33:00.000-04:00

In lieu of the AP exams, I thought I’d post the “My Personal Food Handler’s Licensing” Exam (perhaps better known as the OCD Exam) found at the end of Devil in the Details.

Multiple Choice

1) Food should be stored:

Below 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

Below 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

In alphabetical order from left to right.

2) If you find an insect in the produce, you should:

Throw it away.

Rinse produce thoroughly and cut away affected part, then serve.

Rinse produce thoroughly and cut away affected part. Decide produce still carries the taint of death and throw it away, but not in the kitchen garbage can. Use the garbage in the garage instead. Wash your hands well, tap the counter three times to ward off death, then say your afternoon prayers.

3) Serving utensils should be:

Stored in ice water.

Flash-sterilized in the dishwasher.

Anointed in the Jacuzzi.

4) An acceptable salad dressed is:

Oil and vinegar.

Herbed aioli.

Tap water.

5) The black specks in the vegetable soup are probably:

Pepper.

Poppy seeds.

Dead insects. They are totally, totally dead insects. Go wash the bowl until your hands bleed.

6) If food is dropped on the floor, you must:

Wash it before serving.

Throw it away.

That depends. Where did you drop it, exactly? On the carpet? If it was on the carpet you should throw it away and go wash your hands. But if it was on the linoleum, where you saw beacon grease drip that one time, you’re going to have to throw it away, wash your hands, then wash everything you’re wearing. Shower and change into a non-contaminated outfit. This outfit will instantly become contaminated because it takes more than one shower to remove the taint of bacon. Shower again. Change into another non-contaminated outfit, and avoid the kitchen for the rest of the week.

Free response questions

Expound on the following statements:

Toothpaste has calories.
Air can be un-kosher.
Salmonella can flourish in the balmy climes of hell.

From Jennifer Traig’s Devil in the Details “Reading Group Guide”

God bless,
lv

and on a more positive note

2006-04-30T00:38:00.000-04:00

Why is news like this not shared more often?

I found this news so sweet and optimistic, and thought it was a current event actually worth sharing.

Afghanistan's cardiac kids

By URVAKSH KARKARIA
The Times-Union

University of Florida heart specialists will help provide free cardiac care -- valued at more than $80,000 combined -- for two Afghan children with severe heart defects who were brought to a National Guard camp.

The boys, age 2 and 7, have a history of congenital heart defects. The surgeries are scheduled to be performed at Wolfson Children's Hospital next month to improve the boys' blood oxygen levels for a better quality of life and longer life expectancies. The younger child, Azad Kofi, has a single functioning ventricle with pulmonary stenosis, which has led to severely impaired oxygen levels. The older child, Tamim Sarwari, suffers from tetralogy of Fallot, which causes chronic lack of circulation, creating clubbing of his fingers and swelling of his digits. His fingers and lips are blue.

Both children get exhausted easily and are "not as active as we would expect other children of their ages to be," said Ronald Renuart, a colonel with the Florida Army National Guard. He first saw the boys while stationed as a doctor at Camp Phoenix on the outskirts of Kabul, Afghanistan.

Azad was brought to the front gate of Camp Phoenix by his father, Renuart recalled. The child was blue around his lips and fingers and didn't cry a lot.

"He was breathing fast and his heart rate was rapid," said Renuart, who also is a former chief of staff at Baptist Medical Center Beaches.

There was nothing Renuart could do at the camp.

"It was a surgical problem," he said.

Expenses for the medical mission will be covered by Patrons of the Hearts, an endowment which brings children from foreign countries to Jacksonville for cardiac care. The endowment is a partnership between Wolfson, the University of Florida and Fogle Fine Art & Accessories.

Medical and surgical services for the two boys are being donated by Wolfson, while the heart specialists will donate their time and expertise.

Wolfson provides free medical care to about 10 to 12 needy children from foreign countries annually at a total cost of at least $500,000, hospital spokeswoman Vikki Mioduszewski said. Wolfson spends about $10 million annually in providing charity and uncompensated care. '

God bless,
lv

selections from my current reading selection

2006-04-17T22:39:00.000-04:00

Because, if you know me, you know that when I read a book, I want everyone else to read it, because I’m a giving person like that. So, here it is, random parts of the book I’m currently reading, Devil in the Details. It’s a hilarious little memoir that Tori picked up while we were in Barnes and Noble the other day with the comment, “This reminds me of you.” The cover is candy-coated chocolates lined up by color in freakishly perfect lines.

And the book.

Well, the book is about an obsessive compulsive (really truly) religious fanatic. Her religious preference happens to be Jewish, which I didn’t know until I had read the first few pages of the book. I don’t know what it is with me and Jewish memoirs (or, really, half-Jewish memoirs. The authors of Girl Meets God and Devil in the Details were both results of Christian mothers and Jewish fathers, making them, technically, not Jewish. Both, however, underwent official conversion, details of which can be found below). Elyssa likes to think that I am “seekritly” Jewish. So, there’s one theory. I just like to think that I am keenly interested in the Jewish faith, and that maybe, God has a plan for me involving Judaism. Not necessarily me becoming Jewish, since that’s, well, impossible, but perhaps learning a lot more about it, and somehow using it in my career (as an English teacher?). Okay, really, I have no idea, but Jews are amazing, and some of the wittiest people I know. So, here you are, your very own selection of witty Jewishness, from Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood.

-

…THE next step in the conversion was the most unsettling. I would have to go to the mikvah, the ritual bath. I was not looking forward to it. Despite my washing compulsions, I didn’t particularly enjoy bathing, and I certainly didn’t relish the thought of doing it in front of an audience. A witness would have to be present to verify that I did it properly.

The awkwardness of the situation, I hoped, would be mitigated by the luxury of it. The nearest mikvah was in San Francisco, a big city, and this conjured images of glamour for me. I figured the mikvah would be like a spa treatment, only slightly more spiritual. I would have a wrap and a massage, and then, when the spirit moved me, I’d take a dip in my gold Gottex one-piece

In reality it went more like this: there was a vigorous pre-immersion hosing-down followed by a naked inspection from the mikvah attendant that was so thorough it resembled a girl-on-girl reenactment of Midnight Express. Then, still naked, I flopped around in a lukewarm Jacuzzi in front of people politely averting their eyes.

It was a very complicated process. Nothing can come between the body and the mikvah water—not nail polish, lint, dirt, stray hairs, or dental plaque—and the mikvah attendant was there to ensure I was perfectly clean and bare. This was my own personal nightmare. The last thing a thirteen-year-old girl wants is to have her naked body examined by a matter-of-fact Russian babushka. It’s just such an awkward time. I was so modest that I couldn’t even try on belts in the Loehmann’s shared dressing room. An inch-by-inch going-over was torture. It seemed to last forever. She investigated between my toes and under my nails, under my arms and in my navel. I had to lift up my hair and present my neck. I had to open my mouth and stick out my tongue. I was just about to bend over for the cavity search I figured was next when she pronounced me clean enough and pointed me toward the water.

Now all I had to do was immerse myself three times while a witness ensured that I did it properly. This was handled with as much discretion and sensitivity as possible, but still, no amount of discretion can undo the fact that you’re being evaluated while bobbing around naked, like a clumsy Olympic synchronized swimmier who’s lost both her suit and the rest of her team. I wanted to die.

Well, at least I wasn’t a boy. The conversion for boys requires a scalpel. Even if you’re already circumcised, you still have to whip it out in front of the rabbi for a ritual bloodletting. And you have to go through the mikvah deal, too.

So I got off relatively easy. And now it was almost done. I was almost Jewish. All that was left were a few formalities, like choosing a Jewish name. Though I’d spent the last year obsession over the minute details, I gave almost no thought to this one, opting for the name I’d randomly been assigned in Hebrew class six years earlier: Zeva. I liked it because it sounded exotic and chic and reminded me of Zena jeans, which were popular at the time. I later learned it was an unfortunate choice, the Israeli equivalent of Gertrude. It’s also an exact homonym of the Hebrew term for genital discharge. An unfortunate choice.

~

IN December of 1974, the local newspaper ran a picture of my family trying to stuff a Christmas tree into our Volkswagen Beetle. There’s my father, a Norman Rockwell with figure with furrowed brow, pipe, and Coke-bottle glasses, struggling mightily with the tree while my mother and my sister and I, little Chers in ponchos and pigtails, look on with mild alarm. It was intended as a cute lifestyle photo, but as far as our family was concerned it was hard news. It was the first and last time we actually paid for a tree.

We weren’t cheap so much as lazy. When you wait until December 24, no one’s going to charge you for the crisp, teetering remains. Sometimes the lot let us have the tree for free. Other times we were given one by a school or a business already closed for the holiday. Usually we pulled a prematurely discarded tree off a neighbor’s trash pile. One year we struck out entirely and had to decorate a houseplant instead, its tiny pathetic branches bending with the weight of a few tin ornaments. “A Christmas fern.” My mother sighed. “It’s the saddest, silliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a Christmas twee.”

I’m not sure why we bothered with a tree at all. Decorating the tree was always an exercise in dysfunction, the occasion of our biggest annual family fight. My mother got annoyed because no one was doing enough to help; my sister and I sulked because my mother was yelling at us; and my father tried to look busy with some ancillary activity, mixing eggnog or adjusting the hi-fi to maximize the sound quality of the holiday sound track. We plowed through the job sullen and mute, shooting one another hostile looks as we piled on crocheted snowflakes, glitter-encrusted sugarplums, garish blinking lights, and a flurry of tinsel icicles. Being a family that refuses to throw anything away, we had hundreds of ornaments, half of them bent or broken but all of them still in play. We kept on decking until the tree was tarted up like a North Florida stripper. At that point we crowned the sagging mass with a fraying straw star: ta da, it was done. My mother stepped back to admire our work, swirling a glass of eggnog nearly brown with bourbon. “Well, that looks craptacular,” she announced. “Happy Birthday, J.C.”

It was always a disaster, a fire hazard, an eyesore. Even the family pets were moved to register on their displeasure. The dog peed on it; the cat ate the needles. A tree doesn’t belong in a house. More specifically, it didn’t belong in our house. It was a violation of the promise the rabbi had extracted from my parents when he married them. Ours was to be a Jewish home, with Jewish kids: no crucifixes, no crèches, a mezuzah on every doorpost, giant Stars of David clanging around all our necks. We would fly an Israeli flag from the front porch and on Sunday mornings we would gather, strong and tan from planting trees with our Zionist youth group, to toast our heritage as herring juice ran down our chins.

It was my father who broke the bargain and brought home the first tree when my sister and I were still babies. My mother was spending Christmas three thousand miles away from the rest of her family, with a husband who had work Christmas Day and two children who were, likely as not, condemned to hell because she hadn’t been permitted to baptize us. A tree was the least he could do. From there it all followed: the manger scene, the Advent calendar, the stuffed Santa, the silver angels, the red and green wooden block letters my sister always rearranged to spell S-A-T-A-N. A dinky menorah languished off to the side.

“The best of both worlds,” family friends told us, clucking approvingly. “What lucky girls you are.” But what did they know? Their families’ biggest holiday dilemma was whipped or mashed; ours was only begotten son or false messiah. December is the hardest time of the year for an interfaith family. Oh sure, it sounds great: Maccabees and magi! Candles and carols! Festive meals and, best of all, the presents, double presents, eight days of Hanukkah plus Christmas, making nine glorious days of greed. But my friends’ good-natured jealousy was sadly misplaced. The extra presents always turned out to be crap excavated from the bottom of my mother’s purse, Kleenex packets and breath mints and ballpoint pens bearing Realtors’ names. It’s hard to sustain the holiday spirit of magic and miracles when you’re staring down a stocking stuffed with disposable razors and key chains. The interfaith feast that followed didn’t make things any better. Latkes with ranch dressing and spiral-cut ham may be someone’s idea of a dream dinner, but it sure wasn’t mine.

~

MY friends were confused by the whole High Holiday production, but they understood one thing: I got to stay home from school, and this was to be envied. Every fall my classmates pelted me with questions about conversion. “What if you’ve already been circumcised?” they asked. “Are you good to go?”

I answered their questions politely, but inside I scoffed at their ignorance. They had no idea. My days off were hard-won in annual pitched battles with my parents. The outcome was always the same: I was permitted Yom Kippur and one day of Rosh Hashana, but I was nuts if I thought I was getting off for Sukkot. “Suck what?” my family asked. “You made that one up.”

-

Yay!

God bless,
lv

truth, beauty, freedom and ... ?

2006-04-09T13:07:00.000-04:00

So, that’s it?

It reminded me of my trip to Paris. Disappointing, anti-climactic, overrated. Paris was supposed to be this romantic city of love and promise, of beauty and splendor, of excitement and dreams. But what I found there was a crude smell that I can still sense today inside my Paris memories, people so rude they could not even afford to smile at someone they knew—much less an American stranger, and a public transportation system so complex that I found myself constantly fearful of getting lost inside or, worse, being underground with a bomb. The romanticism was certainly present in the Louvre, the restaurant owners were generally friendly and understanding, and Mom and I eventually figured out the Metro System on our way back through Paris; but the heart of the city was not love. It was something of selfish motivation, or an overly zealous (so much so it was uncouth) determination.

Not that I was looking for love last night. But I was looking for excitement, to see what all the hype was about, to discover something new about myself and my peers, and maybe, to actually enjoy myself.

I didn’t actually have such high expectations. But, my expectations were not as low, perhaps, as they should have been.

I wasn’t excited—not even for a moment. I was apathetic pre, current, and post, and somehow, apathy translated to misery.

I still don’t know what all the hype is about, and I don’t think I ever will.

The only thing new I discovered about myself is that I should stay away from things like this; and the only thing new I discovered about my peers is that they know how to do a lot more than just booty dance.

Enjoying myself was pretty much a lost cause even before it all started. There are just certain people in this world who will keep you from enjoying yourself, no matter how much you don’t want it to get to you. It always does. It always wins.

So, I guess that’s it.

God bless,
lv

queen amadala exposed

2006-03-05T20:09:00.000-05:00

SNL was so amazing last night. I couldn't stop laughing, and they produced another brilliant new "digital short" that I feel compelled to share with everyone. Just be sure to read the previous post after you watch this--just to cleanse yourself, you know.

God bless,
lv

what it means to be a jewish christian

2006-03-01T16:37:00.000-05:00

I'm reading Girl Meets GOD for the second time, although the first time I didn't read it in its entirety. I was reading it while traveling through Europe and my mom snagged it and started reading it, and I never got around to finishing it. I felt the need to do so in the past few weeks, so I've started it again and am already finding it incredibly informative, rewarding, and close to my heart. Thus, I want to share some of my favorite passages with you.

First of all, Girl Meets GOD is a memoir about "the child of a Jewish father and a lapsed Southern Baptist mother [who] chose to become an Orthodox Jew. But even as she was observing Sabbath rituals and studying Jewish law, Lauren [F. Winner] was increasingly drawn to Christianity. Courageously leaving what she loved, she eventually converted. In Girl Meets GOD, this appealing woman takes us through a yea rin her Christian lief as she attempts to reconcile both sides of her religious identity"--according to the back of the book. Now, on to her story.

"I gave away all my Jewish books and let go of all my Jewish ways, but I realized, as I spent time with other Christians, that Judaism shaped how I saw Christianity. It shaped the way I read the Bible, the way I thought about Jesus, the way I understood what He meant when he talked about the yoke of the law. I found my heart sometimes singing Jewish songs. I thought I had given away all my Jewish things, but I found that I hadn't. I'd just given away some books and mezuzot and candlesticks. I hadn't given up the shape in which I saw the world, or the words I knew for God, and those shapes and words were mostly Jewish."

"No one in my family--not my Reform Jewish father, nor my lapsed Southern Baptist mother, nor my older sister Leanne--talked about God. Leanne and I knew we were Jewish; that was part of the bargain my parents struck as the first intermarraige in either of their families, that the kids would be Jewish. No one noticed that according to Jewish law, according to Orthodox or Conservative Jews, Leanne and I were as Jewish as Betsy Ross, Judaism being passed to children by their mother. But still, Leanne and I would have checked off Jewish on a list: Southern, Jewish, Tar Heels, Democrats. That checklist translated into a menorah next to our Christmas tree, and we got to skip school on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We went to Sunday school at the temple in Asheville. We had a Passover seder every year."
In addition to the Passover seder and the Christmas tree, I had my own religious rituals. I made up a prayer, and said it every night in bed, after the lights were out, never deviating from the text I'd set: first one section of 'thank yous,' and then a section of 'what I'm going to try to do better,' followed by a list of things I wanted. And no matter how much I wished to skip ahead to section three, I always forced myself to get through the gratitudes and the repentances first."

(This part is especially for Elyssa. Hehe.)

"I spent the summers away from Charlottesville. One summer, I attented an academic camp on a college campus in Pennsylvannia where I took a creative writing course. There I met a boy, Bejamin, who was Orthodox; he and I were two of the maybe half-dozen kids who turned up for the Friday night Jewish service (another six or so trundled off to church Sunday morning while th eother campers played volleyball and tie-dyed t-shirts). After the service, Bejamin walked me back to my dorm, and I left the books I had been carrying--Jewish Meditation by Aryeh Kaplan and Kaplan's translation of the Torah--in his backpack. 'Don't you want your books back?' he asked."
'Oh, no,' I told him coquettishly, 'I'm leaving them with you on purpose. So you'll have to find me in the morning and return them.'"
He did that, found me after breakfast and gave me my books, and we spent Shabbat morning sitting on a bench talking about the novels we loved and what we thought about God. The next day he found me again, and wooed me with his guitar playing, and we got into a fierce argument about what had caused the Civil War, and we spent the rest of the summer in each other's company, taking long walks and sometimes just sitting next to each other reading."
Bejamin was from Washington, D.C., not too far from Charlottesville, and after campe was over and we were back into the rhythms of our school years, I began spending occassional weekends and holidays with his family. When I think back to those visits, what impresses me is his mother. I think I wrote her off ten as a parochial, dull secretary, with a Brooklyn accent as think as her waistline. Now I realize that she was generous and kind, or maybe a little foolish, or maybe just a hip hands-off parent. What must she have thought about this young, unfamiliar girl coming from Virginia to visit her eldest son? Most mothers in her position would have been made nervous by our friendship, by the hundreds of letters we wrote and the phone bills we ran up all through high school. And maybe she was nervous, I don't know. But maybe she also saw that I was stumbling my way toward God."
When I visited his family, Benjamin bunked down in a younger brother's bedroom, and I slept in his room. He always snuck in late at night and we would lie in bed kissing. Maybe kissing him, in that Washington town house with brothers and parents sleeping down the hall should have felt thrilling, or dangerous. I suppose his parents could have walked in on us at any moment, and freaked out, ordered Bejamin back to his brother's room and me back to Charlottesville. But it didn't feel thrilling or illicit or rebellious; it felt domestic. I had kissed boys before, kisses grabbed in Charlottesville bedrooms when someone's parents were out for the evening, but no one other than my mother ever saw me in a Lanz flannel nightgown."
My generation didn't have my parents' language. We didn't go steady or get pinned, but even if we had known those words, I don't think Bejamin and I would have used them. We had high-pitched conversations about the state of things often enough, but we never would have said we were dating. He never would have called me his girlfriend. Still, we both imagined getting married. My own daydreams were part The Chosen and part Anne of Green Gables. We would be like Gilbert and Annie, only we would be religious Jews. In one of the daydreams, Bejamin and I grew up to be teachers, teaching at some Jewish high school in New York or D.C., he would teach history and I would teach Bible and sometimes we would send love notes back and forth between our classrooms, carried by a teacher's pet who could be trusted not to read them, or, at least, not to tell."

"Rabbi M. was a baal teshuva, a "master of repentance," someone who had not been raised as an observant Jew but had become Orthodox. He was smart, and a little awkward, and he loved high school and college students, and he had a charming French wife and a beautiful daughter, then about seven, named Rayzl. He loved Rayzl above all else. He doted on her. He was one of those dads who even tried to learn to fix his daughter's hair. (He was hopeless. Rayzl always had bumps when Rabbi M. fixed her hair.)"
And he loved me. He loved me and he understood me. He could often anticipate what I was going to say before I said it. Over the years that I knew Rabbi M., I came to see that we were a lot alike, that we had the same strengths and weaknesses, that he saw in me something of himself. That sort of self-seeing almost makes for intensity. I see it now in the history department at Columbia. The teachers here are kind, and magnanimous, and devoted to their students, but sometimes you see a special kind of devotion, a sort of selecting out, and you know that what the professor sees in that student is something of himself. He sees himself again, anew, at some younger, fresher age. I see it myself, in the students who are assigned to my discussion sections. I have liked most all my students--but sometimes there's a special student who loves history and finds subtle questions fascinating, a student who doesn't know the first thing about antebellum Southern planters and then reads Roll, Jordan, Roll or Within the Plantation Household and finds himself obsessed with cotton and overseers and hoopskirts and slavery; those students remind me of how I was just a few years ago, and I love them for it."

"I was impressed in a literary way with this idea of Incarnation. But I wasn't persuaded by it. The rabbis had very clear expectations of what the Messiah would do. He would bring world peace, and he would rebuild the Temple, and he would gather the Jews back into Israel, and he would do it all at once, none of this not completing his assigned tasks and having to come back to earth a second time. Jesus hadn't done those things; ergo, he wasn't the Messiah. It was a good story, this story the Christians had dreamed up, but I was sure that it wasn't, finally, true. It was good story the way The Great Gatsby is a good story. Beautifully written, clever, insightful, but not something to shape your life around. Not something to pray to."

Just a few of the words that I could relate to, or found beautifully profound. Hope you all enjoyed them as well.

God (and Jesus) bless,
lv

chalkboards are for chumps

2006-02-10T20:46:00.000-05:00

Today, I found this whilst searching for blogger's Microsoft Word feature, and felt obligated to share it with all of you. Everyone who reads my blog should laugh because of this post, and, frankly, you should all laugh even harder because you've actually read the book. Yes? If you haven't, you're totally missing out.

When I'm an English teacher, it will be my text book. Ahem.

Oh, school. I greatly look forward to the day when I'm the one controlling what the students do instead of the reverse. What a brilliant paradigm shift that will be.

List time. Just because.

Creative ways to do your homework (and actually get it done):

While taking a bath. This works best when you have a headache, because then you actually have an excuse to take a bath instead of a shower. But, make sure the water is really hot when you first start so that it doesn't get cold too fast. You need to be able to sit for at least half an hour. Make sure you have everything you need before getting in: text book, writing utsensil, calculater (chemistry, come on), and music.
While watching television [commercials]. Don't freak out; you can still watch your show. Just mute the tv during the commercials and set a goal for yourself (e.g. to get 3 problems done) every commercial break. This does require self-control, because sometimes commercials are just more interesting than your graphing calculator. I do not recommend this to guys, as they pretty much suck at multi-tasking (and I doubt they could handle to take their eyes off of the tv during commercials).
While listening to a new CD. I've found this is the perfect way to break in your new music that you aren't quite familiar with yet. If you listen to a CD you have memorized while doing your homework, you'll only want to sing along (at least, that's how it is with me). So, put on music you know you'll like, but won't sing along with (because you don't know it yet). This is also convenient, because then you have an excuse to give your parents when you tell them once a week that you need a new CD -- "because it's helping with my homework!"
Outside. Provides for a little change of scenery, eliminates a lot of distractions (i.e. little brothers playing the trumpet), and makes you feel less claustrophobic (after being in a classroom all day). I recommend sitting on the porch or getting a lawn chair and...yeah...sitting on the lawn.

That's all for now. I'm sure I'll have more by the end of this week.

God bless,
lv

after Your heart

2006-02-07T22:44:00.000-05:00

You said come, so I ran like a child running to meet his daddy who’d been away at war.
You said imagine, so I dreamed of a fantastical adventure that blew Cinderella away.
You said think, so I pondered more than the greatest philosophers and Einstein combined.
You said speak, so I shouted as though I only had one more chance to say something important.

Then you said surrender,

So I took a few steps back and secured myself in my control.
But You said no, so as to mean that my control was not secure; it was fallible and incomplete.

You said surrender again, so I gave You my weapon.
But I kept myself.
And You said that wasn’t enough, so I took it all back.

I was weary, and I thought I was weary of You.
But You said no, that it was my faulty control I was weary of.

Then You said abandon, so I gave up myself like David when he danced before You.
“I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.”

elyssa = God = leslie = Jesus

2006-01-13T19:06:00.000-05:00

Note: equal sign means believes in, not literally equals.

Therefore, by the transitive property, if I pray to Jesus to help Elyssa with her problems, then He will help her. Hehe.

(He would help her anyway without stupid math theorems, but I was just trying to explain it to the Jewish genius. She's amazing. And I love her.)

God bless,
lv

walmart speak

2005-12-23T15:37:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay. Last one. We just can't get enough of SNL, k?

God bless,
lv

what's with mothers leashing their children?

2005-12-23T15:15:00.000-05:00

Another fabulous SNL video. Perhaps the greatest one ever. Tori and I can quote it, if such a thing is ever necessary. :)

God bless,
lv

turkish delight

2005-12-21T11:59:00.000-05:00

This was on SNL this past week, and I wanted to share it. Tori and I found it quite humorous. :)

God bless,
lv

why can't i find you?

2005-12-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

When did life become so confusing?

Nothing is simple anymore. Nothing at all. Nada.

It’s true, though. I get home from wherever at 9:00, and I make myself some frozen macaroni and cheese, and it turns into this whole ordeal about who has already eaten and who hasn’t and why they want to eat my dinner and why they should dirty another dish rather than eat out of the container, especially when I’m the one who’s going to be doing the dishes anyway.

And, somehow, whenever we’re assigned a group project at school, something goes drastically wrong within my group. It’s all of this stupid technology nowadays, I swear. Last time, my camera died and we had to completely change our plans. This time, the camera looked like USB, but when I got it home, I found out that it was not; rather, it was Firewire—some new hookup that’s apparently better than USB. As far as I’m concerned, it’s stupid, because just when everything is USB, they come out with something new. I am beginning to loathe technology.

And then there are boys. Who just make me want to…I don’t even know. I’m over him, completely and entirely (for those of you who don’t know), but it doesn’t make me notice him less. Or be annoyed by him any less. Or want to please him any less. I feel very relieved to be from the bondage of crushing for the time being (note: I find crushing totally obnoxious and a waste of time, however, inevitable), yet things would be so much easier if I could simply be relieved of him. Sadly, things don’t work that way. They’re determined to be confusing.

I just miss the days of simplicity. The days when I could sit outside in the front year and read for an hour; the days when friendships consisted of “coming over” and playing American Girl dolls and Barbies; the days when dinner meant sitting down with the family and talking about our days, and not talking about current politics; the days when to live meant to breathe, to breathe meant to laugh, and to laugh meant to love.

I’ve been exhausted lately. Have stayed up past 12 (sometimes until 2:30) every night since Friday. Someone please tell me how I am still functioning?

Christmas Extravaganza tomorrow, at 7. I’m excited about performing. :)

God bless,
lv

homecoming pictures

2005-11-22T23:19:00.000-05:00

TACKY DAY:

PAJAMA DAY:

SPIRIT DAY:

POWDERPUFF GAME/STREET FAIR:

last words

2005-11-12T17:17:00.000-05:00

In context with my previous post, and my recent visit to Elon University (possibly my number one college of choice: I fell in love with it even before I went on campus, and being there only helped solidify my excitement toward it), I decided to post a poem from their literary and art journal, Colonnades. This particular poem, titled "Last Words," was actually their subtitle for their 2005 edition of Colonnades, reason being that the editors "believe that the hope of all artists is contained in these lines ("They will find me, dirt-dusted masterpiece/Of their mother's or father's heritage./They will not have to wonder if I was loved"): the hope that our work will leave a lasting impression. The hope that there is something in our line break, our metaphor, our brushstroke that makes some piece of this world seem newer, shinier, cleaner than it did before."

My favorite part is the first two lines of the second stanza; it seems a very fascinating way to think of God and death. You can decide for yourself, however. Here is "Last Words" by Victoria Windsor.

I do not want an expensive casket. I want a simple box
Painted by children who do not have parents
Who love them. Let the children choose
Colors that suit their mood and may or may not
Resemble my life at all.
Let it be about them
And the way they do not fear death.
For one day their grandchildrens'
Grandchildren will go digging
Around playgrounds or graveyards,
Around the rugged earth in the middle
Of a forest near their home, and
They will find me, dirt-dusted masterpiece
Of their mothers' or fathers' heritage.
They will not have to wonder if I was loved.
Soon it will be too late to call
My daughter. I will be sleeping
Soundly, quietly, waiting for the children.

I believe in a God who would never
Make us live life twice. He is too compassionate
For that, and smarter.
One day I won't come back. People aren't like that.
They go, their hearts distressed
Like drifting sailors or old furniture.
They are lost or used, but mostly forgotten.
When the last thread of my hair is pulled from your jacket,
The only things you will remember
Are the colors of my coffin. Blues and reds
And browns stirred on the wood
In childish script, pictures of things
no on but children will understand.
They will cover me in autumn leaves, they will want
to jump about me and have me move with them, like them.
Their parents will not allow this and I will burn
With the leaves, my smoke and scent and laughter
Filling the evening sky.

God bless,
lv

someday, i hope we'll get the chance

2005-11-09T17:19:00.000-05:00

“It’s better to feel too much than too little,” states Melanie’s lj header.

And it’s so true.

However, it is in the moments of death and despair when we wonder if we would rather be feeling nothing than a terrible loss and pain for our loved ones.

Death—something I refer to as a disgusting inevitability—plagues our lives, ironically, almost constantly. The closest encounters I’ve had with death (not in terms of my self, but in close friends or family members) have been fairly recent, beginning about 5 years ago when my great-grandfather died. I loved him, but he was very old and in poor health by the time I was old enough to appreciate him that I never really had the chance to grow close to him. His death was a great loss in our family, being my father’s grandfather and his father’s father, and a wonderful man to all he meet, however, it didn’t change the course of the rest of my life.

About a year later, my great-uncle Richard died, my grandmother’s brother. Being extremely close to my grandmother, losing Richard was emotional at best, though not life changing for me. He was an incredible person to be around, and it is certainly sad to think I will not be seeing him at any recent family gatherings; however, on that note, I rarely saw him very often to begin with. The times that we did spend together were precious and memorable, but his death was not a painful blow—simply due course.

In both of these situations, I consider myself blessed to have spent the time with these men that I did—just enough to enjoy them but not enough to be drastically affected by their deaths; rather, I’ve been affected by their lives.

However, this distance cannot possibly be maintained from all individuals; for, it is only part of the relationship tendencies of a human to desire closeness and intimacy. Certainly, there are a handful of people who have been so hurt by love, loss, life and death that they reject intimate relationships. However, I feel fairly certain that most of us, in general, have not been affected in this way and even if we have, still ultimately desire intimacy and connection.

That being said, when the life of a dear friend or close family member is put in jeopardy, or brought to an end, the results are much more tumultuous than that of what I described earlier. For, if someone has been a part of your daily life time after time after time—or frankly, even one time—it is only natural that you would be massively affected by their eternal absence.

Melanie’s friend is dying, which is what compelled me to write down my thoughts on the matter. I cannot pretend to even understand what this must feel like, however, I can only think of how my emotions would derail knowing that my friend—be it my very best friend or my high school acquaintance—might be ending his journey (essentially, that is. There is a positive side to all of this, knowing that an even bigger journey lies ahead…an endless journey with pure bliss and perfection) on this earth.

I remember in third grade (maybe 2nd, maybe 4th) my friend’s mother died of cancer. She had been in remission after a battle with breast cancer, and then it came back not long after in her brain and lungs. She didn’t live long. The day I found out she died, I cried for hours. The idea that this girl, my friend, was going to grow up without a mother at her side, that this mother would never see any of her 3 children graduate, marry, have children of their own…that she was gone…forever…was devastating!

In seventh grade, a sixth grader in my church youth group died of leukemia. One day she was getting remarkably better, and three days later she was gone. While I wasn’t very close with her, I distinctly remembered her smile and constant laughter. She was a light, a beautiful presence, always kind and gentle spirited, despite her immense trials. I think about her a lot, knowing that she didn’t get to live life past twelve years. That she never went on to high school, college, marriage, motherhood…but the life she lived, she lived well and happily.

And it seems to me that these people who have the chance to know they are dying understand something you and I will never understand until we’re in the situation ourselves. They recognize the value and importance of life as we know it, but also the life they are going on to live—and those we are going on to live. I envy them, in an ironic sort of way, and their opportunity to live with such genuine happiness and vitality that nothing can stop them—not even death.

While death is that disgusting inevitability that none of us want to accept or face, it can be a beautiful reminder of our precious, short time on this earth, and how important every single smile is.

So smile and attempt, in some sort of passionate way, to live like you were dying.

God bless,
lv

when i think of all i've seen

2005-11-06T16:43:00.000-05:00

I learned a lesson on Friday.

I’m not sure what it is yet, but I know I learned something.

I also finished Son of a Witch this morning, which…I’m slightly disappointed with. The ending was very abrupt and, I felt, not fully explained. And, perhaps it was even expected? I would love for fellow Wicked/Maguire fans to let me know their thoughts on the matter, and maybe explain to me their take on the final chapters.

I went to Peter Pan last night, which was cute. And at first it was emotional, not being in it, but then I sort of let myself get over it with Tiffany’s help. She said a few…encouraging words. After the show, I went back and saw Jess, who was beautiful as always! And she asked me how I was doing, how life was going, how my feet were (since every time she’s seen me I’ve been in a cast or whatnot). So, that was fun. I completely forgot to go and talk to Stephen and Jonathan, although they were adorable and awesome as well! All the Village Dance peeps did wonderfully, too, and I enjoyed watching (for once in my life!). Besides, I’m not sure I entirely regret not having to draw a beard on myself. ;)

I still need to put up some homecoming pictures, even though homecoming was in September. In fact, I’ll probably just post a bunch of school pictures at some point. Have lots and lots of them.

Mrs. Starkweather had her baby: Stephen Jonas.

Kit Rossi had her baby: Kathryn (Ryn).

I think other people have had babies recently too, but I can’t think of them. Mrs. Peck is pregnant, and I’m fairly certain that Miss Susan (Mrs. Susan, really…from my dance studio) is pregnant as well. Yay for babies. :)

In Son of a Witch, candle has an apparently still-born baby, but sweet Liir nurses her back to health. How precious.

Mash emailed me the other day! We hadn’t spoken to her in almost a year. It was so good to hear from her.

I went to the Providence Fall Festival today to help out and get much-needed community service hours. It was fun; Skip, Hayden, Christina and I manned the hay ride, being sure people didn’t jump and/or fall out on the couple of dips on the trail. We had one rowdy bunch of 5th graders who decided it was funny to fall out…more than once. Then Skip and I got angry. It was kind of fun. :-p

The weekend is here and I have much to do. I’ve been so busy lately, kids. Not that that’s surprising. Nothing has changed in the past few months except I have decided conclusively that I truly, loathe someone. Any of you who were at school on Friday know who. :dies:

God bless,
lv

What is this feeling, so sudden and new/Felt the moment I laid eyes on you/My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, my face is flushing/What is this feeling?/Fervid as a flame/Does it have a name? Yes/LOATHING. Unadulterated loathing/For your face, your voice, your clothing/Let’s just say, I loathe it all./Every little trait however small/Makes my very flesh begin to crawl/With simple utter loathing/There’s a strange exhilaration/In such total detestation/It’s so pure so STRONG/Though I do admit it came on fast/Still I do believe that it can last/And I will be loathing, loathing you/My whole life long!

life, lauren and cars

2005-10-08T15:52:00.000-04:00

I have a car.

I still don't believe it. Maybe that has to do with the fact that it's still in Texas waiting for me. But, no matter. My dad and I are flying to Houston tomorrow and driving it back home. Hopefully we'll get the few random things fixed that need to be dealt with (rubber on windshield wipers needs to be replaced, stereo needs to be repaired--which, yes, means we have to drive the whole way back from Houston without music. I think we're going to utilize that laptop in that regard.) as soon as possible so it will be all ready to call itself mine. :-p

Anyway, I'm sure you all aren't nearly as surprised about the car as I am, so I will reluctantly move on. Haha.

Last night, I went to Murray Hill to see little Lauren play and sing in the cafe (and to avoid, at all costs, swing dancing, though I was unsuccessful). She did SO wonderfully, and I told her she must go and record a CD at Doug's so I can hear her anytime I want. :)

She's playing again at the next swing night, October 21st, and probably November 4th as well. Also, she'll be at the Starbucks on Beach Blvd (I think?) on November 11 and December 1 (?). Go and see her. She's amazing.

Hope everyone is doing well. I've been stressed, as you all know...but God is revealing His goodness to me everyday and I am so thankful for Him. I cannot imagine how hard life would be if God was not Lord over it.

God bless,
lv

and what was said to the rose to make it unfold

2005-09-21T20:38:00.000-04:00

was said to me here in my heart, so be quiet now and rest

I’m finding more and more time to stress and less and less time to bless

(i.e. spiritually, mentally, physically, friendly-ly etc)

.

My life is the definition of insanity right now. Since at least 8th grade, I have had people warn me about junior year. Actually, it was always “the odd years are the hardest”—which is, in one sense, quite true. Freshman year was harder than sophomore year in the terms that I was becoming acclimated and assimilated to the idea of school, first of all and high school, secondly. My class courses were fairly simple; however, mentally and emotionally I had to work hard (not to mention the fact that my mom had to encourage me to—literally—not work so hard, as I would spend way too much time on little nearly insignificant assignments…which, in the broad scheme of things, really hasn’t changed much). Tenth grade was the greatest year of high school, and possibly my life thus far. It wasn’t that it was easy; it wasn’t. There were times when I was stressed up to my eyeballs (figuratively speaking); but the good times greatly outweighed those previously mentioned, and the stress never left me to make seemingly life-altering decisions or to breakdown in the shower.

And then came junior year. And I cried. And I made the “I Miss Tenth Grade CD”. Because I did. Genuinely. I regretted ever complaining about any amount of work we had to do last year, because it cannot even compare to this year. I heard the sophomores complaining the other day about Mrs. Sylvia assigning them “50 pages of reading in one night” (I’m assuming this was a hyperbolic statement on their parts). And I could do was laugh (and scoff inside of myself). For, as AP Lang juniors, we are considered blessed if all we have to do is read 50 pages in one night. Generally the numbers are more like 60 or 70, and the reading is dense for the most part (Current Issues and Enduring Questions). For the past week or so, we have actually been relieved of this terrible pattern, but it has since been replaced with the constant lurk of this HUGE (I mean, massive, guys) research paper that’s due a week from this upcoming Monday. And I have yet to even realize exactly what must be done in order to complete it. All I know is that it deals with politics—“ISM”s, as Mrs. Tusek affectionately calls them—which I care almost nothing about. Sure, I love to write. I had an absolute blast writing my research paper on John Donne last year, and the source notebook, book collection and paper itself will contest to that. However, that was then. This is now.

And I’m still freaking out.

AP classes aside (which, I must say, cannot be labeled as being a mistake; I happen to greatly enjoy APUSH…much more so than AP Lang. And this idea—of liking history more than English—officially freaks me out and has me falling on my knees in submission and confusion), there is so much other stuff going on in my life I don’t even know where to begin the explanation. Lists are always handy.

Dance: 3 days a week; 2-3 hours each day

Anchor Club: President Elect; consists of spontaneous and random meetings; lots of responsibility falls on me since I’m the only officer (besides Nash) that’s actually in class with the official sponsor (i.e. “Leslie, will you deliver this to all the officers…Leslie, will you see what we can do about this?...Leslie, I don’t see any of the others, so will you *blank*?”); will pick up even more once clubs officially begin

Chemistry: a non AP class that rips my heart out, confuses the life out of me, and greatly damages my previously 4.0 GPA (I still have yet to get above a C on a test)

Algebra 2: so simple and easy for me, however, the teacher sucks and does stupid things and therefore, I cannot seem to get above a B on her tests because of her weird quirks, habits and inconsistent decisions (not to mention wording of questions)

Youth Sunday Dance Leader: consists of choreographing, teaching, organizing, designing (etc) a dance for/to a group of girls who have never danced a day in their lives (save for 1 or 2 of them); collecting costumes for these girls from presently unknown sources; all in the space of…oh, 5 weeks? CRAP!

Youth Sunday School Discussion Leader: forced to comply with this request when my youth leader called me and personally asked if I would take over the Sunday School discussions for the next 5 weeks; involves planning and preparing for the lesson each week, figuring out a way to get the discussion going, and trying to get my fellow youth (many who are older than me) to receive what I have to say and to also speak themselves (perhaps one of the most complicated, stressful, and frustrating experiences of my life).

The Unofficial Editor of the Sophomores’ English Papers (among other things): of course, done of my own free will, though stressful all the same; something I highly enjoy doing (as it prepares me for my own future career…) and have a terribly hard time saying no to (especially if its someone I love dearly, i.e. Lauren and Kelly); results in me often neglecting to edit my own paper. Oops.

Familial Responsibilities: Cleaning the rabbit cage (which sounds incredibly stupid, but it’s a responsibility that falls on me every weekend which no one else is willing to help out with, so it will not get cleaned until I have a spare moment to do so or until my mom yells at me and thus forces me into submission); babysitting for the little boys (well, it hasn’t been very bad this year, but it’s ridiculous that it’s an issue at all. I mean, seriously. They’re 9 almost 10 and 11 almost 12. Spencer and I have been staying at home by ourselves since we were 7 and 8 at least. The worse thing that would happen is they would play PS2 the whole time. But, they’ll get over that); setting the table/clearing the table/cleaning up the kitchen on heavy homework nights (Need I say more? Dad: “I cooked. You clean.” :snorts:)

Providence Post Guest Columnist: Well, this hasn’t stressed me out yet, because they haven’t asked me to do anything. However, it is a commitment I made; and although it’s currently on the “DL,” I’m sure it will be peeping its head into my life sometime in the very near future.

Colleges/SATs/etc/etc/etc: Yeah. All of that. You know what I mean. And I’m sure Seniors are thinking that I don’t even know…it only gets worse. Which, I’m not doubting. However, it is yet another added to my stress list, another thing that I have to worry about/stress over/think upon during late restless nights when I can do nothing but think about all I have to do the next day. I still have yet to actually register for the SATs, though I have been planning on doing so for quite some time now. PSATs are in October, I think, which will be good for me. The first year I will be taking it more than seriously, I should hope. I would like to take the real SATs in December, if I ever get around to registering. And there are so many schools I need to visit. Hopefully we will go up to NC/SC in November (we have the 10th and 11th off) so I can see Elon, Wake Forest, and others. Yeah. Stressful. Scary. Sigh.

Group Projects: Always a problem. Granted, teachers should feel more free to assign them when we’re juniors and seniors, considering (nearly) everyone can drive. And it certainly isn’t their fault that I live 45 minutes away from the school and (nearly) everyone else that encompasses that category. But, it’s still something highly stressful for me, because either I have to drive over there at some point—therefore wrecking anyone else in my family’s schedules (because I don’t, yet, have a car)—or, we have to find some day after school during which we are all available for a significant amount of time, and even in this scenario, I have to coordinate drivers since, again, I do not, yet, have a car.

Massively huge research papers that are simply insignificant to me and uninteresting: Enough said.

Finding time to call/text/email/talk to in person friends, and by that I mean more than “what time is practice today?” I mean, really email. I’ve been trying to find time for a month now to really email my friend who lives Austria who is on vacation in America (lucky her), but it simply requires too much time that I simply do not have! And this is a terribly sad and depressing fact. Not having enough real time with friends makes me feel like crying. I never called my New Jersey friend Joan on her birthday, even though I’ve called her every year for the past 4 years that we’ve known each other on her birthday. Or at least within a day or two. And this year I didn’t even call her. At all. I thought about it…but there was never a free moment. My other New Jersey friend Elyssa called me the other night during Powder Puff practice, and because she too suffers from overscheduling, we still haven’t spoken. Though I called her, then she called me, and I have called her since then. Though we haven’t actually spoken to each other unless you count the answering machine. Except that hers only says her phone number. So, I get the crappy end of the deal.

I think I’ve reached the end of my list (for now), but I feel compelled to say something further: I’m sure you are all wondering how the heck I have the time to sit down and write all of this down if I don’t have time to think about it in the first place. The answer, simply put, is that I don’t have time. I haven’t even really made time. By writing this blog entry, I am simultaneously putting off both the APUSH and the Chemistry homework that I should be doing. There are just times (that, as juniors, we should all relish in) when we must give ourselves freedom to soar, vent, speak and breathe. Though this wasn’t a very refreshing breath, as it seems to only be making me more stressed, it was a brief step away from reality. Just because that’s what writing is for me. What is writing but an escape from the world? Why do you people think I stop, randomly, in the middle of the day, and write? Alas, I need to breathe sometimes—even if breathing means realizing all the time I have to not breathe.

Thanks for reading. If you did, that is. Since I’m done now, you should all go listen to David Crowder. He’s the greatest example of “escapade writing”. Clearly. There’s no escape like my God.

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
Pictures will be around in later posts…after this week is over. I’ve been trying hard to take pictures of each day (Tacky, Pajama, Powder puff…) and I’m sure you will all appreciate the random shots I’ve gotten. I have some fabulous little candid(s). Oh goody.

as light on the glass is to and fro refracted

2005-09-12T22:24:00.000-04:00

Does anyone know what happens on September 27? Anyone? No? Okay.

I guess I’ll have to tell you myself.

A COLLISION is coming!

A Collision, that is, being David Crowder’s latest and greatest CD which contains—among millions of other stupendous works of art—Here is Our King: an unfathomably beautiful ode to my God that we sang multiple times at Fun in the Son with Mr. Goat himself and therefore is reserved among some of my fondest memories. This is, by far, and without contest, one of the greatest worship songs. Ever. If you visit his website there ought to be at least a sample of it running around somewhere. Perhaps you should have a fun time perusing through the site. It’s my newest addiction, since I’ve banned myself for the next two weeks from AIM. :)

So, be prepared for this hugely stunning catastrophe.

The goat is coming. And he’s even more insane than before.

God bless,
lv

the cross is red; the road is narrow

2005-09-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

We all know the devastation and destruction the Hurricane Katrina has caused not only Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi, but our nation as a whole. And, I want to remind you all (as most of you who read my blog are young, able bodied teenage citizens of America) that there is plenty we can do to help. Don't sit there thinking there's nothing you can do. As I said in Lauren's blog, if donating $20 to the redcross or a disaster organization means not buying that new CD you really want, then so be it. These people have lost everything, you guys. We take so much for granted and it is time for us, as a generation, to step back and realize how blessed we are and how much we can do for others. Get over yourself, get to helping others, and make a difference in this world. Show the people of America what it means to be a Christian teenager in this crazy mixed up world.

.:WAYS TO HELP:.

.:FEMA

God bless,

[edit]

My dad, who owns a produce company, has sent several trucks full of fruit and vegetables over to New Orleans and the surrounding area. He will be sending at least one more truck on Saturday, September 10. The Providence Anchor club is organizing a drive to collect important items that the people are consistently asking for. These are primarily: Diapers, Baby Formula, Bottled Water and Blankets. If you would like to participate in this drive, please bring items to Mrs. Tusek's room (A214) by 2:30 on Friday, September 9. Or, if you don't go to Providence but would like to provide some of the above items, feel free to drop them off at my house (email me if you don't have my home address: lesterva5870@hotmail.com) by Friday as well. These people need our help, everyone! Let's do all that we can.

because i couldn't have said it better myself

2005-08-19T18:15:00.000-04:00

Since I have become entirely consumed by AP Language and the rest of school this year--despite the atrocious fact that I am only a week into my junior year of high school--I have grown quite weary of channelling my thoughts through this blog. However, David Crowder seems to put words together beautifully and brilliantly, so as of now, I'm going to resort to his thoughts as they will hopefully entertain you and put words of substance on my not-so-substantial blog (currently, anyway). So, please allow me to present goat/scientist/jesus freak (literally), David Crowder and his band of words.

---

MY HOPE...
Job 1:1 - 42:17

Do you ever have just one of those days? Or, are you that guy. You know who you are. The one whose mouth is frozen in a perpetual grin. The one that walks outside on a windy day and has paper currency gather at your feet for your discretionary use. The one that is always found by the silver lining that the rest of us have heard tale of and searched courageously and diligently for, only to find you wrapped lavishly in it due, of course, to no cleverness of your own. Well this is not written for you so you can go now....no really, bye....

So now, do you ever have just one of those days? Or, perhaps one of those years? Now I’m not here to vent about our everyday, shared experiences such as the mud puddle that is completely avoidable by the passing car whose timing just happens to be in perfect symmetry to our proximity leaving us with a cool coating of brown mixing vividly with the new white shirt chosen conveniently enough for surely such occasion as this. No I’ll not vent here. I mean what would be the point to even suggest that on other people brown is a neutral even natural tone blending well with their attire but on you and I brown is indeed vivid. That would be pointless and we are at this point comfortably numb to these moments. They are only troublesome in their cyclical repetitiveness, really no more than trivial annoyances at this point.

I recently thought I’d found a loophole in the whole thing. I’ve told every soul I know about it and so I share it with you now. You know how when you and I set our VCRs to record say the season finale of Friends (or Everyone Loves Raymond according, apparently, to our socio/economic status) only to return to the flashing 12:00 or some other unexplainable occurrence that has overridden our double and triple check of programming. Well…enter TIVO. Have you heard of this? It’s incredible! It is a digital recording device that will record up to 30 even 60 hours of television. Through a series of very simple steps, including on screen instructions with visually appealing graphics, you set TIVO to record an entire series of your favorite show. You just click on SEASON PASS and you’re done. Oh, and did I mention it’s hooked up to your phone line making a daily phone call to get any scheduling changes, automatically adjusting it’s recording times accordingly! I am of the strong belief that it is the best invention of this century. Sure the century is new with more to come undoubtedly and TIVO was probably invented in the previous century but I did not own TIVO until last year and my rules allow for this. If you have TIVO you know what I mean. We are family. You and I and TIVO. I mean I talk out loud to TIVO and thank TIVO for making our television watching so efficient and enjoyable. We have a TIVO sticker on our car. But…just recently I returned home with my wife Toni from a pleasant evening out. We sit down in our very large TIVO viewing chair for two, ready to watch a desperately necessary half hour of Friends/Raymond that our dependable never failing TIVO should have ready to go for us. We scroll down the menu and to our delight find the show and push play and “oh my”...“Babylon 5?” “What?” “NO!” “This is impossible!” “TIVO never fails!” “This cannot be!”*

I still have yet to find a loophole.

No, for you and I life is unavoidable. And not just the mud on a shirt or a missed television show. I mean the moments that life really presses in. The moment the weight becomes crushingly unbearable by certainly any other. When tragedy intrudes and we are robbed of any logical proofs that God is good. When the book of Job suddenly seems our unauthorized biography. I wrote the song “My Hope” out of the experience of life and the comfort I found in Job. This book is not concerned so much with the why of life’s eruptions but the faith of a man throughout them. A godly man in possession of a faith that all of his afflictions could not shake. To find a man and eavesdrop long enough to hear him in intimate honesty ask “though You slay me, yet will I trust You?” (13:15) and to see his story answer in a resounding “yes” that can still be clearly and effectually heard today. And to see God show up in all of His majestic glory that pen and paper can express. Chapter 38. Everything that we thought was troublesome or painful or disappointing or hard or wearisome or frustrating or maddening is swept away. We become aware of His constant presence, and full of awe we, along with our concerns, are resized. We are swept away in this wonderful, beautifully glorious storm of who He is. He speaks out of the silence and it’s so terrifyingly plain that we have been right all along. He is in control. Beyond even our wildest imaginings.

“MY HOPE”

Here I am again
In this raging sea
On my knees again
Deep calls to deep

In the roar of Your waterfall
In the wonderful storm of You
May You find me holding on
May You find me true

I put my hope
I put my trust
I put myself in You, in You Lord

Here I am again
In need of You
Broken, beaten
Needing You

Wash me clean
Set me free
Hold me close
And cover me

I put my hope
I put my trust
I put myself in You, in You Lord

Here I am

Job 1:1 - 42:17

David Crowder lives in waco tx where he and his wife Toni watch more than a little less tv than this writing seems to indicate.

*(for this story and more about TIVO you can email me at davecrowd@aol.com )

---

God bless,
lv

eric schlosser who?

2005-08-10T05:33:00.000-04:00

Fast food what? Slaughterhouse where? McDonald's when?

Apparently, Eric Schlosser found these questions important enough to be answered in a 270 page research paper (nice citations, buddy) turned documentary which consisted of redundancy, idiocy, and liberal advertisements. Certainly, this book was not written as a research paper, but it very well might have been. Who's to say a high school senior couldn't have written the same thing (in fewer words, no less) since it contained ill-researched material and a huge amount of "fluff"? In the "What's In the Meat" chapter, I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over...and yet it continued to go on! If Schlosser wanted to write a book about slaughterhouses and all of the problems with them, he should have said so. He certainly shouldn't have disguised it underneath a clever title about the large quantity of McDonald's that America (and the rest of the world, as he carefully points out) consumes every day. The beginning of the book did an excellent job describing (fascinatingly, perhaps) the history of fast food, how it came about, who initially began the industry, and why Americans were drawn to the instant gratification of fast food. There were a few negative remarks (which Schlosser stated as concrete fact without giving any other information) toward republicans that I was slightly offended by, but nothing I couldn't handle. By the "Meat" section, however, it seemed that every other sentence was discussing how the terrible slaughterhouse industry was being encouraged by the Republicans and the sweet, sympathetic little democrats were crying their eyes out and doing everything in their power to stop the awful industry. Sure, republicans make stupid decisions sometimes. But democrats certainly do as well! I just had a bit of a problem with this guy constantly blaming the state of things on republicans, while he simultaneously lifted up the Clinton Administration. Hello?? This guy's either blind or he's a flaming liberal idiot. Unfortunately, I think it's the latter.

The book in and of itself was fine. It was somewhat informative and, at times, quite fascinating. But the redundance killed me and made reading it miserable along with the frequent negative references to the republican administrations, be it Bush, Reagan or Roosevelt (whom he actually supported...but wasn't Teddy the one who was a lot more like a democratic republican?).

Enough said about that.

Orientation was today, and aaaah I loved seeing all my precious people again. I've missed everyone so much and they're the only reason I have to look forward to school. And, I think it is safe to say that Emily Clemons is officially the greatest hugger--ever. Also, some fabulous little things happened that those of you who spoke to me in person will know about. :D

Love to everyone, and I'll see my school posse tomorrow!

God bless,
lv

capturing summer

2005-07-28T12:36:00.000-04:00

Remember this post a while back in which I posted my hectic schedule for the upcoming summer? Well, that schedule is now complete and all I have left to do this summer is the dreadful and simply unavoidable task of summer reading. This assignment consists of reading the Gospel of John, the Book of Hebrews (yes, the Bible) and the Fast Food Nation, plus an essay for each and a test following once school begins. Beautiful. Anyway, I thought I'd share some pictures from the events I discussed previously to show you just how exciting and crazy my summer has been and how sad I am that it is coming to a close.

1. Though it was not a part of my "summer" schedule, Rachel and I had a joined birthday party which turned out to be a blast and a fun 16th birthday memory.

2. May 21st was the last day of school (for those of us who didn't come the following Monday), and as we only had to be there for an hour and a half and it was the exam day for 7th period, Dance Team A minus the seniors and Austin sat in Mrs. Rose's office and watched old recital videos and laughed endlessly. This is a picture we took randomly of Max, Katie, Mallary and me in her office before departing from Mallary for the last time. :tear:

3. I didn't get any pictures of all the graduation festivities which dissapoints me, so the next summer activity that I documented in pictures was my trip to New York. You've all heard about it if you read the entry, but I'm posting a picture of Joan and me because, ironically, that was the greatest part of the whole trip. Taking classes, seeing shows, simply being in New York City was all wonderful. But there was something magical and extremely special about seeing Joan again after so long. Hopefully it won't be another 4 years before we see each other again (And, yes, I'm really that short)!

4. On June 15, John Barnwell Pajcic was born. Unfortunately, all pictures that were taken of me and the baby that day are on Annie's camera, but I will request that she send some to me so that I might post them on here. He's a beautiful baby (6 weeks old yesterday!) with a full head of dark hair and piercing dark eyes. He's a got a wonderful personality and is a great sleeper--except when I need him to be asleep so that I can put the other children to bed. Hehe. It will be amazing to watch those children growing up. I love them so much and they mean the world to me. I was telling Annie the other day how funny it will be if in 10 years or so when Daley's about 16, I'll probably have a kid or 2, and she'll probably be babysitting them! How weird to think about?! Since I don't have any pictures of baby John, I'll post one I took the other day of Daley and Winnie the day after Daley split her head open and had it GLUED back together.

5. June 18, my cousin Ashley and her wonderful fiance Cliff were married in a beautiful ceremony at the Citadel in the Sumeral Chapel in Charleston, South Carolina. I was her maid-of-honor and it was such an awesome place to be. Standing to the side of Ashley as she took her vows was so special, as was handing her a hanky when she asked for it, and holding her 5 pound bouquet and constantly fixing her extravagant train. But more than that, being a part of it, being there for her, was the most meaningful thing. Mom told me I had to make a toast at the rehearsal dinner, since it was a tradition for the maid of honor to toast the bride and groom. I was very hesitant, but Mike and Uncle Bill were wonderful and helped me out a lot by introducting me and encouraging me. But, basically what I told Ashley publicly was that it meant so much to me to have the opportunity to be in her wedding since I didn't have any sisters to share that with. And, though we were never super close because of our 10 year age difference, I did feel an incredibly special bond with her that no sister could ever replace. Most of the pictures of us together are either with Carmen, the photographer, or with my Aunt and other people. So, I have a picture of my Dad and me dancing at the reception and a beautiful picture of Ashley and Cliff dancing as well.

6. Encore Nationals. Wow. 4 days with Competition Team...there's some excitement for you. I would have to say, though, that the greatest highlight of our trip (not the competition, but the trip itself) was the military car wash. I'm still laughing about it. Here's a tidbit of it that we attempted to capture for the world (minus the Providence faculty) to see.

7. On June 25, while I was in South Carolina, Spencer left for Harvard where he would be spending the next 8 weeks, and the first 2 weeks of his senior year of high school. Needless to say, I don't have any pictures of this, but I do have the picture my mom forced us to take to send to Spencer all wearing the Harvard t-shirts that she brought back for each of us (she flew up to Boston with Spencer). Please note that the dog and the rabbit are very much a part of this family photo.

8. Fun in the Son was absolutely the best time I've had all summer. Not the best because we practically lived on the beach, not the best because we had no obligations except to God, and not the best because we were with the people we love and care for the most besides our family...No, the best because we receive one-on-one time with our Father God every moment of every day and it is the most spiritually rejuvenating experience ever. It was my second time, and why I didn't experience the same things as last year, it was not a dissapointment. God constantly reminded me that He was in control of all things--specifically my life (or whether I'm going to be conssious or not)--and I really learned to let go of my desire to do everything my way. This group shot doesn't even attempt to capture the authenticity, spirituality, power and life changing aspect of FITS, but it does show both the sun and the Son reflecting on our brightly lit faces.

9. That about wraps it up for my summer photos, though I do have a little over a week left to capture some last minute memories. But, one last photo I must share is that of my best friend and me at her surprise birthday party which *applaud* was planned very well by her sister, parents and extended family. Unfortunately, I was at FITS so I could not help with the planning, but I was able to take part in it and it was very special to share such a memorable time with Katie. She also came home on her 16th birthday to find a red VW Beetle in her driveway with a huge red bow on it. She felt uncomfortable driving the stick, so she and her family are looking out for an automatic to come their way, but Katie does have a car coming soon and I'm so happy for her! Yipee! Oh, and, SHE PASSED HER DRIVER'S TEST TODAY! Congrats, love. :)

Thanks for listening and viewing the pictures. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I do.

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
I'm getting my braces off tomorrow at 9 am and I'm taking my driver's test at 1:30 pm. Please pray for me; it's a huge day and I'm quite nervous about both of these events! Gracias, amigos y amigas!

my seasonal allergies, if you will

2005-07-13T22:50:00.000-04:00

Kristin, Megan, Grace Anne and I went to dinner together tonight--the first time we've been together in quite a long while. It's amazing to me that we can go so long without seeing each other (specifically Grace Anne) and yet we can all go to dinner and never have an awkward moment. In fact, we had a fabulous time together. On the way home, Kristin and I were talking about how interesting it is to live in a place like Ortega, where there are the cliquey people, and then there are the people like us. Those who go to school together in kindergarten and elementary school, don't see each other for 5 years, go to church together, lose touch because of schedules and such, and yet--we can come back and spend time together like we've never missed a beat. It's incredibly special to me...and I can just picture how neat it will be 5 years from now, when we've all been at college for a few years, and we can come back and see each other as if we've never spent a day apart. Such a different life I live from my mom, who was constantly moving due to her father's job in the military. The fact that I am in contact (or at least on a see-you-remember-you-talk-with-you basis) with people I went to preschool with still amazes her. And I'm truly blessed in that regard.

There are also the friends who I've known for a large majority of my life. My two best friends: Katie, who I've known since I was a year old and met at the neighborhood pool where I still spend time and recently had my 16th birthday party; and Lindsay, who I met over 8 years ago when she came to our new home from her house across the street to greet her new neighbors: "Hi, I'm Lindsay. Welcome to the neighborhood!" she announced, at her tender age of 9. We became friends quickly, even though she had a hard time remembering if my name was Lucy, Lisa or Leslie. She moved after living across the street from me for 6 1/2 or so years. Her house only 10 minutes away seemed like 10 hours compared to a 30 second walk. But, alas, drivers' licenses and cars came along and life resumed to almost normalcy again and, as far as I'm concerned, she'll always be my across-the-street-neighbor and my best friend number 2. I remember my 8th grade year--the year I was cut off from all social encounters except for the high schoolers at Village Dance and the 'dangerous' world of internet paedoephiles (I'm only kidding. They were harmless girls who were inspired and obsessed with Nicole Kidman)--realizing that the only two people I ever considered 'hanging out with' were Katie and/or Lindsay. Katie attending Episcopal, Lindsay attending La Villa and me attending...homeschool...made for some interesting times. But, they were my best friends when I didn't even have other friends, much less best ones. And, thus they will forever stay my best friends. I would venture a guess that they will be in my wedding, and I in theirs. Unless Katie picks out some horridly ugly bridesmaids' dresses. :p

And then there are the friends who I've known for less time, but have gotten astoundingly close to in that smaller time pocket. And it seems, often, that those you grow extremely close to are the ones who you cannot reconnect with after so much time. It's as if there is so much time lost and so many memories forsaken that it would take too long to put the puzzle back together.

So, these whimsical friendships, though they seem to be fleeting, are actually a huge part of my life, and very special. They're not just high school aquaintances that I see in the hallway and wave for good measure, and they're not the ones that I've spent hours pouring my heart out to and sharing my gravest secrets with only to be forgotten and betrayed. No, they're the ones who were there in the beginning, are here in the middle, and will be there in the end. The seasonal friends. My seasonal friends. I love you all. Thanks for always being there.

"To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;

A time to weap,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,

And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace,

And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain,

And a time to lose;

A time to keep,

And a time to throw away;

A time to tear,

And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence,

And a time to speak;

A time to love,

And a time to hate;

A time of war,

And a time of peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

God bless,

'we shall prevail and they shall not'

2005-07-07T22:27:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning to my alarm for the second time this summer. However, my incentive to get up this time was not that I was leaving for New York City. Rather, it was that I had set a goal for myself and I was destined to achieve it. Destiny, if that's what you can call determination. I woke up 10 minutes before seven, got out of bed and brushed my teeth, pulled my hair back, put on soffee shorts and a tank top, threw on my tennis shoes, and drank a glass of water. I greeted my mom in the family room where she was watching her morning dose of the Today show. Noticing her fixated attention, I turned mine to the television as well. Seeing the caption--"London Terror Attacks"--I found myself immediately engulfed with an array of emotions which consisted of fear, fury, and frustration. All day long now, I have been asking myself "Can't these people find something better to do than spend their time killing innocent people?" It was sad for me to see the Londoner's excitement of being the 2012 Olympic host dwindle to anger and fear because of four terrorist bombings. My heart was breaking for them, especially comparing the footage of the bloodied, injured, and dead bodies to that of September 11, 2001. With friends in London, I became worried for their lives and the lives of their loved ones. My prayers have been going out not only to them, but to all of England, and to the British Prime Minister, Tony Blaire as well as our faithful president, George Bush. It was amazing to me to see, in a public announcement that Tony Blair made several hours after the attacks, George Bush standing on the right side of Blaire...and Jacques Chirac to the left of him. Such a sissy and a coward. However, I don't want to get in a political debate. I think it is important, however, that we remember the British in our daily prayers, and all of those who are involved in this terrible crisis. Remember your loved ones, and never forget to express how much they mean to you.

After taking in the devastating news of London, I started out of my first run of...well, ever. Having noticed a pattern (that being that 9 out of 10 regular runners I've met are in fabulous shape), I decided I would attempt to make it a morning routine, at least until dance starts back up again. I would love to have a way to keep up with exercise on the off seasons of dance, and running seems like such an exhilarating and rewarding way to not only exercise, but stay in shape. It was very tolling on my body, as I ran 1/4 of a mile and have scarcely ran a total of 1 mile throughout the entire course of my life. Despite the extreme physical exhaustion I felt when I finally arrived home, it felt good and rejuvenating in a way that I had never quite experienced. Almost like a fabulous dance class...but different in a sense that it wasn't dance at all. This is perhaps the only form of exercise I've ever attempted that wasn't associated with dance. It was a thrilling experience, and one I hope to get used to and more acquainted with as the summer comes to a fast close (unfortunately).

Later on in the day, I spent four lovely hours babysitting for my favorite children. Curry, Winnie, and baby John, as Daley was with her mom going to her dentist appointment and running errands. Curry and I played an aggressive and suspensful game of sword fighting in which Curry was invincible from dying, but Leslie could die when he pressed the sound and light button on his sword. "You're dead, you're dead!" he would cry, as I attempted to make myself look...dead. Then he settled down on the couch for a little bit while Winnie and I convened outside at the swings. We sang a little bit, swang a little bit, rode those electric toys in the grass for a little bit, swang some more, then went inside for Scamper the Penguin (one of my favorite movies growing up which I have now passed on to my favorite children) and lunch. Winnie, after eating, fell asleep on the couch next to Curry, so I carried her to her bed for her nap time that I had frankly forgotten about. So, thank heavens she reminded me (inadvertently, of course). John was still asleep, so it was just Curry and me until the end of Scamper, at which time I went and checked on Baby (of 3 weeks, by the way), only to see him lying contently in his crib with his eyes open and his mouth making little gurgling noises. I couldn't resist picking him up, so I did so, changed his diaper, then took him downstairs and gave him his bottle of breast milk, which he decided he didn't like as much when it was coming from a plastic nipple. :shrug:

Now, it's sleep time. I will sleep restlessly tonight thinking of what is occuring in London and, as result, all around the world. We must be in constant prayer for not only our nation, but our internations and allies. May God be gracious to you during this difficult time.

God bless,
lv

the giving tree by shel silverstein

2005-06-21T16:12:00.000-04:00

Once there was a tree . . .

and

she loved

little boy.

And every day
the boy
would come

and
he
would
gather
her
leaves

and make them
into crowns
and play king of the forest.

He would climb up her trunk

and swing from her branches

and eat apples.

And they
would play
hide-and-go-seek.

And when
he was tired,
he would sleep
in her shade.

And the boy loved the tree . . .

very much. And the tree was happy.

But time went by.

And the boy grew older.

And the tree was often alone.

Then one day the boy came to the tree and the tree said, "Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy."
"I am too big to climb and play," said the boy.
"I want to buy things and have fun.
I want some money.
Can you give me some money?"
"I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I have no money.
I have only leaves and apples.
Take my apples, Boy, and sell them
in the city. Then you will have money
and you will be happy."

And so the boy climbed up the
tree and gathered
her apples
and carried them away.

And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away
for a long time...
and the tree was sad.
And then one day
the boy came back
and the tree shook with joy
and she said, "Come, Boy,
climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches
and be happy."

"I am too busy to climb trees,"
said the boy.
"I want a house to keep me warm,"
he said.
"I want a wife and I want children,
and so I need a house.
Can you give me a house?"
"I have no house," said the tree.
"The forest is my house,
but you may cut off my branches
and build a house.
Then you will be happy."

And so the boy cut off
her branches
and carried them away
to build his house.

And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away
for a long time.
And when he came back,
the tree was so happy
she could hardly speak.
"Come, Boy," she whispered,
"come and play."
"I am too old and sad to play,"
said the boy.
"I want a boat that will take me far away from here.
Can you give me a boat."

"Cut down my trunk
and make a boat,"
said the tree.
"Then you can sail away . . .
and be happy."

And so the boy cut down her trunk

and made a boat and sailed away.

And the tree was happy . . .

but not really.

And after a long time
the boy came back again.
"I am sorry, Boy,"
said the tree, "but I have nothing
left to give you---

My apples are gone."
"My teeth are too weak
for apples," said the boy.
"My branches are gone,"
said the tree. "You
cannot swing on them---"
"I am too old to swing
on branches," said the boy.
"My trunk is gone," said the tree.
"You cannot climb---"
"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.
"I am sorry," sighed the tree.
"I wish that could
give you something...
but I have nothing left. I am just
an old stump. I am sorry . . . ."

"I don't need very much now,"
said the boy,
"just a quiet place to sit and rest.
I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree,
straightening herself up
as much as she could,
"well, an old stump is good
for sitting and resting.
Come, Boy, sit down.
Sit down and rest."

And the boy did.

And the tree was happy.

The End

By Shel Silverstein

God Bless,

here i am and i'll wait in line always

2005-06-16T11:31:00.000-04:00

New York City was wonderful. I had a fabulous time. Took umpteen classes at Broadway Dance Center (up to 4 1/2 hours a day), saw 4 Broadway shows (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Phantom of the Opera, All Shook Up and Sweet Charity) and an ABT Ballet, Raymonda. I saw my friend Joan for the first time in 4 years, went to Little Italy and Canal Street (but didn't buy a purse), put Miss Karen's baby to sleep several times, went to Ground Zero which so unfathomable and has even more impact than one would expect. The extent of damage is just beyond belief. And they've cleaned it up! I cannot even imagine what it must have looked like initially. I took no pictures of Ground Zero, because I couldn't figure out what to take a picture of. The destruction was so devastating. Pictures could not even begin to capture the level of destruction which the empty hole represents.

I've been home since Sunday afternoon, and I'm leaving today for Charleston, South Carolina. Ashley's getting married on Saturday! Wow. Scary to think that will be me before long. The wedding's going to be a blast though; I'm really looking forward to it. Bridal luncheon on Friday morning, rehearsal and rehearsal dinner Friday evening, girl stuff saturday morning, wedding saturday afternoon, reception following, family brunch sunday morning...I'm going to be exhausted! I love being so busy though, as long as it doesn't have to do with school. :)

I have New York pictures that you can see here. I'm not going to take the time to post them all, because I had a lot of trauma with them already. Don't want to go through that again. Just look, and enjoy. I'll be making a video slideshow before long--for those of you who know me well. ;)

I'll be back from South Carolina Sunday evening. Until then, don't have too much fun without me! And, if you're a member of St. Johns youth, be sure to check out the DV8 blog, adminstrated by Megan and me.

Oh, the results of the SAT quiz will be up soon (i.e. as soon as I find the Reader's Digest that it was in!). Which I'm almost tempted not to do, since only 2 of you actually did it, and then you went and checked your own answers. Poo.

Love you all, and hope you're having summers full of blessings and grace!

God bless,
lv

sat prep

2005-05-21T10:47:00.000-04:00

Flipping through the most recent Reader's Digest, I found an article that might be pertinent to those of us eerily close to embarking on our college-bound journey. It's a "vocabulary quiz" if you will, though I'm sure most of my fellow Providence students will be shocked to find how many of these they know, thanks to a particular English teacher. I got 14 out of 16 correct, even having to guess on a few (it helps to pay close attention to the type of speech the words are in) . Post your answers in the comment box (no cheating!), and I will post the correct answers at a later date. :) Enjoy!

"With the SAT just revised to add more reading and writing, those taking the college entrance exam have many new study aids to pick from. We like The Intuitive Learning Co.'s vocabularly shower curtain (tilcoweb.com), the basis for our quiz. So lather up..."

1. enhance (v.) A: to weaken. B: improve. C: undergo, as in hardship. D: sign up for.

2. antagonist (n.) A: murder victim. B: ancestor. C: scientist. D: opponent.

3. diligent (adj.) A: very careful. B: excessively late. C: harmful. D: unprepared.

4. scrutinize (v.) A: to examine closely. B: ignore completely. C: consider skeptically. D: view casually.

5. procrastinate (v.) A: to produce offspring. B: show interest in. C: delay. D: dissappear.

6. disdain (v.) A: to throw away. B: to regard with scorn. C: humiliate. D: disappoint.

7. spurious (adj.) A: authentic. B: reluctant. C: false. D: casting blame on others.

8. empathy (n.) A: pity. B: identification with others' feelings. C: strength. D: mixture.

9. venerable (adj.) A: green. B: stripped bare. C: corrupt. D: resepected because of age.

10. querulous (adj.) A: constantly complaining. B: curious. C: cooperative. D: compact.

11. florid (adj.) A: smelling of flowers. B: bright, as a light. C: ruddy. D: cheap.

12. impute (v.) A: to calculate. B: to pierce with a sharp object. C: attack as false. D: attribute to.

13. evanescent (adj.) A: mild, as with weather. B: brightly lit. C: religious in nature. D: short-lived.

14. superfluous (adj.) A: extra. B: overly proud. C: heavely. D: believing in the supernatural.

15. sagacity (n.) A: history of a city. B: courage. C: wisdom. D: ignorance.

16. perfidious (adj.) A: marked by foul odor. B: treacherous. C: wandering. D: routine, mechanical.

I enjoyed this little sidetrack. I'm sure y'all will think I'm a nerd. :p

Graduation is this afternoon, at 3. I'll be sure to not wear mascara! :tear: Jenna's very nervous about making her speech, and thus I am nervous for her. But, she's good at things like that (it's too bad she can't sing it...). AH, I'm going to miss her a lot. And Heather. And Jessica. And Jacob. And Michael (sorry, I wish I had time to make you more cookies!). I can't believe they're all leaving!! And next year it will be my brother, Jeri, Austin--everyone!! How disheartening.

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
Aren't you guys impressed with my terribly frequent updates? I just have so much to say. ^_^

it's leslie with an S.

2005-05-20T16:08:00.000-04:00

An Ode to Lezlie

By Josh Thompson and Brad Talbert

Lezlie, Lezlie, quite contrary

You walk around like a fairy

The fragrance in your hair

It's so ambrosial and so fair

You and me* go together like the sun,

And a dry desert

You are like the apple of my pie

And the star in my sky

I cannot help but chasing [you]

If you keep refusing [me]

There are many others for your choosing

Like Spencer, Dane, and Jason Kelly

I know you love me though you rarely

Rarely let me believe

On this I conclude my love for you

Now that I am at the end all I want to do is be

Friends

Okay. So, technically, it's not an ode. But it is hilarious. And, for those of you who don't know Josh, Brad, and this whole little situation, there is no real point or substance to this poem. No, I don't like them (Anyone will contest to this, no?). No, they don't like me. The whole thing is a fluff and a joke. And it's SO funny.

I do have to say, though, where the asterik is placed (*), I needed to correct a grammatical error that deeply saddens me. I've been in English class with these boys as Mrs. Sylvia drills these grammar concepts into their pea-sized brains (did I say that outloud?), and they still continue to say "you and me". No. No. NO! "Me go together" makes not a lick of sense. "I go together" sounds soooo much nicer. :D Thanks for the poem, though, guys. It was priceless, and will be going in a frame before long. And thanks to Katie T for helping them out with the idea. ;)

Today was the unofficial last day of school. I guess I'm technically a junior then. How strange.

My vivacious Vicki-tortilla (or, once you get to know her anyway) found my book. The book. The book I've been searching for my whole life. She's made a huge discovery.

And thanks to all of my fabulous friends for making my sweet sixteen the sweetest it could ever be! You guy are awesome, and I am blessed to have you all in my life.

God bless,
lv

'i cannot say i lov'd, for who can say hee was kill'd yesterday?'

2005-05-18T23:15:00.000-04:00

School's cutest couples (as decided by Me):

Emily and her darling Danish.

Emily and Dane (Sophomore/Sophomore)
JuliAnne and Michael (Junior/Senior)
Kalynn and Richard (Junior/Junior)
Lauren and Brandon (Junior/Sophomore)
Lauren and Chris (Junior/Junior)
Karlie and David (Freshman/Freshman)
Mrs. Sylvia and Paul (Erm. Teacher/Husband)

Mrs. Sylvia and her precious Paul

School's cutest should-be couples (if circumstances were different):

Victoria and Mark (Sophomore/Senior) ^_^
Emily and Spencer (Sophomore/Sophomore)
Rachel and Josh (Sophomore/Sophomore)
Jesse and Joel (Sophomore/Sophomore)
Kelly and Bryson (Freshman/Sophomore)
Austin and Milu (Junior/Junior) HAHA!
Katie and Neil (Sophomore/Sophomore)
Katie and Spencer (Junior/Junior)
Erin and Phillip (Sophomore/Sophomore)
Tiffany and Perry (Sophomore/Sophomore)
Emily and Jimmy (Sophomore/Sophomore)

Katie and Neil (Adorable!)

School's cutest used-to-be couples:

Magan and Trey (Senior/Senior)
Caitlyn and Eric (Junior/Junior)
Sarah and Chris (Junior/Senior)
Megan and Coats (Junior/Sophomore)
Katie and Tommy (Junior/2004 Graduate)

So, I was feeling kind of bored and decided that I needed a distraction from studying. This is what happens when my mind gets restless. Haha. I almost went for the "weirdest couples" and "weirdest what-if couples" lists, but I opted out, figuring it would be best not to offend anyone. I'm sure most of you can formulate these lists in your heads, though. Let's think back to those early 7:30 mornings in the car, with nothing to look at but untinted windows...Oh brother. Let me know what you guys think of these lists though, and feel free to comment and add your own. There's just one rule: You are not allowed to "place" me with anyone. ;) Such things do not need to be done in my own personal space. Ha.

Well, I'm off to study for my last two exams of tenth grade. Nothing like Geometry and History! Joy. And tomorrow is my birthday. Eee. :) We're all going to the beach after school which is extremely exciting. I just hope it doesn't rain! :gah:

Have a wonderful end of the week everyone!

God bless,
lv

you and me and all of the people

2005-05-17T22:28:00.000-04:00

Wow. It's been an interesting last two weeks of school. I don't care to recall all of the events, though I will say that I'm glad it's almost over. I officially have four more exams, not including our "dance" exam, in which we will be critiquing our recital pieces--entirely pointless, if I do say so myself. Tomorrow, however, I have English and Bible and Thursday (my birthday), I have Geometry and World History. What fun! Although, the happy thing is, I won't have any exams to study for on the evening of my birthday. In fact, a bunch of us are going to the beach after school, so I'm really looking forward to that.

I don't have anything of substance to talk about. Rachel and I had our party on Saturday which was a blast, though I was sad more people couldn't be involved. But, moving on, we swam for a little while, then ate some really good dinner, then we went boating and tubing (the Townsend's brought their boat and we brought ours), so that was very fun. And the sunset. Wow. The sunset was simply phenomenal. Such evidence of God's creativity and beauty. Then we came back and ate cake and opened presents. I have to say, not to offend anyone or anything, but Josh and Brad's present was the greatest. Truly. I loved everyone's gifts, but...a poem? By Brad Talbert and Josh Thompson? That's priceless. Maybe I'll post it later if I'm feeling generous.

Because I'm in a listing mood, and I'm a bit ... excited and stressed out about all of my upcoming events ... I'm going to post them for you:

May 18: New York meeting, including What Not to Wear!
May 19: The beach with school peeps, and my birthday
May 20: The last day of school (unless you are one of those unfortunate people who is actually going to school on Monday)
May 21: Providence Graduation :cries: followed by Lindsay's graduation party to which I am not invited, but will be watching my little brothers during such
May 22: Michael Kelly's graduation party to which I am invited and quite looking foward to (if not for particular reasons that I'm leaving unsaid to the world wide web, then for the simple reason that Jenna will be there and I will get to see her one last time [and get her to sign my year book] before she goes away to Tennessee. Sniff)
May 23: The real last day of school, which I am not planning on being a part of. There's something else happening on this day, but I can't seem to think of what that is.
Sometime next week: Going to the orthodontist to set my final appointment at which I will be getting my braces off forever and scheduling my jaw surgery for 2 some odd years from now and also going to my dress alteration appointment to get my massive size 2 maid of honor dress altered since it's 5 miles too long and 2 miles too wide. Heavens.
June 2: Rascal Flatts concert. Which I can't go to. :tear: I'm sure Amye and her posse will have a wonderful time though. :)
June 4: Jason Kelly's birthday party. Mmpah. No further comment.
June 6: I'm leaving for New York City with my grandmother and the Village Dance troops. Miss Karen's baby is coming too, which I'm very excited about. Not that I'll have time to spend with him, or even the opporunity to hold him since I'm sure Miss Van and Jennifer will be hogging him the whole time, but still. I love babies. And, Joan and I are going to try to see each other, if she can somehow hop into our crazy plans without disrupting anyone. Haha. We'll just keep it on the down low. ;) Joan's not tall or anything. Hehe.
June 12: I return from New York. How sad.
June 13 and 14: I am volunteering at St. Johns' VBS. I'm really excited about this. I love kids, and I love helping out with things like this. Children make me happy.
June 15: I leave for South Carolina with my mom to prepare for Ashley's wedding! I'm very excited about this trip, because, not only am I going to be the maid of honor in my cousin's wedding (the last time I was in a wedding was when I was like 5, and I was a flower girl) but also because her fiance has the coolest little brother. He's 14 (maybe 15 now) and he's just awesome. You know, he's got those southern hospitality manners, and we can have conversations as if we've known each other forever. And his mom! She's precious as well. I really love Cliff's family. The southerners you know. They're just neat people. ALSO on this day, Annie Pajcic's fourth baby is due. AAH. I'm thrilled. I hope it's another girl. Hehe. Curry needs to be the only boy. It will help keep him schweet.
June 17: Bridal luncheon and rehearsal dinner. :)
June 18: Ashley and Cliff are getting married!
June 19: I return from South Carolina while the Sauls head off to their honeymoon!
June 23: I officially go back to South Carolina with Providence Competition Team for Encore Nationals. This, my friends, is going to be a BLAST. I'm thoroughly excited.
June 26: we come home from SC. And I finally get to rest. Although, sometime after this, Katie and I are taking driver's ed. together with some private guy. Hm. Fun.
July 14: I get my license. Or, it will be my one-year-of-having-my-permit day. Whether or not I actually get my license, I cannot say.
July 17: FITS! AAAAH. I'm SO excited about this. I may even be more excited about Fun in the Son than I am about New York. Simply because I am so anxious for that awesome spiritual waterfall, and I have a feeling NYC won't exactly give that to me. Woosh. FITS is going to be amazing. David Crowder band! :gah: :falls over from excitement:
July 21: come home from FITS. :cries: Also, Katie's birthday. Max's is the previous day.

So, this is all I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure there's more. :spazz: Yes, my life is insane. I'm not even sure there's time to breathe! Well, it's better to be busy than bored. Although, I certainly hope there is time in here for me to read. Because, Lord knows, I have a lot to do in that particular area. Required and unrequired summer reading lists. I'm thinking I'll start with the latter. ;)

Have a beautiful week (hopefully last week of school) everyone!

God bless,
lv

schedule joys

2005-05-11T22:38:00.000-04:00

One week from tomorrow, I will be 16.

One week from Friday, I will be a 16 year old in the beginning of my summer before my junior year of high school.

Three weeks from Monday, I will be going to New York City for the first time.

Five weeks from Saturday, I will be in the maid-of-honor in my cousin Ashley's wedding.

Joy.

Perhaps these happy events will make up for my sucky last week of school.

God Bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
May 4th was Rachel's birthday. May 9th was Dani's birthday. Today was Erin's birthday. Tomorrow is Bethany's birthday. May 15th is Dedad, Grace Anne and Amanda's birthday. HAPPY MAY BIRTHDAYS!

administering poison

2005-05-02T10:10:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago, I finished reading Barbara Kingsolver's The Poisonwood Bible. I had been asked by Mrs. Sylvia to read it, as she was considering it as a summer reading novel for her upcoming 10th grade students. I accepted her request, borrowing her book so I could get started on it as soon as possible. That was about 4 months ago. Needless to say, I read it off and on for 2 months, and then stopped reading it all together. My complaint was not that it wasn't good, or even that it was un-enjoyable. It just seemed slightly pointless? The story appeared to be going nowhere, and it was simply 5 girls telling a story that seemed to have no purpose. By the time I had come to this conclusion, I was on page 150 or so. One weekend, I decided I would try again. It turns out that I had stopped a page too early; I could not put the book down. Something had happened in one page, and it suddenly all made sense. I became emotionally attached to the characters--feeling Ruth May's pain when she fell from a tree and broke her arm, sensing Leah's mature but girlish attraction to Anatole, picturing Rachel's eyes wander to her little cosmetic mirror every possible chance she got, dragging my left side behind me in my sleep and understanding Adah's struggle through life. It was as if I was living in the Congo with the Price family. It ended much too quickly, and I will sit alone sometimes and imagine how Adah is managing in nursing school, or decide what Leah is doing inside her little African hut.

The Poisonwood Bible is the story of Nathan Price, his wife Orleanna, and their four daughters: Rachel, the eldest, Leah and Adah, the twins, and Ruth May, the baby. But, really, it is not Nathan's story. It's the girls' story. Interestingly, each chapter is written in first person by a different daughter, and the opening to each "Book" is written in first person by Orleanna. Nathan does not have his own chapter, his own say, or his own voice in the novel. All that we know of Nathan is what the girls tell us. Their accounts of his discipline methods ("The Verse," in which he would make them start with a specific verse in the Bible and write the next 100 verses that followed it until they ended up at the verse which rebuked and corrected their sinful action), their memories of his temper toward those who disagreed with his evangelism methods, and his holier-than-thou attitude toward everyone, even God Himself. Nathan Price picked up his family from Georgia one day and moved them all to the African Congo, where he had a vision and a plan to convert the tribes to Jesus. There was a fault in this vision: it was all about him. He was so determined to fix the people, to change them, and to make them a certain way that he forgot to allow God to be the ultimate "fixer". And rather than converting the Africans, he deverted his family. They were drawn away from God and the church; because all that they had known of it was their father, and all they had seen of it was the destruction of Nathan and their family. He made himself like a god to them; they were afraid of him, they desired (specifically Leah) to please him, they loved him while simultaneously hating him.

All in all, Nathan's mission failed. He didn't change a single African's life. Sure, when they were praying to their gods and their children were still dying, they would run to Tata Price's God, hoping He would save their children. When their children continued to die, they went back to their beads and stone. God was nothing more than another god to them. Rather than making this fact clear to them, and allowing God to work in their lives, Nathan continued to press and condemn them for their evil (as if he was infallible himself). Not only did Nathan not change a single African's life, but he completely ruined his wife and daughters' lives. Any faith they had had in Jesus before they went to Africa had been eaten away by the killer ants that swept through their village. If this was what God was, they wanted nothing to do with it. If Father was God's definition of a good man, they wanted to find a bad one. Nathan didn't teach about God. He taught about himself; he taught about his selfish desire to fix everything, darnet, if it was the last thing he did. It was the death of him and of his family. He was so concerned about fixing everything, and everyone else, and making everything the way he saw fit that he was blind to what was really occuring. His family was turning away to an eternity of hell, as was his "beloved Congo" and he had all of their blood on his shoulders.

The girls move on with their lives after the year and half they spent in mosquito netting and mud piles; but they are eternally effected. They lack personal relationships with Jesus Christ. They lack the knowledge and confident belief and comfort of the Father God. All they know is Father Nathan; and Father Nathan believed in God, and look where it got him? Nathan destroyed his family with his selfish intent and his stupid desire to fix other people--and the confidence that he could do it himself.

This book encapsulates the esesence of humans today. We are control freaks. We want things particular ways, and we are determined to make it happen. We forget, though, that God has to be in control of these wants and desires, or all that will be produced is an overwhelming amount of destruction.

-

Have a wonderful week, everyone.

God bless,
lv

-

O.A.S.N.
Well, it's not really side note because it pertains to the above. But, I am posting Barnes and Noble's wonderful review of Poisonwood below:

-

Barbara Kingsolver calls her new novel, The Poisonwood Bible, her "magnum opus." And it is—500-plus pages of "the deepest-delving" fiction she's ever written, not to mention a fresh new locale. Packed with themes of cultural diversity, political morality, and environmental ethics, this one, unlike her three previous Southwestern novels, is set in postcolonial Africa. The narrative begins in the relatively tame Belgian Congo of the late 1950s, gains speed in the tumultuous early '60s (with the coup of the independent Lumumba government toppled by the CIA-backed, UN-funded Mobutu government), then branches out several decades in the future. "I set out to ask a very long question," Kingsolver says. "What have we done as a nation, a culture, a people to Africa, and where do we go from here?"

Kingsolver has been waiting her entire life to write this novel. When she was seven years old, her mother and father, both public health officials, moved their family to the Congo for several years. She laughs and says, "I'm happy to say my parents are wonderful people, not at all like the family in the book." There they practiced their medicine while young Barbara kept a journal. She explains the impact: "Living in that part of the world during the formative years of my childhood introduced me to the possibility that everything I had always assumed was right could be totally wrong in another place." Although the story is in no way about her personal familial experience, much of the setting and detail are torn from the pages of that journal. That's not to say she didn't do a heapofresearch; there's an extensive bibliography included at the end of the novel. She also made a number of trips back to Africa and had many experts comment on the manuscript, including the activist, journalist, convicted murderer, and cause célèbre Mumia Abu-Jamal, who gave it the thumbs-up from his cell in the Pennsylvania state penitentiary.

The Poisonwood Bible is the saga of the Price family, a rural Georgia family wrestling with inner demons while living in the small African village of Kilanga. It revolves around Nathan Price, an abusive southern Baptist evangelical minister who forsakes his family on his quest to save the souls of the natives. What begins as a church-sanctioned mission ends in a dangerous battle of wills that separates the Price family forever. The action is filtered primarily through Nathan's four daughters, à la As I Lay Dying, with future-time flashbacks from the mother's point of view. It's through the girls that we learn about Nathan's proclivity toward physical and mental abuse, his lack of fear regarding growing political unrest, and his stubborn insistence that the villagers be baptized in crocodile-infested waters. And through their mother, Orleanna, we find out why Nathan lives with such a heavy and hurtful God-fearing heart: In World War II his entire company died during the Bataan Death March. Although Nathan was honorably discharged, survivor's guilt led him to the jungles of Africa and did not permit him to retreat, no matter what the cost. The price of this intractable attitude is disease, death, and madness.

The novel's post-Congo years, which describe what the Price women do with their lives after the 17 months in the bush, are slightly anticlimactic, but the first 400 pages of this book are stunning and historically accurate to boot. Two scenes in particular are extraordinarily vivid and powerful. The first is a depiction of the biannual migration of ants, a literal sea of ants eating its way across Africa. Kingsolver has seen this natural phenomenon firsthand. "It's thought of as a cleansing. You try to remember the baby and the chickens and let the ants go on about purifying the country." The second happens the day the villagers, plagued by starvation, set fire to the high grass to burn out game. Kingsolver has the ability, in a beautifully painful sort of way, to make these scenes come alive with a single sentence: "Birds hit the wall of fire and lit like bottle rockets."

Although Kingsolver does as few media appearances as she can and ignores media hype with "every molecule" of her being, she has once again consented to do a multicity book tour for her new novel. "I was raised Southern," she says. "It's almost not in me to disappoint people. But what's most important to me is being a mother, a writer, and a responsible member of the community in which I live. The other stuff is incidental. Somehow our culture has dragged authors into this celebrity scene, and it's a place where we really don't belong. I have more to offer if I stay at home and write another book."

The Poisonwood Bible is certainly Kingsolver's most daring and quite possibly her most engaging and provocative outing yet. And if staying at home means another book like it, well, surely the world will survive with one less book tour.

Nelson Taylor is a freelance writer who lives in Brooklyn, New York. He currently writes for Time Out, Paper, Bikini, Bomb, and Salon.

camera shy europeans and their food counterpart

2005-04-10T19:43:00.000-04:00

Our dinner cruise was last night, and it was awesome. I didn't actually have time to eat the dinner because I was mingling and taking pictures, but it was very fun. A lot of people ended up coming, though there were a lot of people who weren't there who were sorely missed. You guys really missed out on an awesome evening...

I can't speak for anyone else, but I had a great time. I danced a bit - mostly when it was the line dances that I know. I don't like to dance to hip hop music unless I'm given something to do; so, I would quietly step away when they played Usher and "Goodies". Not really my cup of tea. But we did Cotton Eye Joe, the Electric Slide, the Macarena, and Max made up and taught a dance to Redneck Woman. That was exciting. :-p When I wasn't dancing, I was taking pictures, talking with Tiff or others who were not dancing, or being endlessly picked on by Paul Sylvia for my smallness. It's too bad I have no wit, and can never come up with something decent to say back to him. Instead, I just tried to push him off the dock, but Mrs. Sylvia saved him. Darn. (Ah, Paul. You know I love you. ^_^)

Everyone looked so beautiful, and I think it's probably safe to say that everyone had a good time. I was very proud of the guys. They (for the most part) did a nice job of dressing well. There were a few who needed a couple of pointers from the "What Not To Wear (to a highschool dinner cruise)" crew, but everyone looked nice and sharp in their ties (which, by the way, they had all been taught by their fathers to conviently throw it over their shoulders while they were eating. Emily and I were slightly amused by this fact).

Oh, I have to explain the title to you. Hm. Well, as I was on my picture taking rampage, I managed to snap one of the servers. One of them said "Hey, please no pictures. I am camera shy," with a magnificant accent. So, I asked him where he was from, he said "I am from JapAn," I said "No way," and he said "No. If you could guess I was from anywhere in the world, where would you guess?" "Ireland, Scotland, Germany?" "No, Manchester, England." Then I asked him if I could take a picture of the food or if it was camera shy, too. Anyway, we had a nice little discussion about England. Sort of. Haha. He had such an awesome accent though, and red hair. Hm. He may have been making it all up...

Ah, a new week is beginning. May God bless you all, and give you strength to get through every moment! :)

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N. [edit]
To see my full collection of photos from the dinner cruise, feel free to inquire about my KodakGallery/Ofoto account. Or, you can visit my flickr account which does not require a username and password: http://flickr.com/photos/lesterva.

'i don't want a childhood; i want to be a ballet dancer'

2005-04-06T23:36:00.000-04:00

Lindsay and I went to the ballet tonight; the Russian National Ballet performed Swan Lake, and it was stunning. I must say though, that the best part was not the ballet itself, as beautiful as that was, but rather, spending time with Lindsay. You know, living across the street from your best friend for seven years and having her suddenly move far (10 minutes is far from 30 seconds, alright?) away from you is incredibly disheartening and upsetting. We still see each other, but our schedules so often conflict, and usually only end up colliding when it comes to dance. So, we had an opportunity to spend time together (since she got her license you know, everything is dandy...she actually drove us downtown!) like best friends again; it was lovely. I've missed her a lot. Lindsay is such an amazing person, and she's the kind of friend who you know will always be there for you no matter what you go through. She's the kind of person who you can always be yourself with, and know that she loves you even more because of who you are. AH, I adore her. :)

Along with my fabulous person, the ballet was excellent. The costumes were beautiful, the props were done very well, the dancing was phenomenal, and the lead was quite good. All in all, it was a magnificant performance and a nice recollection of my previous visit to the "Swan Lake" this past summer in London. It is a beautiful ballet, though I cannot imagine dancing it. I suppose lead wouldn't be that terrible, but the corps has so much strenuous standing around, port de bras, tendus, etc...and they all have to be perfectly together! As I was watching, I was imagining what the artistic directors must have corrected them on numerous times. "B-plus! Tendu! Degaje!" Sheesh. I could never be a professional ballerina.

Wishing you all the best, and a blessed rest of the week!

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
My precious Providence people...Pleeeeease come to the dinner cruise. It simply won't be the same without you! Also to Provies, be sure to buy your tickets for the play (Emily Clemmons has them readily available ^_^); if you purchase matinee tickets, you get out of most of school! Cheers, anyone?

to: the office of Apostropher Royal

2005-03-29T23:18:00.000-05:00

"On a TV news bulletin, the results of a vox pop item were shown on screen under the heading "Grammer Test"--the spelling of which I assumed was a joke until I realised nobody in the studio was laughing. Meanwhile well-wishers sent hundreds of delightful/horrific examples of idiotic sign-writing, my current favourite being the roadside warning Children Drive Slowly--courtesy of the wonderful Shakespearean actor Timothy West. Evidently, this sign--inadvertently descriptive of the dissapointing road speeds attainable by infants at the wheel--was eventually altered (but sadly not improved) by the addition of a comma, becoming Children, Drive Slowly--a kindly exhortation, perhaps, which might even save lives among those self-same reckless juvenile road-users; but still not quite what the writer really had in mind.

"Carved in stone (in stone, mind you) in a Florida shopping mall one may see the spendidly apt quotation from Euripides, 'Judge a tree from it's fruit: not the leaves'--and it is all too easy to imagine the stone-mason dithering momentarily over that monumental apostrophe, mallet in hand, chisel poised. Can an apostrophe ever be wrong, he asks himself, as he answers 'Nah!' and decisively strikes home and the chips fly out. Meanwhile a casual driver in America is quite as horrifying to a stickler as it is in the UK. Childrens home; readers outlet; please do not lock this door between the hour's of 9AM and 6:30PM.

"Either this will ring bells for you, or it won't. A printed banner has appeared on the concourse of a petrol station near to where I live. 'Come inside,' it says, 'for CD's, VIDEO's, DVD's, and BOOK's.'
If this satantic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes causes no little gasp of horror or quickening of the pulse, you should probably put down this book at once. By all means congratulate yourself that you are not a pedant or even a stickler; that you are happily equipped to live in a world of plummeting punctuation standards; but just don't bother to go any further. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word 'Book's' with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker.

"Everywhere one looks, there are signs of ignorance and indifference. What about that film Two Weeks Notice? Guaranteed to give sticklers a very nasty turn, that was - its posters slung along the sides of buses in letters four feet tall, with no apostrophe in sight. I remember, at the start of the Two Weeks Notice publicity campaign in the spring of 2003, emerging cheerfully from Victoria Station (was I whistling?) and stopping dead in my tracks with my fingers in my mouth. Where was the apostrophe? Surely there should be an apostrophe on that bus? If it were 'one month's notice' there would be an apostrophe (I reasoned); yes, and if it were 'one week's notice' there would be an apostrophe. Then 'two weeks' notice' requires an apostrophe! Buses that I should have caught (the 73; two 83s) sailed off up Buckingham Palace Road while I communed thus at length with my inner stickler, unable to move or, indeed, regain any sense of perspective.

"Part of one's despair, of course, is that the world cares nothing for the little shocks endured by the sensitive stickler. While we look in horror at a badly puntuated sign, the world carries on around us, blind to our plight. We are like the little boy in The Sixth Sense who can see dead people, except that we can see dead punctuation. Whisper it in petrified little-boy tones: dead puntuation is invisible to everyone else - yet we see it all the time No one understands us seventh-sense people. They regard us as freaks. When we point out illiterate mistakes we are often aggresively instructed to "get a life" by people who, interestingly, display no evidence of having lives themselves. Naturally we become timid about making our insights known, in such inhospitable conditions. Being burned as a witch is not safely enough off the agenda. A sign has gone up in a local charity-shop window which says, baldly, 'Can you spare any old records' (no question mark) and I dither daily outside on the pavement. Should I go in an mention it? It does matter that there's no question mark on a direct question. It is appaling ignorance. But what will I do if the elderly charity-shop lady gives me the usual disbelieving stare and then tells me to bugger off, get a life and mind my own business?

"On the other hand, I'm well aware there is little profit in asking for sympathy for sticklers. We are not the easiest people to feel sorry for. We refuse to patronise any shop with checkouts for 'eight items or less' (because it should be 'fewer')...When we hear the construction 'Mr. Blair was stood' (instead of 'standing') we suck our teeth with annoyance, and when words such as 'phenomena', 'media' or 'cheribum' are treated as singular ('The media says it was quite a phenomena looking at those cheribums'), some of us cannot suppress actual screams. Sticklers never read a book without a pencil in hand, to correct the typographical errors. In short, we are unattractive know-all obsessives who get things out of proportion and are in continual peril of being disowned by out exasperated families."

-

I could share plenty more with you all, but I'm afraid I'm being terribly obsessive. These are select excerpts from Lynne Truss's brilliant book, Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. It's amazing; I'm afraid I have finally found someone who relates to my obsessive compulsive disorder over grammar and punctuation. It is such a delight to read this book--I feel as if I could have written it! My mom found it and bought it for me, thinking I would enjoy it, though I had heard many a thing about it from Mrs. Sylvia and Victoria who both described it as "Your book". My mom thought it would be perfect for me, though I had never mentioned it to her before. Great minds think alike, I suppose. Or, my mother knows me all too well. ;)

I'm sure this totally bored all of you, but I felt it my obligation to share it, because it brings me such joy and excitement. Reading this literally brings me to tears simply from laughing so hard. And, alas! An explanation for those who just don't know the proper way to use apostrophes. Not to mention "there" (there, they're, their), "to" (two, to, too), "your" (your, yours [no apostrophe!], you're), and "its" (its [possessive], it's [contraction]). They should make every person who reads, writes and speaks English to read this book. It's incredible!

Alright, I'm leaving now. I'm not having a very good day/week/month, etc...but I didn't feel like dumping that on everyone. Instead, I decided find something to be ebullient about; I think I've been somewhat successful. :)

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
After all of that rambling, you still can't decide if you're a stickler or not? Take the quiz; I got a 100%! ^_^

come on babe why don't we paint the town

2005-03-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

Chicago was amazing!

Rachel and Emily met Mamaw and me at the American Cafe, where we had nervous and/or gay waiter who was simultaneously "flirting with" Emily. He made us very uncomfortable. I think maybe his boss was considering firing him, so he was under a lot of pressure. Or maybe he was just wierd. "Bye Emilyyyy." :-p

We walked over to the theatre where we stood around for a little bit waiting for the doors to open. We went in right at 7:30, as soon as the doors opened, and found our seats--in front of the balcony on the center line of the stage. They were wonderful seats, though personally, I would have liked to be closer (i.e. not in the balcony) so I could see the actors' faces more clearly. Though, I shouldn't be complaining. I should feel bad for those who are literally blind and simply see little blobs of black moving around crazily.

Rachel, Emily and I were contemplating for several minutes whether or not their was an orchestra. We noticed, however, that the orchestra pit was open, and filled with chairs on which people were sitting. A few minutes after our discussion, Emily noted some music, and said it was the orchestra practicing. "That's just background music," I said matter-of-factly. "Nope. They're warming up." The curtain came up, and there was the orchestra - fully outfitted on the stage, outlined by a huge gold frame which was hung at a diagonal angle and it made the orchestra look as if it was a painting that had come to life. The play had limited proppage, but the orchestra was the primary backdrop and it was all incorporated into the play. At one point, Roxie Hart went over the the conductor, showed him a newspaper with her name on it, forced him to read it, and took his stick--attempting to conduct the orchestra herself. Very impressively, they stayed perfectly on tempo, and it made me wonder why they needed a conductor at all. I thought it was extremely clever though--the incorporation of the orchestra with the cast. The conductor even had a speaking part or two, introducing some of the numbers.

The whole play took place in front of the elaborate orchestra set up, and each corp cast member doubled, tripled, even quadrupled as various parts. From prisoners, to club dancers, to reporters, to court observers (and a one man jury), they did it all. And, not only did they switch characters, but a fascinating element was that they never switched costumes from the very beginning. So, kind of odd, but the reporters were wearing the same thing that the club dancers were wearing. In other words, Chicago was full of women in fish nets and 10 inch high heels and men in black leather pants and mesh shirts. So, very little props, almost no costume changes ... and the show was nonstop singing and dancing.

So, was it better than the movie? Well, having seen the movie first, I went into to see the play with that as my expectation, because it was all I knew. At first, I kept comparing the show with the movie. Finally, I had to separate the two deliberately so I would stop anticipating something only to be disappointed when it didn't match the movie. I don't think one is better than the other. I think the play is phenomenal, and if you like the theatre, you'll love the play. I think the movie is awesome as well, but it's a film. It's not the theatre. And they did try very hard to give the feel that it was on stage. But it's not. They are both completely different spectrums, and you can't really compare them. However, I think that the play was more entertaining in terms of the singing and dancing--because it's Broadway. And, you can't top that. Not even with a movie; not even with Catherine Zeta Jones and Renee Zellwegger. It's still a movie and it always will be, and Broadway will always be Broadway.

I'm presently at my mom's office, and anxiously awaiting her to get done with whatever it is she needs to do so we can go the the Town Center. Hm. I wonder if we're always going to call it the Town Center of if we'll always call it the new mall. Or the mall. Or St. Johns. :thinks: Anyway, that's where I'm going when my mom's done. Hopefully I'm going to find a sweater, shoes, and jewelry to go with my dinner cruise dress. :) Hope everyone's having a good Saturday!

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
I don't have any set plans over spring break, though there are some in the making, so let me know what you guys are up to. I'd love to hang out with some lovely people. :) Maybe...the beach when it warms up? ^_^

can't go over it . can't go under it . oh no . have to go through it

2005-03-18T18:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I made it through the week guys! I didn't think it possible, but God held my hand and let me through it. Boy am I glad to be through that icky mess.

Spring break officially begins today, and I'm starting it off with a bang, literally, by going to see Broadway's production of Chicago--primarily about a woman, Roxie Hart, who murders her husband with a gun (>>there's the bang for you<<) and sings and dancers her way out of prison alongside Velma. How exciting! Haha. Mamaw, my grandmother, is my escort and Rachel and her older sister Emily are also coming with us. So, it should be a fun night. I'm bringing my camera with me. :)

The juniors are in DC and the seniors are in New York. According the Austin, the juniors are having a great time. I haven't talked to any of the seniors, but I would hope and assume that they are having a blast as well. I am highly anticipating my trip to New York this summer! June 6 (happy birthday em) cannot come fast enough. :eek: Oh, speaking of New York (and Broadway), I wanted to ask some of your opinions. While in NYC, we usually go to see 4, maybe 5 broadway shows. I've compiled a list of those which I personally desire to see, but I was wondering a) if anyone had opinions on my picks and b) if anyone had any other ideas and suggestions. You can go to Broadway.com to see which shows will be playing this summer. I don't know how many of you are into the Musical Theatre thing, but it's very exciting. Here is my "suggested list of Broadway musicals to see in New York City, summer of 2005":

Wicked
The Phantom of the Opera
Little Women
The Light in the Piazza
Disney's Beauty and the Beast
Disney's The Lion King
Fiddler on the Roof
The Producers
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Steel Magnolias (not a musical)
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (not a musical)

Okay, so, I'm a nerd. What can I say? Anyway, let me know your opinions! I'd especially love to hear from those of you who have actually seen some of these. ^_^

Hope you're all doing wonderfully, and if your spring break is just beginning...maybe it be a safe and blessed week off!

God bless,
lv

and so it begins

2005-03-07T19:24:00.000-05:00

And so it begins...the dreaded days of exams. I don't even understand the point of third quarter exams anyway. It's just another excuse for us to be stressed, to be tested, and to be disappointed when you don't do as well as you had hoped, despite your studious efforts. Oh yes. Welcome to exam week. :sigh:

I had an interesting day. I think it's one of those weeks, because, I was feeling slightly emotional and irritable. From the beginning of the day, I was ready to go crawl in a corner and hide. I was completely unfocused, unmotivated and uninterested in anything anyone (including teachers -- which is a really bad thing the day before exams begin) had to say. The only good part of the day was lunch with Erin, Amye, and Lauren. That's gotten to be quite wonderful, especially when we sit outside. Sitting outside puts me in a good mood. It was very nice out today too--very quiet and tranquil. Those girls make me laugh. They're very fun to eat lunch with. :) We have some very interesting conversations about :cough:coachmartin:cough:. Ahem.

We also got our artist essays back today in English .. and it put me in a bitter mood. I'm not even going to attempt to explain to everyone why, but just accept it. Haha. Just for the record, getting good grades is not always as fun and dandy as it may seem. They come with their price as well. :humph: I'll leave that free to personal interpretation.

So, I have to get through this week. Just this week. After this week, I'll be done with this hip hop dance that Katie and Max are absolutely brilliant at but that I want to run away and cry everytime it's mentioned (okay, I'm exaggerating). After this week, I'll be done with all of these review guides and 45 minute exams. After this week, I can look forward to going to see Chicago with Mamaw, Rachel, and Emily. After this week, I might be able to finally get caught up with my confirmation workbook that Ellie and I haven't really been working in much. After this week, I should be able to breathe a little bit again. I can't wait for this week to get over!

Well, I should run and squeeze in a bit of studying time before dance. Exam week is a bad time to be unmotivated, aye? I wish you all a good week, and, for my sake and anyone else's who is experiencing trauma similar to mine ...

"Life may not be the party we thought it'd be,
but since we're here, we might as well dance!"

Thanks to Victoria for that uplifting quote, by the way.

God bless,
lv

O.A.S.N.
Emily and Tiffany: You guys are amazing. Thanks. :-D

can anybody fly this thing before my head explodes

2005-03-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

I haven't had much to blog about in the past few weeks. I've been a fairly boring person leading a typically boring lifestyle. I have, however, been thinking about a lot of different things in these boring moments I've had recently. Mind you, boring does not imply that I have nothing to do--there is always something more to be done. There is rarely time for me to breathe on my own, much less sit and be bored. Boring moments, however, come with stress, and with boring moments comes time to ponder (for me, anywho).

We just got done reading H.G. Wells's Time Machine, and are being tested on it tomorrow. I strongly disliked the book, as I have never really taken much of a fancy to science fiction. It was slightly adventurous and exciting seeing as Mrs. Sylvia was teaching it, but the book itself was "dreadful" (to put it in Tiffany's terms). I found quite a few loops holes, which Mrs. Sylvia said many scholars, if you will, had publicy pointed out and scoffed at the many mistakes which were hidden beneath the surface of Time Machine. Needless to say, the movie (from the 1960's; not the God-awful one from several years ago which only made everything worse) was not any better--in fact, it may have been worse. I don't want to undermine Wells, because he must have been quite a brilliant man. He had a vision for this book, but I think it was much clearer in his head than it was on paper. So, besides the dull writing, the list of loop holes, and the unclear situations, the concept was very interesting. The Time Traveller, or Wells if they are one in the same, is very pessimistic about the future of mankind which is one of his incentives to travel through what he refers to as "the fourth dimension". After his travels, his pessimism is only increased because of the tragic fate that had come upon the world in the year 802, 701. Humans have apparently evolved through the course of the years into small, dwarf like creatures called Eloi who spend all their days laughing, bathing and playing in the sun. There is no intellect, no knowledge, and no depth. They are entirely vapid and apathetic. He visits a library, and finds the books there are only held together by the dust -- one touch, and they would crumble instantly. His frustration increases when he finds that the human race has actually been split into two drastically divided creatures: not only the oblivious, shallow Eloi, but also the pallid, disturbing Morlocks. I won't ruin anything more for you all who haven't read the book, but, I wanted to discuss the Traveller's pessimism and the reason I think he is entirely wrong.

What is the point of all of knowledge of today, and the inreasing advances we have every moment in technology and intellect of any importance if, in the end, it will simply be decaying in a rotted library? And, from a Christian perspective, why would God have even given us the opportunity for advancement if it was simply going to be useless to us in the future? We must embrace knowledge and intellect, as the narrator of Time Machine does. Despite the Time Traveller's incredible stories of futurity and the decay of knowledge and technology, the narrator (whose name I think is mentioned once as Hillyard--once more than any of the other human characters' names are mentioned) chooses to look upon the future of mankind with optimism and hope, represented by the unidentifiable species of flower which Weena, a friend of the Traveller's from the dark futuric age, gives to the Traveller and which he brings home to show as a token of his travels. I am so thankful that this awful place which the Traveller went to and experienced is not what we have in store for us. I can say this with authority, because I know God has created us as wise, brilliant people in His image. When that is gone (when we are gone), there will be no more earth. There certainly won't be fuzzy little teddy bears and skinny white apes running around controlling it. If this was Wells's outlook on life, and the eventual fate of mankind, I pity him greatly--for he must have lived a dreadful life drinking a half empty glass of water.

Whew. I'm sure you all were incredibly interested in all of that nonsense. :-p But, I had to think of something to talk about! Tomorrow is Friday, and I am so grateful for it. Next week we have quarter exams, Friday the 11th we have a half day, Monday the 14th through Thursday the 17th we have Stanford Achievement Tests which means half days, and no regular classes, Friday the 18th we have off, and Monday the 21st through Friday the 25th we have Spring Break! What a fabulous schedule I have to look forward to. :) Lots of down time; hopefully I will get some good quality reading time and maybe even become well acquainted with the vacuum which needs to come visit my bedroom! Haha.

I wish you all a wonderful Friday, and an exciting weekend. And, for those of you who have been there for me recently, and have been wonderful listeners (you know who you are ^_^), I appreciate it more than I could say. Thanks. :)

God Bless,
lv

~On A Side Note~
Congratulations to:
*Jericha: Miss Congeniality (love the poem, by the way. It was fabulous)
*JuliAnne: Most Photogenic and 2nd runner up (Ah! Your sign language was beautiful--very heart felt and meaningful)
*My should-have-been-big-sister, Austin: Most Talented and 1st runner up (You danced so beautifully, and nearly moved me to tears. Ee; I was so proud of you!)
* Katie: Miss Providence 2005-2006 (We probably couldn't have a picked a more sweet, gentle-spirited person than you to represent our school!)
*And to everyone who competed in the pageant: You all were so wonderful, and each of you deserve to represent the school invidiually. You don't have to be Miss Providence to make an impact. Go out, and be the people that I saw on the stage Friday night. Live the way you told the audience you want to live, and be a light to God's kingdom!

if grown-ups could laugh this slow

2005-02-19T16:22:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know I began my last post talking about Melanie, snow, and Austria...but I just have to do again. She sent me pictures, and they literally brought tears to my eyes. Being in Epcot made me miss Europe enough, and then to see these amazingly gorgeous pictures - wow. I really have to go back soon. Anyway, I'm going to share these pictures with you all:

Austrian snow, and snow covered mountains

A snowy hill

There is also a picture of Melanie's city in Innsbruck, but for some reason, it's not uploading. So, when I put it online, I'll add a link - because I think it's the most gorgeous little city ever, and I want ya'll to see it! :-p

Oh, there's something else I wanted to share with everyone. A couple of posts back, I found this article by Tony Pierce about blogging, and I posted it because I found it humourous and informative. Well, this guy came and commented on this post of mine, telling me that he was flattered, and appreciated my grammatical corrections. :-p Anyway, I go to his website again and am looking around ... and it seems that he's really more than just a random guy with nothing better to do than blog. Okay, the second part might be true, but he's not really just a random guy. He's actually written a book, How to Blog, and I think, based on his bloggings, that he is very intricately involved with very important people in the blogging/computering/internet world. Anywho, I just found this extremely interesting - and if he ever comes back, please be nice to him. He has the power to shut down my blog and everyone else's with it. ;) Haha.

So, Epcot was an absolute blast. I'd never been there, along with lots of other people in my "walkaround group" so we had a fun time getting oriented. 10 of us walked around the park together, and it was awesome. At first, I felt very strange being at Disney World without my parents. Then, as the day went along, I realized that I wasn't sure I could ever go back to a theme park without friends. It was nice, because we weren't required to have a chaparone with us - in fact, Mrs. Dill flat told us that she didn't want to see us all day except for the 2 check-in times that we had. So, we were able to be "big kids" and make our own decisions and have a lot of fun. I mean, even waiting in lines was exciting! We were playing concentration, trust falling, making jokes, laughing, slipping; it was awesome. And, the only real conflict we had was deciding where to eat. But, what else is new? Haha. Italy was crowded (or saw we thought...), France didn't open until 5, the Pub food looked wierd, Mexico was too far away, we had eaten at China for lunch...so we just went to the Electric Umbrella and had hamburgers, hotdogs, sandwiches, etc. Ah, good ol' America. Anyway, I've compiled a list of some sort...

Liza, Erin, Rachel, me, Katie, Andrea, Victoria and Katie in front of the infamous fountain.

10 Reasons to go to Disney World/Theme Parks without your parents and with friends (in no particular order):

There are no obnoxious plans: "We have to do this organized. First, we'll walk this way and do this, then wa'll walk toward this and on the way do that, blah blah blah." You get the picture.
You are willing to wait in a line for 90 minutes, because you decide that that's the nature of theme parks, and there's not much else to do. Where as parents will get grumpy because they want to cram in as much as possible in the wee little space of time you have to be there.
You can have fun in lines. Rather than being in a line and arguing with your little brother about how much longer it's going to be based entirely on assumption, you can spend your time laughing, catching up, making jokes and skipping each other all the way through the tangled web of massive people - be it for 90 minutes or 1 minute.
You can eat as much junk food as you want (or as you can afford, since you don't have your parents standing beside you dishing out all of their cash) without someone nagging at you: "You don't need that. You've already had a cookie. You should eat healthy..." Give me a break. We're at Disney World! 99.9 percent of their profits come from the food we stuff in our mouths. You don't want Disney to close down, do you? :eek: Okay, sorry.
You don't have to go into all the boring places and read about all the boring historical stuff that we learn about in school. You see, parents have forgotten about all of that stuff, and for some reason, they feel the need to re-teach themselves all of this information that went in one ear and out the other, and they attempt to teach it to us, though we already know all of it. Haha. I had to laugh though when the group of us didn't even pay any attention to the buildings unless it had an "attraction" sign beside it. There were a few places I wanted to go in, i.e. the British castle, but it wasn't a ride, so we weren't allowed. :-p But, it was nice to not have parents trying to shove all of this information into your face.
You can spend as much time as you'd like in the gift shops. But, once again, not nescessarily spend as much money, because you don't have your money tree with you. Of course, whatever money you do have probably came from that tree, anyway. It's just limited at the present time (Mine was limited to $40, which barely covered my 2 small meals).
You can goof off and play with all the random toys without having parents yelling at you to "not touch something unless you're going to buy it." Blah. What fun is that? We tried on all sorts of hats and took pictures with them. That never happens with parents - unless you're going to buy the hats.
You can sing as loud as you want, and the only people who are annoyed are the ones around you, who usually don't have the nerve to ask you to shut up.
You can ride the rides as many times as you please.
You don't have to "be in [anyone's] sight at all times." Though a buddy system is a good idea. :-p

Well, I just thought I'd share those thoughts with you, since that's what a blog is for - I think. We have a competition tomorrow, and we practiced hard today, so hopefully that will go well. I'm also hoping to meet with Ellie, my mentoree, tomorrow for the first time, so I'll need lots of prayer for that! I'm praying that it goes well and that I'm an example for her. It will be a challenge, because she is 15 as well, so I really need to work on being her mentor, but keep her on the same level, since, she basically is (besides being in 9th grade). The scary thing is...she's probably taller than me! Haha. Anyway guys, I would appreciate prayer for this. Let me know if there's anything I can pray about for you all. Whether you're struggling with something, you need healing, whatever the case may be ... I would love to pray for you, so please let me know what I can do.

Have an awesome 3 day weekend, ya'll. :)

God bless,
lv

P.S. Yesterday was Spencer's birthday! I didn't see him at all :( But, if you guys see or talk to him, please give him some birthday love. ^_^

P.S.S. Another note: Blogger has updated its commenting structure, so you can now enter your name and webpage instead of posting anonymously, and you don't have to be a member of blogger. So, that way, I won't have a bunch of anonymous posts that aren't really anonymous! Fabulous, aye? I think so. Let me know if you computer illiterate people (no offense -- just stating facts :-p) have some trouble with this setup. :)

snow . sleep . stupor

2005-02-05T04:43:00.000-05:00

According to Mel, it's been snowing in Austria for the past three days. I am insanely jealous. Well, maybe not insanely, but how incredibly beautiful must that be? Those gorgeous mountains just covered in pure, white, snow. I've seen the mountains in North Carolina covered in snow, and that took my breath away. I can hardly imagine a snow-covered Austria. I asked her to take some pictures for me...^_^

Well, I'm still very haggard and ill. I went to school yesterday, and hardly lasted first period. By third period, Katie was dragging me to the office and forcing me to call my parents. I didn't get a hold of them until I tried again at lunch ... and Dad came to pick me up at the end of sixth period (though I had been sitting in the office the whole time). Funny thing, I realized that of the 5 periods I went to, I slept in 4 of them; I never sleep in class! I guess everyone told the teachers that I was feeling very sick though, and they probably figured as much since they would never dream of seeing me ignoring them in such a rude manner. Mrs. Dill (First period - the class I didn't sleep in) even asked me to babysit for her this weekend; it would be Marissa's first baby-sitter ever! I had to regretfully tell her that I was sick. We were both sad. :( In Bio, we watched a movie and were quizzed on it, but I couldn't even focus. I felt brain fried. English, after I took the Vocab quiz (Got a 100%; my only accomplishment of the day), I put my head down and fell asleep. Mrs. Sylvia came over and was petting me on my head. :-p Brad says, "Could you please refrain from petting Leslie?" Mrs. Sylvia then replies, unimpressed by Brad's use of our easiest vocab word this year, "No, I will not. The poor lamb is ill." Sweet Mrs. Sylvia. Where would the world be without Mrs. Syvlias? There certainly wouldn't be many lambs around. After third, we went to Class Meetings and Clubs, both of which I slept through after being prodded by several teachers. Mr. Starkweather: "Trying to sleep, aye?" I looked up at him so pitifully, whilst my friends caught him up on my stupor state. "Ah, you don't look so good," he finally said before walking away. I just nodded. Bible, we watched a movie, and despite Mr. Overman's pre-movie speech to not sleep, talk or do other work, I fell asleep anyway. I couldn't keep my eyes open. As I was leaving, he gave me a hug and told he hoped I felt better. Atleast he understood. Then, in math, we had a sub, and we were doing some complicated concept that Mr. Cally never taught us ... so I just slept. Coats told Mrs. Hedges that I was sick, and she apparently let me sleep. By lunch, I felt so ill, I went and asked Spencer if he could take me home. He walked me to the office, and befriended Mrs. Rizzo. It's amazing how much nicer she is to me when Spencer's around! Jeepers - I should just take him with me everywhere. So, I called Daddy and got a hold of him, and he said he would come as soon as possible. I went and finished lunch (though I was too ill to actually eat anything), got my stuff together, and sat in the office for 30 minutes. I was so relieved to see Dad walking in the doors.

So, that was my day yesterday. After that, I came home, layed on the couch, and watched movie after movie after movie: The first part of Elizabeth (which finally came from Netflix on Thursday!), Paparazzi (which was extremely dissapointing), and Shall We Dance (which I found terribly boring, but it could have something to do with the fact that I felt awful and could hardly focus). Mom came home with a large soft-chocolate ice cream from Dairy Queen for me, so the 10 minutes I spent eating that I felt awfully good. It's very soothing to the throat. The fam watched TV for a little bit, and then everyone fell asleep (I was having trouble falling asleep because my sinuses were awful), so I took the portable DVD player to my bedroom and finished Elizabeth. Actually, I dozed off, and finished it this morning. It's a fabulous film! Granted, there are some disturbing moments, but it's so accurate to the 1500's. Cate Blanchett was brilliant as Elizabeth; she vividly and articulately brought her to life. I enjoyed it immensely, despite my awful state.

I woke up this morning, ate some toast, then went back to sleep for 2 hours. I want to sleep more, but it's so hard to fall asleep because my nose is so stuffy and my head is so heavy.

I only hope that you all are feeling well, and aren't under the same weather I seem to be stuck in. Have a fabulous weekend!

God bless,
lv

ugh

2005-02-03T21:16:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or is everyone and their mom sick? :sniff: I feel like my head is swimming around in a fish bowl. Oh, the joys of sinus infections. I know 3 people with mono, 2 people with bronchitis, classes have been half empty because so many kids are out sick. Is our world infested?

If you're sick, I'm officially issuing you a Get Well Soon Card. :-p

God Bless,
lv

[Sorry for the short post, I'm just hardly up to using my brain at the moment.]

blogging for dummies

2005-01-29T20:02:00.000-05:00

I came across this article yesterday, and I found it quite humorous and interesting. I wouldn't nescessarily heed all of Tony's advice, though he has a lot of good things to say. He seems to be a "pro-blogger", if there is such a thing. I've edited most of it, because Tony seems to have a problem with using apostrophes. And, anywhere you see a missing number or an ellipsis (...), that means that I have cut out some of Tony's words. And where you see [brackets], I have changed his word to a softer, less harsh one of my own or added new words where I felt nescessary. ;) Anyway, I wanted to share this with you all, because I think a lot of people should take some of what he says and apply it to their blogs. Especially the part about changing my cursor to a butterfly. Ugh. I can't stand that! Once again, I will remind you all that I don't agree with all that he said. What I don't agree with, however, I find humorous. Hopefully it will give you a good laugh as well. :)

~

how to blog by tony pierce, 110

1. Write every day.

2. If you think you're a good writer, write twice a day.

3. Don't be afraid to do anything. In fact, if you're afraid of something, do it. Then do it again. And again.

5. Don't tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. If they find out and you'd rather they didn't read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.

6. Have comments. Don't be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. Eventually they'll write in there. If people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop; they probably will.

7. Have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. Sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.

8. Don't worry very much about the design of your blog. Image is a fakeout.

9. Use Blogger. It's easy, it's free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. Besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.

10. Use spellcheck unless you're completely, totally keeping it real. But even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.

11. Say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. Then say something else. Then keep going. And when you're done, re-read it, edit it, hit publish and forget about it.

12. Link like crazy. Link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. Don't be a prude. Linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. And especially link if you're trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. It lends credibility even if you're full of [crap].

13. If you haven't written about...religion and politics in a week, you're probably playing it too safe, which means you probably [messed] up on #5, in which case [you should] start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.

14. Remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. The second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. Similarly, nobody gives a [crap] what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat's [butt] what song you're listening to. Write something Real for you, about you, every day. (See, I slightly (personally) disagree with the part about "what song you're listening to", because, :shrug:, I kind of enjoy finding out what songs people are listening to, what mood they're in, etc. I think it's interesting, and sort of sets up for their blog post. It almost gives you an idea of who they are.)

15. Don't be afraid if you think something has been said before. It has. And better. Big whoop. Say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. Just let it out.

16. Get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. If you're embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, don't be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. It really is just a blog. And hits really don't mean anything. You want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. Similarly, use Technorati, but don't obsess. Write.

17. People like pictures. Use them. Save them to your own server, or use Blogger's free service. If you don't know how to do it, learn. Also get a Buzznet account. Several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. That's a good thing.

18. Before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. You are using a computer and the internet, [bad stuff] can happen. No need to lose a good post.

19. Push the envelope in what you're writing about and how you're saying it. Be more and more honest. Get to the root of things. Start at the root of things and get deeper. Dig. Think out loud. Keep typing. Keep going. Eventually you'll find a little treasure chest. Every time you blog, this can happen if you let it.

20. Change your style. Mimic people. Write beautiful lies. Dream in public...cry scream fight sing...and don't be afraid to be funny. The easiest thing to do is whine when you write. Don't be lazy. audblog at least once a week.

21. Write open letters. Make lists...Lead by example. Invent and reinvent yourself. Start by writing about what happened to you today. For example: today I told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.

22. When in doubt, review something. There's not enough reviews on blogs. Review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.

23. Constantly write about the town that you live in.

24. Out yourself. Tell your secrets. You can always delete them later.

25. Don't use your real name. Don't write about your work unless you don't care about getting fired.

27. Nobody likes poems. Don't put your poems on your blog. Not even if they're incredible. Especially if they're incredible. Odds are they're not incredible. Bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put your dumb poems on there. whatever.

28. Tell us about your friends.

29. Don't apologize about not blogging. Nobody cares. Just start blogging again.

30. Read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.

Courtesy of tonypierce.com

~

God bless,
lv

who will chase the clouds away

2005-01-28T20:18:00.000-05:00

I wish that I could say
The world was one and fighting was a fable
And that greed would turn the table
I wish for peace
I wish for peace

I wish that I could see
A world that can be free with no more crying
Oh but some of us are trying
I wish for peace
I wish for peace

Who will hold the children near
If there’s a painful tear
Who will chase the clouds away

Why pretend that there’s no God
Why pretend that there’s no love to wrap around you
I speak justice to confound you
I pray for peace
I pray for peace

Michelle Tumes

~

Hello Friends and my family,

Peace.....those are the words echoing in my heart. Peace, yet not the words echoing in the world around me. So, let me tell you how I got to peace. To begin, I arrived safely back in South Africa December 29th at 10:00 p.m. Only to realize I had not been accompanied by my luggage, which was still in Amsterdam. So I drove home, only to get to sleep around 1-sh. I then woke at 5 to meet up with my team which was waiting for me at 6 to leave. Little did I know about my next two days. We, the leaders of c-kruis 2005 were going on a hike/adventure/rough bonding type experience. So we all left and funny enough the whole point of the hike was to only have the clothes on your back, so that solved my luggage crisis. During this two day hike we walked, sweat and burned in the sun, slept under the stars on the cold ground, and ate our live chicken (we were given as an extra team member) for food. This hike definitely served its purpose. Ok, so then January 1st came and the teams all arrived and now it's their turn to experience bonding for four days while we, the leaders, sit back and drink our coffee and watch (one of the glories of being at the top I've learned to appreciate). So the teams survived their bonding torture we call ADVENTURE CAMP which took place in Caroliena - beautiful farm land full of God's special touch. After A-Camp we all arrived at our beautiful new training grounds call Donker Hoek, which means Dark Corner. Interesting connotation seeing as we are the light of the world.

So training has been happening for an entire month already. We had our first show/dress rehearsal on Wednesday which I, myself, co-produced with my other producer, Elonie. It was a lot of hard work, but also a lot of fun. The first team started their dress rehearsal at 7 pm and finished at 12 am. Then my team started at 12 am and finished at 5 am. It was one of the longest nights of my life. But I am young and I have the whole weekend off at the moment, so I intend to catch up on some sleep. I have been so busy since I've arrived. I am doing alot of choreography for all the new shows, as well as co-writing and touching up on all the last minute preparations. As well, I started back with taking Ballet and will take my last exam in May. I am also busy counseling and shepherding five young first year ladies, which has been a huge challenge for me. I am learning how to live and breathe integrity. Yet, since I 've been here and jumped into this whirlwind life of mine, God has placed a peace in my heart. I often times feel I don't spend nearly enough time with Him like I used to and yet He just reminds me that He's with me all during my day. He attends every class, rehearsal, and conversation or meeting I'm in. So this peace has been my stability in my too-busy lifestyle I've chosen. Please know I do find time to miss home. I think of you so often. Often when I am somewhere watching something too beautiful to describe, I often miss you. I wish you could see what I see, and experience what I experience. To end off, I want to tell you that my passion, my dreams, my zealous love for the Lord are being fanned by his hand. The Lord is busy fanning this flame, which is extremely exciting because my vision, I believe, is in the process of being reformed again to include more of my future. This has been good for my spirit and soul. Thank you for your time. Please excuse my delay in getting this to ya'll. I trust your lives are in the Lord's will as is mine. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and continual love and devotion of my love for dancing and the Lord! May you be blessed through this year and further! Thank you again!

Dancingly His,
MASH

~

I received this lovely email from my sister today, and it's just amazing how much I needed to hear every word that she said. Peace is exactly what I'm not feeling at the moment, but she gives me such inspiration and a desire to strive for the peace that she has searched for for so many years. It's amazing to me that the same girl who often expressed to me her fear of leaving home at the age of 16 is now at peace about her future. Mash has reminded me that the peace of resting in the comfort of God's arms and being able to completely abandon yourself to His will is the greatest peace you will ever find. I just thought it was awesome how much this email spoke to me, and how perfectly on time it was ... I wanted to share it with you all in the hopes that you will be inspired by her persistence and faith.

God bless,
lv

bringing you back home to stay

2005-01-27T20:33:00.000-05:00

Each day, my Bible teacher writes a thought on the board that requires some intellectual brain power and some Bible meditating. I always look forward to the few simple words that will surprise me each day. When I really like them or get a lot from them, I will copy them into my planner and save them for personal use. I thought I'd share some of the most recent with you ...

Prayer is the exercise of drawing on the grace of God.
:: John 6:37

Jesus will be your Savior without your behavior. If you've allowed Him to be your Savior, He'll change your behavior.
:: Acts 20:21

When you live in the joy and peace of abandonement, you have the confidence that things will work out for your good God's way.

The difference between discouragement and encouragement is determined by whom you rely on - God or man.

God will do whatever is required to draw the impurities out of you And allow you to face them, so that He can deal with them And you can be set free.

These are yours to interpret. Take them however you wish, and hopefully you'll get something out of them. :)

My day today has been fairly uneventful. Went to school, which wasn't too incredibly exciting. I have either a test or quiz in every single class tomorrow excluding dance. What else is new? Haha. English was fun, though. Tiffany, Emily and Kalylan did their George Orwell project ("It's time for TEK Live!"). It was cute :-p, and very informative. Parts of it were spazmatic, but it got the point across, and it kept me awake. I was ready to doze off in geometry, and I could hardly grasp the concept Mr. Callahan was trying to drill into our brains because I was trying so hard to keep my eyes open. Stephanie, Jenna, Jason and I tried to (in a roundabout way) figure out our schedule for Senior Slave Day tomorrow, but I don't think we've come up with anything yet. Hopefully we'll figure out something soon! After school though, Jenna's taking me out to get ice cream, coffee or something of the sort, just so we can hang out and chat. I don't think Jason's coming, because he's leaving to go out of town or something. Anywho, that should be fun. Katie and Austin might come as well. Perhaps I should make them pay for some of Jenna. :-p

Uncle Richard's funeral was today, in Orlando. Had I not missed school on Tuesday, I would have been able to go, but I couldn't afford to miss another day. I'm already having make-up work issues. :sigh: But, I talked to my mom and she said it was a beautiful service. Then ... "The pastor read your letter." "My letter? What letter?" "The thing on your journal ... the online thing." "Oh! :eek: Why?" "Because it was beautiful!" Haha. Yeah, so, that little blurb a few posts back about Uncle Richard was read at his funeral. Kind of sweet - but odd at the same time. Makes me wish I had been there. ^_^

Well, I better head out and study for all of those stupid tests and quizzes I have tomorrow. Katie's coming over to hang out with me too while the rest of my family is coming home from Orlando (and Spencer is ... who knows where!). Hope you all have a great weekend!

God bless,
lv

When every boat has sailed away
When every path is marked and paved
When every road has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back home to stay
Josh Groban

exhaustion . fatigue . overtiredness

2005-01-27T01:47:00.000-05:00

There's a point during the year when one feels as if one cannot go on anymore, as if life needs to come to a pause and everything would have a chance to catch up with him, as if the world is spinning and one is standing there watching time pass one by.

This is generally referred to as exhaustion.

Not simply being tired, however much of a factor that is. But, even more so, physical, emotional, spiritual and mental exhaustion.

I've reached that point.

I actually entertained the thought that perhaps I have mono, which I quickly denied, knowing that I could not deal with such a diagnosis at this stressful period of my life. However, I have come down with a case of exhaustion, and it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I was slipping last week before LADF, and that just completely tore me down. Now I feel as if I'll never be able to get back up. I'm almost prepared to spend the rest of my life in this state of exhaustion. It's strage though ... as I sit here discussing how exhausted I am, I still cannot bring myself to carry myself to my bedroom, take a shower and climb into bed, despite the ticking time clock (10:41...42...43...). Because, I know that whether I go to bed at 10:30, or 12:30 won't really matter at this point. I don't think it's possible to be any more exhausted than I already am ... so might as well endulge my exhaustion. :blink: Fascinating way to look at it, don't you think? Just when I think I've come to a place where I can rest, something else comes up, and the torturous cycle begins again. I feel as if I'm running on a hampster wheel ... not in the way people usually mean it, saying that they're life isn't going anywhere ... I just feel like my hampster wheel has popped off of the track and it's rolling all over the place and spinning out of control; it's unstoppable. Kind of like my schedule. It's endless. I could practically tell you what I'm doing every day through July.

Well, now that I've rambled about my exhaustion which I'm sure none of you were interested in ... I'm curious to know if anyone knows or understands this level of frustration that I've reached as well. Please, share your stories. Perhaps we can start a support group or something. Haha. Well, hope you all have a good, restful rest of the week.

God bless,
lv

laughter in the silence

2005-01-25T00:06:00.000-05:00

Uncle Richard can make anyone laugh. He always makes silly little comments that will take you a few seconds to catch onto, and then you will find yourself rolling on the floor, laughing, while he simply stands, amused by your reaction. He is the one who will tell a joke and then observe everyone else laughing at it - but he never cracks a smile himself. Inside though, he's bursting with joy.

Was bursting with joy, that is.

My great-uncle Richard died today. He was someone I wasn't very close to in person, but he was always close to my heart. I never knew him extremely well, but the few times we did spend together were some of the most special memories of my life. He was always happy, and he always had something uplifting and funny to say. He could make a random stranger on the street smile if he so wished. His life was always about serving others - very rarely did he think of only himself.

A few weeks ago, I told you about my grandparents' 50th anniversary party. Uncle Richard was my grandmother's brother - and he surprised her by coming. He had told her he wouldn't be able to make it, but he showed up, and I have never seen Mamaw so happy. He truly made the party for her, and the rest of us. It was the greatest surprise of the evening, and it is even more special now that he's gone (That was the last time any of us saw him). I think the Lord knew his time was coming, and He blessed us all with that one last chance to spend time with him. Thinking back, I wish that I had spent even more time with him. Now that he's gone, there is so much I would have loved to ask him and talk to him about that, for now, I simply have to keep to myself. In my life, I have been very blessed and have not had to experience death very often. I think the death of my great-uncle has impacted me the most. You always hear people say that when someone dies, they wish they could go back and change things, or make more of an effort. I never understood that until now. I knew Uncle Richard, but I wish I knew him even more. He was a wonderful man, and someone who left a beautiful mark on my life, despite the few moments we spent together.

Thank you, Uncle Richard, for teaching me that laughter is a wonderful thing ... especially in the silence of pain. While it is sad to see you go, we all know that you would never wish us to mourn for you - but rather to rejoice in the time we spent together and in the times we can look forward to spending with you in heaven. Your joy has brought this family through so much, and it is clear that you were a wonderful little brother to my grandmother. You have truly touched us all.

God bless,
lv

P.S. Please, everyone pray for my grandmother. She is taking this the hardest of all. As I said, Uncle Richard touched my life so much, and I barely knew him. I can only imagine what an impact he had on his sister.

through dark there is Light

2005-01-23T21:17:00.000-05:00

But the voice of truth
Tells me a different story
The voice of truth
Says 'do not be afraid'
And the voice of truth
Says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The voice of truth
Casting Crowns

I just returned from the L.A. Dance Force competition in Daytona. While everyone on my team had previously been to atleast one other competition, I had never been to one before. As my teacher said, I was the "virgin competitor". Haha. It shocked me. Not only was the tecnique, for the most part, incredible and unbelievable, but ... the sin and filth that was present was astonishing. Literally, (excuse my french, but there is no other word to use) whores walking around; dancing in bra and underwear (spandex shorts, but might as well have been underwear). One of the teams did a dance wearing white pleated skirts that didn't even cover their butts (the black spandex was sticking out), black knee highs with bra straps hooked up to lacy underwear (that could also be seen out of the skirt), black zip hoodies that then unzipped only to reveal white shirts with their bras hanging out. I don't know if I've ever been so disgusted in my life. I wouldn't have worn that outfit, much less done the dance that they did for all of the money in the world. Even sicker was the fact that their moms were there, chearing them on, encouraging their daughters to flaunt their sacred bodies to the world. I felt sick after the fact and was hardly in a mind set to perform. But then, I started thinking about the words of the song of our first dance (I've posted them above for you) and I realized that us performing that dance was more than just the Providence Competition Team dancing to a Christian song. God had placed us there to be a light in this incredibly dark place. We had the opportunity to be used by the Lord in a most amazing way. And, I have to tell you, He truly blessed our efforts. Compared to these other competitors (despite their raunchy display, they had excellent technique - i.e. 5 pirouettes effortlessly, a group of 15 people doing 10 or so fouette's perfectly together...are you getting the idea?) we were on the lower end of the spectrum. Granted, it was our first time competing as a team, and most of these studios have been competing for years. But, even so, despite our lower level, we managed to score high enough for a silver medal (though we weren't in the top 5) with Voice of Truth, and we placed third with our jazz dance, Car Wash. I thought that was an incredible blessing, and a goal that could have only been achieved with the Lord as our dance partner. If you all had seen our competitors ... you probably wouldn't believe that we placed as well as we did. To be third out of this group is astonishing. But, how awesome that the Christian, clean, polite dance was awarded and I can only hope that we were a ministry to the people and judges that watched us. You know, our technique may not be as good as the rest of them, but we have something far more important, and we were dancing for someOne far more important. Because our attitude was simply to glorify the Lord, we were content with whatever He allowed to happen. And He exceeded our expectations, greatly.

I said all of that just to say that Christians, especially Christian dancers, are so few and far between these days. And in this sin-infested world, we must always be a reflection of Jesus Christ in the way we dance. I feel so blessed to have been able to share the Word of God through dance - a medium that most people watching that evening could understand. My prayer is that it truly touched someone, and has moved someone one step closer to finding their ultimate goal in life; because, life isn't all about the Platinum medals that you get in a dance competition, and it's not about how perfect your technique is or how together your fouettes are...but rather, it's about glorifying the Lord with every breath, every movement and every step, and I believe that is exactly what the Providence Competition Team did last night. Take hold of every opportunity to be a light for God's kingdom, and get to know the incredible blessing He gives you in return. It surpasses any medal that a human can give you. The silver medal each of holds in our hands is miniscule compared to the award of being a minister of God's amazing love. :)

God bless,
lv

closing time

2005-01-03T12:47:00.000-05:00

What a holiday season it has been! Hectic, fun, exciting, boring, crazy, stressful ... just about everything you could possibly imagine. I'm not going to bore you with all of the details, but overall it's been great; spending time with family, having time to actually sit down and read a good book, waking up every morning and just being able to reflect on everything God's done for me rather than jumping out of bed to get ready for school. Of course, this lovely reality will end tomorrow, when I go back to waking up at 6 every morning, when I stay up until midnight or so doing homework because I decided to read my new book first, when I sleep on ice and heat from dance pains, and when the routine is so drilled into my head that I could pratically be blindfolded and still make it through the week in one piece. Life is good, isn't it? Haha.

My grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary was on December 27th, and we (my mom and my aunt, really) gave them a huge party on the 29th at the Yacht Club. It was beautiful, and very fun reflecting on old memories. It's amazing to me that they have been through so much together. They were married when they were 19 and 20, and it's just simply incredible to me that they have spent over 50 years in each other's lives. There aren't many people today that make it to their 50th anniversary, and there will be even fewer in this generation ... people marry much later nowadays, and divorce more frequently. But, what a blessing and an example to witness this milestone for my grandparents. They have taught me so much, and seeing them come to this place in their life is just further reason for me to take what they say to heart. My Mamaw and Dedad are two of the most wonderful people I know, and I am so blessed to be a part of their lives. They have truly taught me, simply by living, that love isn't love until you die completely to yourself, surrender to God, and then share God's love with each other. Happy 50th Anniversary, Mamaw and Dedad! :)

Their wedding, 50 years ago.

On the other end of the spectrum, a old, dear friend of ours called yesterday and announced that he was engaged to his girlfriend of 3 (or so?) years. It's a wonderful thing, sort of. No one really likes Meagan, but I guess if Scott loves her - that's all that matters. :) He also told me that he cut his blonde/orange/white afro looking thing down to 1/8 of an inch. I'm still trying to picture Scott Weinstein bald and it's turning out to be a very wierd image. He went on to tell me that he's been traveling all over the country, doing a variety of commercials, magazine advertisements, music videos, etc... and his most recent project? A small speaking part and a background dancer in Paris Hilton's Pledge This! "Not a very clean movie," he says. "Well, Paris Hilton isn't much to speak of." "No, and neither is her talent. But my part ... I'm pretty good in it." :-p Haha. Count on Scott to mention that. So, it was good to hear from Scott after so long, and just thought it was funny ... the opposite ends of 50th anniversary and newly engaged (Christmas day, by the way). Congrats to you, Scott - and Meagan as well. :-p

Well, I must head out. There is so much to be done before I go back to dance tonight and school tomorrow. Hope you all have a blessed 2005 full of truth, beauty, freedom, and above all things ... love, in Jesus Christ!

God bless,
lv

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

2004-12-23T12:35:00.000-05:00

This is an email my mom sent to me, and I thought it was so beautiful. I wanted to share it with you all...

"When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps witha nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other. My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE. When I saw "G," I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i.""God, "u" and "i" dance." "God, you and I dance." As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life. If God has done anything for you in your life, please share this message with someone else, for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards; so let's continue to pray for one another.... and...I HOPE YOU DANCE!!!"

-Unknown

May God dance with you this holiday season, and beyond and may you be reminded every day of His neverending love and new mercies.

God bless,
lv

books, books, books

2004-12-16T18:19:00.000-05:00

I've been extremely stressed lately, and I've been really aching to relieve my stress with a good book. Mrs. Sylvia gave me a notecard with all of her suggestions :-p but I would love some more! I'm thinking I might do this often...not just with books, but music, things to do, favorite stores, etc... Anywho, today I'm doing books, and I would love to know what you're reading, what you like to read, what you reccommend, and all of that good stuff. Real quick, a few of my favorites:

:: A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly (Published as A Gathering Light in the UK)
:: The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
:: The Company by Robert Littell

There are so many others I could suggest, but those are on the top of my head. I'm currently reading The Company very, very slowly. It's 900 pages, and I can only handle about 4 pages a night because it puts so much information into your head. But it's good. It certainly keeps me occupied.

But, please post your suggestions. There's hardly anything I like more than a good book on a stressful day to sit down and curl up with (with a mug of hot chocolate by my side of course :-p). Hope you are all having a good holiday season. Only 9 more days until Christmas! :stresses:

God bless,
lv

joy story

2004-12-08T12:39:00.000-05:00

Well, Kristy told me that she had the videotape of this play we did at church 6 or 7 years ago. The Joy Story, written by Nancy (...can't remember her last name) at First Baptist, is a Christmas play about a toy store, with toys that tell the story of Jesus. It's a really sweet script; it genuinely tells the greatest story of all time. :) I was Raggedy Ann, one of the main parts...and I had lots of lines (I have no idea how I ever memorized all of those) and a big solo. I still remember all the songs from it, though. I was singing along while I was watching it. :-p

The song I had to sing was the pivotal part of the play; it's more or less the invitation for salvation - the true message of Christmas. I, of course, haven't watched this since I did it so many years ago, but watching it this morning...I got all teary eyed! I have matured so much in my spirituality since I acted in this play, and as many times as I rehearsed, performed and just randomly sang the song, I don't think I ever actually took it to heart. The lyrics are so beautiful, and true, and they just really spoke to me. I'll share a piece of the song with you - although you won't get the full effect, because seeing a little girl with a Raggedy Ann wig and a heart apron on singing this song is just precious. ^_^

In every heart
There is a longing
God calls to you
A still small voice
In every heart
There is a need to be His child
He's asking you
To make a choice

Long before this moment
God was loving you
Jesus died to show you
That His love was true
If you will receive Him
New life will begin
His heart seeks your answer
Won't you let Him in

"But I've already made so many bad choices!"

He knows everything about you
And loves you just the same
And even now He's whispering
He's whispering your name

In every heart
There is a longing
God calls to you
A still small voice
In every heart
There is a need to be His child
He's asking you
To make a choice
He gave His life
To bring His love
To every heart

The lyrics may be childish, but they're true. I encourage you all to take them to heart. :)

God bless,
lv

P.S. Those pictures that you see, I attempted to literally take them of my television, so that's why they're funny looking. hehe.

if I were

2004-12-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

Ah, Alabama was wonderful. It was great to see Mash and her family again. We spent one day out at a farm with friends' of theirs. The family has 5 kids, a bunch of dogs, horses, cows, and four wheelers. We had a lot of fun. :)

I can't think of much to say or talk about today...but I saw this on one of my friend's blogs, so I thought I'd steal it just for fun. Feel free to fill it out and post it as a comment with your own answers! ^_^

If I were a month, I'd be: April. The weather's usually fairly decent, then, atleast in Jacksonville, and the colors are bright and cheerful.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Sunday.
If I were a time of the day, I'd be: 1:00. More or less the middle of the day, and the time when I'm usually the most perky.
If I were a planet, I'd be: Pluto. Smallest person, smallest planet. Works for me. :-p
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: A seahorse. They're interesting.
If I were a direction, I'd be: East. Then I'd never miss the sunrise.
If I were a sin, I'd be: :eek: That's a wierd question. I wouldn't be a sin at all!
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Sweet Tea! :blink:
If I were a tree, I'd be: Bonsai. They're so cute!
If I were a bird, I'd be: A parrot. They're gorgeous-and they talk a lot. :-p
If I were a tool, I'd be: A hammer. Then I could just hit people when they were annoying me. :shrug:
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: A daisy. Innoncence, simpilicity, beauty...
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Cool enough to wear jeans but warm enough to wear shorts.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: A unicorn, I suppose.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: A guitar.
If I were an animal, I'd be: A dog. They get to lay around all day and be cuddled at night! What a life!
If I were a color, I'd be: Red. It's so bold and vibrant!
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Overwhelmingly happy and joyful.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Green beans.
If I were a sound, I'd be: The waves crashing...
If I were an element, I'd be: :blink:
If I were a car, I'd be: Mini Cooper.
If I were a song, I'd be: Freedom.
If I were a movie, I'd be: Ever After.
If I were a book, I'd be: The Bible!
If I were a place, I'd be: Geneva, Switzerland.
If I were a material, I'd be: Cotton or cashmere.
If I were a taste, I'd be: Sweet.
If I were a scent, I'd be: Clinique Simply
If I were a word, I'd be: Onomatopoeia
If I were an object, I'd be: A camera.
If I were a body part, I'd be: Eyes. ^_^
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: A cheeky grin.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: English.
If I were a shape, I'd be: A Circle.
It's neverending. If I were a number, I'd be: 47. Don't ask.

Hope everyone is well and having a great beginning holiday season!

God bless,
lv

The Pitman kids, The Carnes kids, and the Sheally kids (minus Stedmond - he was out hunting).

give thanks . with a grateful heart

2004-11-24T02:25:00.000-05:00

Hey all. :)

I just wanted to inform those of you who care that I will be traveling tomorrow to Alabama to my sister. We won't be back until Sunday evening. Feel free to email me or call my cell, though I'm not sure how much time I'll be spending on the computer and phone. I will hopefully be filling up my time with Mash. :-D

In the mean time, I wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving, once again. And for those of you who don't celebrate Thanksgiving (Mellies :-p), you have a wonderful week, and discover all that you have to be thankful for.

Really quick, in honor of the holiday, I wanted to compile a short list of the people who have significantly touched my life that I am eternally thankful for and grateful to (in no specific order) ::

My parents :: for their neverending love, and for their discipline, even though I hate it at the moment - I know I will appreciate it in the long run.
My older brother, Spencer :: for being an example, and someone to talk to - and for driving me places.
And my little brothers, Harrison and Leighton :: for putting up with me as their big sister, and for being the greatest little brothers anyone could ever ask for.
My grandparents, Mamaw and Dedad :: for always doing things with a willing heart, and for reminding me to live life to it's absolute fullest.
Katie :: for always being there, and always giving me something to laugh about
And her evil big sister Austin (Happy 17th birthday, tomorrow!) :: for becoming my friend, despite our previous issues :-p and for going ahead of me and testing the waters - then giving me the results. ;)
Lindsay :: for always providing a wonderful laugh and smile, and for being there to talk to when I need it most
Tim :: for being a great friend, first and foremost, and for giving me awesome hugs when they're greatly needed
Jesus Christ! :: for loving me enough to suffer more pain than any man could have endured, simply so I could have a home in heaven ... for Your unconditional love and ever faithful friendship.
Renee Graves :: for your spiritual guidance, and continual example of the Proverbs 31 woman.
Catherine and Jennifer :: for your loving acceptance of me and my family
Bethany :: for leading me through the murky waters
Melanie :: for being a part in my dream-come-true, and for always having a great word (or several words) of advice
Eva :: for being a leader, and for reminding me to do things while I have the chance, whilst I regret not having done them
Jo :: for being completely random and making me laugh, no matter what the circumstance
Amanda :: for showing me by example what it means to be a happy person, and for taking the time to talk with a silly 15 year old about all of her problems. ^_^
Amber :: for caring about me, and always having a smile on your face; for showing by the example of your life how the love of our Lord, the love of family and friends, and the love toward others, can overcome all obstacles
Megan :: for teaching me about leadership, headship and sacrifice - and for being brutally honest
Kristin :: for having problems that seem to coincide with mine so that we can discuss them together :-p and for not letting our friendship dissapear with time.
Rachel :: for reminding me of who I am in Jesus Christ, and for being a great person to talk to
Amelia :: for always making me smile, for listening to me ramble, and for endulging my Alias obsession and taking a part in it, eventually. :-p
Emily :: for making me laugh, even during the worst situation, and for teaching me about Nascar, John Deere, and shot guns.
Max (believe it or not :-p) :: for putting me in my place and always being there to listen
Phil :: for giving me the opporunity to share my experience of God's love
Mrs. Ward :: for all of my sixth grade memories, and those beyond
Mrs. Sylvia :: for helping me become the person I want to be, and for making me smile even when it was the last thing I wanted to do -- for having confidence in my ebulliency
Grant :: for welcoming me into your family, and making me feel loved
Mollie :: for always finding the right words to say, and for being an example to look up to and admire
And last but not least...my big sister, Mary Ashley :: for touching my life in millions of ways, for teaching me so much about life, love, and lipstick, and for being the sister I never had.

I love you all more than I can say, and this list is of course incomplete! I could never possibly name every person who has impacted my life - but each and every one of you deserve thanks. All of my friends at school, dance, church, and just random places - my life would not be the same without you. Thanks to all of you for playing a part in my life. :)

God bless,
lv

thinking about our younger years

2004-11-22T23:31:00.001-05:00

Sixth grade...Do you remember your sixth grade year? I remember it like it was yesterday. I can still name everyone in my class, although there were only 14 of us. I have so many wonderful memories of that year, and some not so good ones as well; but, the good always outweighs the bad. Because my little brothers go to the school that I went to in sixth grade, I have been able to keep in touch with my teacher. We always love to see each other - each time it's like a reunion all over again.

Today, we didn't have school ... we have the whole week of Thanksgiving off. So, I figured it would be a good time to go in and visit with Mrs. Ward for a whole school day (something I had been wanting to do for some time). Wow. That was exciting. Her face lit up the whole room when I walked in, and despite my surprise and un-announced arrival, she completely went with it and we had a great time.

There were some bittersweet moments. We recalled some special times the first graduating class of Grace Episcopal had shared. And, what was really fun was seeing how many things hadn't changed. BUGS (Behavior that is Ultimately Great and Successful) was still in effect, Chance (If you're in your seat when the bell rings, your name goes in the apple and if you name is drawn, you've won a trip to the Treasure Chest), The Treasure Chest (filled with awesome goodies), "Give Me 5" (In other words, shut up and listen), No Whining (Philippians 2:14), etc, etc, etc... I enjoyed taking part in all of these fond memories once again - and it placed me right back in sixth grade. I even found my desk! -- I had written "This was Leslie's 6th grade desk" on the inside of it. :shrug: Apparently, my little brother always tries to get that one. hehe.

It was interesting though, the contrast of looking back on my sixth grade year, and at the same time, looking forward to my possible career. I have always talked about elementary education as a job; as a child I joked about it, but as a teen, I can truly see myself as a teacher. It was so exciting interacting one-on-one with the students and the teacher. Mrs. Ward actually let me teach the 5th graders their math lesson (She teaches 5th grade math and science). Needless to say, I had a great time with that. A small part of me (A very, very, very small part) even entertained the idea (for a fraction of a second) about homeschooling again, and just coming in every day and teaching with Mrs. Ward! :-p Nah, I love school ... but I really enjoyed spending my day in a classroom filled with rowdy abnoxious 5th and 6th graders. I can honestly see myself doing that every day. ^_^

Well, we're leaving on Wednesday to go and see my "sister", Mashley ... and I'm ecstatic. I honestly cannot wait. Just thinking about seeing her makes me emotional. I saw her for a day or so in January, but it feels like it's been eons. We're staying in Alabama until Sunday, because she's going to speak at her church - and she really wants us there for that. Anyway, if I don't talk you all ...

HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING, and remember the almighty ONE we are to be thankful to, and the Ultimate Reason we have to be thankful. :)

Love you all. God bless,
lv

P.S. Oh! I must brag ... my fabulous boyfriend competed in a dance competition this weekend, and placed First Runner Up. :grins: Just wanted to publicly embarass and congratulate you, Tim. :-p

believe

2004-11-12T02:36:00.000-05:00

Today, Amelia and I went and saw The Polar Express. :tear: For me, it was more than just a child's animated movie. I know this sounds silly, but it truly was a childhood memory come to life. It was a lovely film, and I thorougly enjoyed it. I told melia that I was going to make my children watch it every Christmas. :-p It captures the spirit of Christmas just as the book does and will make anyone smile, young and old.

It's funny, because I remember years ago Lindsay and I had a conversation about Santa Clause. We both came to the conclusion that it wasn't Santa himself that was real, but the joy that he brought to children. Jesus is certainly the spirit, and real meaning of Christmas, but Santa, to me, just further displays the giving heart that is so present at Christmas time. This movie not only teaches children (of all ages) that believing lies in the heart, but leading, giving, and learning does as well.

The graphics were wonderfully done, and truly made it feel real. Tom Hanks was awesome, and they did a great job of matching the movie to the book. Obviously, since the book is only 10 pages long, they had to add in some extra stuff, but they nearly matched the pictures in the book perfectly down to every last detail. Just look at the book before and after you see the movie, and you'll see what I mean. :)

After that fabulous, fun and exciting adventure we had with the boy-with-no-name, Josh Groban adds a beautiful finishing touch to the movie, singing "Believe" for the closing credits.

Polar Express reminded me of the innocence of children, and the simplicity of their faith. Those who doubt must be pushed a bit harder, and may even find themselves dangling on an edge, but believing will save them. As a child, reading Polar Express, it was simply a Christmas story about a boy who met Santa. As a teenager, I can now see that it's so much more than that.

God bless,
lv

P.S. I tried to put up pictures from the website, but they were bitmap and Hello only lets me do JPEG. Anyway, you can visit the site and see great pictures and other fun stuff. :)

haphazard thoughts

2004-10-27T20:17:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling random today, after a not so fabulous morning...so I wanted to share tidbits of my grandmother's latest email with you all.

Things You Must Know

Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight."
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month ... which we know today as the honeymoon.

Those are just a few of them, but I found them quite interesting - and arbitrary. Who knows if they're true, but the provide some fascinating facts.

Last night, I had the opportunity to share the truth of Christ with someone who honestly feels that Jesus can't love someone like him. It was hard, but quite an awesome event. Afer our our conversation, I was just in awe at the words I said...God had complete control of everything I said and it was amazing to experience His power like that! It was quite exhausting, but it was well worth it. I didn't change his heart, obviously, since humans can't change each other's hearts. But I do hope and pray that I planted a seed, and spurred something inside him to understand that God loves him no matter what - and that's the most amazing thing about Him!

Hope you're all doing well...and know that Jesus loves you, no matter what you do (Katie, remember our song...? :-p)!

God bless,
lv

moving forward

2004-10-26T20:06:00.000-04:00

Saturday, after soccer games and all the normal weekend stress, my parents packed us all in the car and we went to the Bush Rally at the football stadium. Wow. It was packed...and quite interesting, actually. Billy Cerveny and Aaron Tippin sang (2 country artists that I'm not very familiar with, unfortunately) and a variety of important people attended and spoke. Sean Hannady was there - he was a favorite of the crowd's. On our way home, we drove behind him, so we weren't stuck in too much traffic :-p

Bush was wonderful. He spoke longer than we expected him to, which was fine with us. The weather was really nice; there was a soft breeze, so it wasn't too hot. The highlight of the rally though was definitely when Air Force One flew (pretty lowly) over the stadium. It was just...surreal. It's a beautiful plane, as silly as that sounds, and it was really neat to see it right above us. They videoed the President's plane landing, and then as soon as he stepped out of the plane, the whole stadium cheered. It was awesome. Apparently, there were over 50,000 people there, making it the largest political rally in history. It's kind of cool that I was part of that!

Moving America Forward ... Bush Rally at Altell Stadium

Life has been pretty routine lately...our school schedule is kind of wacked up. As Mrs. Dill puts it, "The fun and games are being placed above the academics" which of course, we don't mind one bit! :) Homecoming is coming up, and we're all really excited; it will be Providence's first football homecoming, with lights and the whole nine yards! Katie and Max are the 10th grade reps, so that will be fun seeing them, too. I wonder how long Max will be able to stand still in front of a crowd of people, not to mention, with Katie right next to him. They'll probably pull some sort of a joke :-p haha. Anyway, hope you're all doing well and that you're experiecing God's love each and every day!

God bless,
lv

am I mistaken?

2004-10-16T01:05:00.000-04:00

There's a pivotal part in 13 Going on 30, when Jenna is talking to her mom over breakfast (chocolate chip pancakes). She aks her mom about mistakes; if she regrets the mistakes she's made and if she wishes she could go back. Her mom thinks for a moment, then looks at Jenna and tells her genuinely that no, she wouldn't go back or change them, and she didn't regret them, because she wouldn't have learned valuable lessons had it not been for mistakes she had made.

Not that mistakes are a good, fun thing that we should all go out and become acquainted with, but we can also use them to our advantage. When we make mistakes, we have two options. One, we can get upset, get frustrated, get angry and more than likely make that same mistake again. Or, two, we can get up, look around, realize what we've done wrong, decide to change it, and then emerge just a bit wiser than before we made the mistake.

When I gave my life to Christ, He in turn gave me the promise of guiding and directing my life despite the sins and mistakes I make daily. Thank goodness I have a merciful God; otherwise I would be in a lot of trouble. I fail so often. I fall short of the life I am called to by the Lord so many times each day. What a blessing that my God understands that, and loves me despite my faults.

Am I mistaken? I like to believe that I am. I make mistakes and God takes them and makes them a part of His perfect plan. Mistakes + Takes + Makes = Mistaken.

God bless,
lv

here we are; we've just begun, right here in this place where we belong

2004-10-14T22:00:00.000-04:00

There's something bittersweet about your baby brother turning 9 years old. I mean, I remember my ninth birthday. He's not allowed to be 9! He's my baby! :( Honestly, I'm finding myself quite sad. Nine just sounds so grown up. When Leighton was born, I cried and asked if the nurses could change it; I really wanted a little sister. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember holding him, fast asleep in my arms. I remember trying to learn to spell his name properly. I remember my dad telling me when he was born that when he was 12, I would be in college. I remember when he was about 3, I dressed him up in one of my mom's old dresses and put my Raggedy Ann wig on him and made him play with Katie and me. Gosh. He's still my baby brother. :sniff: Atleast I'll always have those memories. ^_^

Just because I'm having this emotional breakdown about my little, baby brother, I think I should pay him somewhat of a tribute.

Leighton the Mighty Underwear King.

Leighton Alexander Pitman ~ October 14, 1995
6 pounds, 12 ounces

AKA: Leighton the Artist, Lawton, Lay-tay, Tater bug, Bubby (that's my pet name for him hehe)...

Likes to: Fish and hunt with Daddy, draw, paint, color, etc..., play cars, hang out with his big brothers, cuddle with his big sister, play with his best friend Jared, ocean kayak, read, go Porsche "window shopping", collect money and count it, then later spend it on toys he doesn't need, listen to his Spirit soundtrack (that I so often steal from him :-p) do things with his grandparents, do special things with Mom, cuddle with his doggy, and play with Frodo the Hoppit.

Will always be: My cuddle bunny, the little boy who taught me that life isn't about you-it's about the people you share it with, my music buddy, my brother who has a better stradle than me...My baby brother.

I have spent countless moments with Leighton, and each one I will treasure forever. It's hard to see him grow up, yet fascinating to see the changes in his life. I look at the past with a smile and look forward to our future with excitement.

Leighton, you mean the world to me. I am so glad God gave me one more brother to complete our family. Life wouldn't be the same without you. I know as your big sister I mess up sometimes, and I can be bossy and annoying. But I really do love you. One day, when you're all grown up (and you're taller than me, hehe), you'll get to boss me around. :-p I hope you have a wonderful birthday. But, don't forget that you'll always be my baby brother. I love you!
Hugs and kisses x's infinity...plus 1,
Sissy

Ocean kayaking

Sorry guys. :tear: Hope you're doing well. I love you all!

God bless,
lv

Me with the birthday boy.

'english is easy and fun'

2004-10-11T16:45:00.000-04:00

When Mom and I were in Germany, we met up with our old exchange student who is now a mother of the cutest little German boy you'll ever see. Jeanette lived with us for a year when I was 4 or 5, so I didn't remember much about her. We had kept in touch and I had seen a couple of times over the years, but she hadn't seen my 8 year old brother yet, so it had been quite a while since our last visit. Of course, we never visited her. So, it was very exciting for Mom and I to get to see her in her own country. She was thrilled, as well. And, her having a kid made it twice as fun. She speaks English (not very well-she's quite out of practice), but her boyfriend and son do not. However, Ali (and, allow me to clarify - :coughs:Austin:coughs: No they're not Muslim. He's named after his grandmother Alexandra-his name is Ali Alexander.) has been taking English lessons. He hardly knows any-he's only 5-but his favorite phrase happened to be "English is easy and fun!" Whenever I'd ask him a question (in English of course) and he didn't know how to respond, he'd look at me with these gorgeous eyes and say "English is..." Yeah. You get the idea.

Marcus (Jeanette's boyfriend), Ali, Jeanette, Mom and me at the English Gardens.

So, I was thinking about this simple little phrase, but I how much it actually means to me. Not only am I thrilled that I have grown up in an English speaking country where I don't have to take the time to learn the incredibly complicated language, but I love the fact that more than any subject in school, English is the most fun! Easy doesn't exactly cut it, but fun-definitely. I love English. It's so fun! Okay, I apologize. I know, I'm a major nerd. But, you know, I just had to say that, because English is really awesome this year because Mrs. Sylvia is so fabulous. And, we're reading Les Mis. How much better can it get?? :runs from own nerdiness:

Me with Mrs. Sylvia (the greatest English teacher ever!) and Tiffany. :-D

Bah. I'm sorry to bore you with the dirty details of my love for English. I just couldn't help it. I've been looking at my Europe pictures a lot lately; making videos with them and continually begging my dad to take them and get them developed. But, I really want to go back. I don't know why I love it so much, but something about it makes me smile. Perhaps it's that God's glory is so evident when you go somewhere that you can't take for granted, and you see His beauty all around you. Thinking back on my trip though, it feels like a dream. It was dream, actually. A dream come true, anyway. It's amazing to me everything that my family did so I could go on that trip. My dad had to play Mom (with Jennifer's help of course :-p) for a month; it was hard on him. I remember the car ride home after they picked us up at the airport: Leighton: "I only had 4 showers while you guys were gone!" Harrison: "I only had 3!" Dad: "Be quiet!". Haha. As awesome as the trip was, it was the most rewarding to come home to the smiling faces of my little brothers, the teary eyes of my dad, and the "I missed you guys even though I don't want to admit it" look on my big brother's face. It was priceless, but definitely worth leaving them for a month. :-p It's too bad we don't get those faces every time we come home. We'd be one big happy family!

Mom and I were always close; we couldn't have gone on this trip if we hadn't been. But it definitely brought us even closer. We learned things about each other that will be valuable forever. We had to learn to work together, even when we didn't want to. Our first morning in London, Mom woke up with a terrible headache. She laid around for a few hours hoping it would go away, but she was out of her sinus pills and therefore had no medicated way to rid of it. Thank goodness she waited until London where they could actually speak English-that's all I'm going to say. I had to walk downstairs, ask the wonderful concierge (Rajick-made London that much better) where the nearest pharmacy was (to which he said he would call it, because he was friends with the owner and tell him I was coming) and walk there alone to pick up some medicine. Wow. It was actually kind of thrilling-walking in London alone. Even though it nearing the end of our trip, this was more or less a turning point. It was a sort of thing where we had to say "We're going to work together to make this the time of our lives." And, I know my mom would have done the same thing for me had it been the opposite situation.

Every day, I am grateful for the dream that my mom (and the rest of my family-including grandparents) helped turn into reality. A couple of years earlier, I had been talking to Cathy Driscoll, and we started talking about goals and dreams. I told her I hoped to go to Austria by the time I was 18. Being my second mom, she looked me in the eye and said, "Leslie, write it down. It will only be a dream until you make it more." So I went home, wrote it down, and now I'm 15 and have been to Austria, England, Switzerland, France, Germany...But that would not have been possible without my mom. She's such an amazing mom, you guys. You should all be jealous that she's mine. :-p We get frustrated with eachother; we're human. But, as many things as I want to do differently from her, I would love to know that I will make my little girl's dream come true one day too, just as she has done for me. Perhaps I would be better off just having one daughter; otherwise, that would be a lot of little girls to spoil (I'm sure glad God has all of this worked out). ^_^

Thanks, Mom. I love you!

Mom and me at the London train station.

God bless,
lv

pontificating

2004-10-06T20:55:00.001-04:00

Hi everyone.

I know it has been eons since I've even visited here. Because of the hurricanes (For those of you who don't know, Florida had 5 or so hurricanes hit pretty hard. 2 largely affected us in Jacksonvile), I have just been so back tracked. My routine has been knocked all around, and only in the last week or so have I felt like I'm actually getting somewhere with my scheduling. :shrug: Life is crazy. But, that's what makes it exciting. :)

It is comforting to know that it's not only my life that has been crazy. I have had so many friends who are dealing with rough things right now. Death, friendships, stress, life-altering decisions, divorce, their faith...sometimes I look at other people's lives and I'm so thankful how simple mine is. As Rachel and I were saying the other day-not much exciting happens in our lives. :-p Which, we agreed, is not nescessarily a bad thing because it would be better that nothing happens than bad things. However, it does get a bit dull at times. But, that is the joy of being a Christian. God's love brings new joys every morning and gives me something to look forward to each day. I just want to encourage everyone who is going through a rough time, no matter what the circumstance, to look up toward God and know that He understands your pain. And, more than that, He will comfort you through it. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4

Today during dance at school, I started thinking about something. Allow me, if you will, to briefly pontificate.

For our exam, we're required to take these corrections that other people have given us anonymously, and do our best to fix them to the best of our ability and make the dance look as clean as possible. We're being graded on how well we correct the problems addressed. Mrs. Rose, my teacher, said something to the effect of: "I'm going to grade hard, because we've been working on this dance for a while now and I really want it to look good." Something came to my mind; it's a stretch, I know, but I thought about it all the same. When our parents correct us, in love, they expect us to change that which they've corrected. Whether it's to keep our room clean or to bring up our grades, they want us to fix the problem. They don't tell us to clean our room and as a punishment we can't go out that night because they don't want us to go out. They want us to learn to be organized and neat-most likely, unlike themselves. They don't want us to deal with the same mistakes they've made. We see the moment-"I'm so mad at Mom. She won't let me go out tonight just because my room wasn't clean."-where as they see the long term-"I don't want my kid to grow up as unorganized and messy as I am." Just as Mrs. Rose wants the dance to look it's best so she's going to push us hard to get there, our parents are going to work hard to make us be the best we can be. Okay, everyone knows this, right? Right. Moving on. The next parallel I saw was that of God's correction and love toward us. He corrects us for the same reason; because He loves us and wants us to be the greatest example of His glory that we can be. But, He also expects us to change when He corrects us. And if we don't, He will continue to show us that which needs to be changed. Perhaps things in our lives happen over and over again because God is trying to show us something that we aren't responding to. Perhaps He is trying to correct our behavior and we're choosing to deny it or ignore it, with the hopes that the correction will go away. It won't. God loves us so much that He will continue to discipline us until we change our behavior. So, just some food for thought: If you're dealing with something and it doesn't seem to be going away, try asking God what He's trying to tell you. Chances are, there's something He wants to say to you. ^_^

Well, thanks for reading my ramblings. I apologize. :shrug: I just had to say it somewhere; and what better place than here? Hope you all are having an awesome week full of blessings and surprises. :D

God bless,
lv

frustrating changes

2004-09-16T20:00:00.000-04:00

It's funny how fast life can change right before your eyes and you don't even notice.

It's been odd for me this year, although it's the beginning (of the school year, anywho) in a lot of different ways. The school year started off strange not being a freshman. It took me a while to figure out what being a sophomore meant and to put it into perspective. And now, at dance, things are even stranger. This is my third year in the highest level, and now, I'm one of the best. I don't mean to sound conceited, but now that all of those super good seniors are gone, I am in the better percentage of the class. And, its frustrating. I feel like I have no one to really look up to, no one to push myself with or to aspire to. Instead, I'm making sure I look my best for the girls just coming up to advanced ballet; and, believe it or not, it takes a lot less work.

When I was at Arts Triumphant full time in 7th grade, Miss Yvonne put me in Pavlova, the highest level. At the beginning, it was awful. I was always behind, I was certainly not as advanced as the rest of the class and I was constantly intimidated by the other students. There were 23 year olds in my class. I didn't know what in the world I was doing there. And then, after three months or so, it clicked. I finally got it. My flexibility came, my brain started processing the combinations, I picked up on things quicker, I was doing the hard stuff like I'd done it all my life. And, it was because I was being pushed. Everyone around me was better, and there was no where I could go but up. All I wanted was to be as good as everyone around me.

But now, I'm one of the people that younger girls look up to. And, as cool as it is, it's frustrating because I feel like I have no where to go. I'm not a good enough dancer to be looked up to, and just because I'm "looked up to" doesn't mean I can't get better. So, I feel as if I'm kind of stuck at this place of not being able to go anywhere. And, this doesn't just apply to dance. It applies to a lot of my life too.

We had P&P again today...ah, I can't even describe how awesome it is. I just love how God is using our generation. Even something as simple as a small worship outside of school one morning a week-it's incredible the power that goes into that. His love is so abounding for us, you guys. I pray that each and everyone of you recognize that. :)

God bless,
lv